Agony of Affection
by levana lachrimae
Summary: The bullying that has haunted Roxas for years just became worse. After enduring a very tough break-up with Hayner, the whole school *mysteriously* finds out that he's gay. Will Axel be able to stop Roxas from harming himself when things just get too much
1. Chapter 1

**Summary**: The bullying that has haunted Roxas for years just became worse. After enduring a very tough break-up with Hayner, the whole school *mysteriously* finds out that he's gay. Will Axel be able to stop Roxas from harming himself when things just get too much to take? Akuroku. **Warning**: Involves physical/sexual abuse.

**Disclaimer**: I own nothing but the storyline!

* * *

Monday had always been a dreadful day, and I'd say this one topped the charts. My heart was pounding as the bus came to a jerky halt in front of T. Town High. This school had been my worst nightmare for almost four years now, and it would only get worse if anyone saw me with puffy red eyes and tear-streaked cheeks. I hadn't realized how close we were to the school. I had to compose myself quickly to avoid any more humiliation than I was already going to receive.

My friend Pence sidled past my seat, sending a pity-filled glance my way before stepping off the bus. I watched him trudge over to where my other friends were waiting. Bad idea. My gaze slid painfully over my three closest companions: Pence, Olette, and... Hayner.

I choked back more tears that were threatening to fall. If I let even one slip, I knew it would open the floodgates again. Hayner and I had been dating, in complete secrecy to all but Pence and Olette, for the past year. That is... until he broke it off Friday evening... on our anniversary.

He hadn't even remembered.

_My heart did a little flip at the sound of the knock at my door. Mom and Dad were gone, off somewhere trying to repair the ragged threads of their relationship again. I... we... had the house to ourselves. I bit my lip at the thought._

_"Hey babe," I said with a smirk when I opened the door. My smile faded when I heard his words._

_"What's all this?" he asked, obviously puzzled, pointing inside to the very visible trail of rose petals. He didn't look as happy as I'd imagined._

_Instead of the seductive line I was planning, I said, "Well... it's our anniversary. I thought... maybe we could celebrate... in the bedroom?"_

_His eyes widened and a look of shock crossed his face as he said, "Oh God...Roxas I didn't even... Shit. Well I might as well just get out with it then. Damn... I'm sorry."_

_"What?" I asked, my heart sinking more and more with every beat._

_"Well," he ran a hand through his hair. "It's just that... I... Aw dammit, Roxas, I'm dating Olette."_

I couldn't help the tears this time.

At that precise moment, the bus driver closed the doors, preparing to pull away. I was tempted to just let him go. I figured he'd get to the bus shop before he realized I was still on.

My honest nature got the best of me as I said, "Wait! I'm still on."

"Huh?" the bus driver grunted, turning to look at me. "Well go on then, we don't got all day."

"Sorry," I muttered making my way along the aisle.

"You okay, son?" asked the driver as I reached the steps, genuine concern in his eyes.

I paused before saying, "No," and practically tripping down the last stair to the ground.

I marched straight past my former friends... and Hayner... pretending not to care that he had his arm possessively around Olette. Why did he look so smug? I ignored them as I made my way into the cafeteria for breakfast (like hell were my parents up to feed me before school). A few girls giggled at me, turning their backs to whisper as I opened the cafeteria door. I shrugged. I was used to being whispered about.

I didn't realize something was wrong until a few moments after I walked through the cafeteria doors. What was usually a frenzied mass of shouts, laughter and overall chaos turned quickly into still silence. You probably would have been able to hear a pin drop.

I stood there stupidly, not knowing what was going on or how to react, until a boy at a table in the right corner (aka the popular clique's table) stood and yelled, "Hey faggot, heard you got dumped. Want me to make ya feel better?" He grabbed his crotch and thrust himself forward.

To my horror, almost everyone in the cafeteria burst into violent laughter, a few wolf whistles here and there. Through the laughter, I could make out more taunts, too shocked to make out what they meant. I couldn't comprehend anything right now.

The tears I had been holding back all weekend suddenly caught up with me, welling up in my eyes and streaming down my face in endless rivulets. Blindly, I ran out of the cafeteria, not caring where I ended up. I only wanted to get away from the shouts and hideous laughter, all directed straight at me.

This was undoubtedly the worst Monday of my life.

* * *

**A/N: I've been mulling over this story idea for the longest time, and I finally decided to write it. This is my first story, so please review! :)**

82b4e828-c60a-42bf-8776-fc023eda43fc

1.03.01


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary**: The bullying that has haunted Roxas for years just became worse. After enduring a very tough break-up with Hayner, the whole school *mysteriously* finds out that he's gay. Will Axel be able to stop Roxas from harming himself when things just get too much to take? Akuroku. **Warning**: Involves physical/sexual abuse.

**Disclaimer**: I own nothing but the storyline!

**A/N: I decided that I would go ahead and upload chapter 2, since I already have it written. :)**

**

* * *

**

My life was ruined. I was certain of it. I would never be able to show my face in this town again. I would have to run away. Go somewhere they didn't know me. Start all over with a new life. But where would I go? How would I live? And how would I get out without anyone noticing?

After a while of mulling it over, I decided that I couldn't leave. Staying home for the rest of my life seemed like a better idea. I would just never come out of my room again. I could live my life as a hermit. But I still had to find a way to get out and get back home without anyone noticing me.

How had everyone found out about me anyway? The only ones that knew about it were my two best friends and Hayner. Pence and Olette wouldn't betray me like that, would they? They knew what would happen if anyone else found out. Worse, they knew what would happen if anyone found out and leaked the information to my father. They wouldn't condemn me like that would they?

I'm sure it wasn't Pence. He seemed very sympathetic about it this morning on the bus. Or maybe that was guilt? No. I shoved the thought out of my mind. Pence had been my absolute best friend ever since I came to Twilight Town. He wouldn't betray me like that and effectively sabotage my entire life.

It might have been Olette, but I didn't think that she was capable of something this extreme. She was a sweet and innocent girl who had also been one of my best friends ever since I came here. She and Pence were very understanding when I came out to them. Those three were the first and only ones I had ever told, and I was sure that neither Pence or Olette would do anything to intentionally harm me.

The only other person it could have been was Hayner. At first, I thought that was unlikely. If he had outed me, he would had to have outed himself. Then again, most people already knew that he was bisexual and no one really seemed to care. He probably wouldn't mind at all if everyone else found out, and people already knew that he hung out with me, the freak. Up until now, they had just thought that we were very close friends.

I thought about that for a while. I remembered the smug grin on his face when I'd gotten off the bus this morning. At the time, there hadn't seemed to be a reason behind it. This could be it. He did have a tendency to be quite mean sometimes. Still, it was difficult to think that he was capable of something like this. He knew I didn't want anyone knowing about my preference. I'd made it clear to him when we first started dating that I didn't want anyone to find out. He knew what would happen if the other students, and worse my dad, found out. Could it have been him who told?

Something occurred to me then. My father hadn't spoken to me at all yesterday. What if someone had told him? How long had everyone known? What would happen when I came home from school today? If he had known yesterday, wouldn't he have said something then? Then again, maybe he was waiting to bring it up. Maybe he knew that everyone at school knew and was waiting to see how I would come home today. Maybe it wasn't the best idea to go home. Then again...

I sighed. I suppose I had until they locked down the school to think about it. I would just hide here until everyone left. At least I had managed to find somewhere that (hopefully) no one would find me. I had tried the boys' bathroom first and soon figured out that wasn't the best idea. Two boys came in, heard me crying and the laughing and cruelty had started again. And here I'd thought the days of almost drowning in toilet water were over.

In any case, I managed to get away before those two called some of their friends (which would have been a complete nightmare) and take refuge under the library stairs. Since people that are really high up there on the social ladder rarely go to the library, I figured no one who wanted to make my life even more of a living hell would find me here. And no one else would want to bother with me, too afraid to risk their own fragile reputations to be seen anywhere near me. Everyone who was usually a target for torment was glad for the new-found interest in me, even if they were a bit sympathetic.

As if to contradict my thoughts, I heard footsteps that had previously been a bit farther down the hall turn the corner. It briefly crossed my mind that it might be a teacher, since all the other students were in first period, but I didn't dwell on who it might be. I tried to stifle a gasp when I saw a pair of legs pass dangerously close to my hiding place, but failed. These legs, wearing a pair of faded blue jeans with quite a hole in the left knee and a pair of black sneakers, paused for a moment. It was definitely a student.

Though I wasn't a religious person, I said a silent prayer to "the powers that be," sending my hope that whoever owned these legs would just be on their merry way. I was pleasantly surprised when those legs started walking again, straight past the stairs. A few seconds later, I heard the water fountain across the hall from the librarian's office start up. I huffed a bit. I'd have to start going to church!

_Scratch that_, I thought to myself when the right foot of the aforementioned legs caught on the doorstop and a notebook slid across the floor, landing very conveniently about five inches from me.

I heard a muffled, breathy curse before the legs appeared before me once more, this time accompanied by a smooth, languidly gruff voice, "Excuse me, whoever you are hiding under there, would you mind sliding out my notebook for me?"

I stiffened. I didn't want to acknowledge my presence with any more movement than necessary.

Noticing my hesitation, the owner of the legs crouched, showing me his face and, with a slight smirk said, "Please?"

I hesitated a moment longer, but this time it was because I was too busy looking (well, more like gawking) at the face before me. He was slender and pale with some wildly spiky red hair. When I met his gaze, I almost couldn't hold back my gasp. He had, indisputably, the most gorgeous sparkling green eyes I had ever laid eyes on.

Quickly, I looked away, closing my eyes as I slid the notebook toward him. I definitely should not have been thinking those kind of things. They only lead to trouble and humiliation and heartbreak. I'd recently come to the conclusion that nothing good ever comes from love. A crush could crush you more completely than a ton of bricks, so I wasn't about to develop one.

"Thanks," said the redhead. "I'm not about to ask you what you're doing hiding here, cuz I think I can guess. You're the boy from the lunch room this morning."

He had been there! I shut my eyes tighter, pulled my knees to my chest, and nodded. At this moment, I was acutely aware of my not-quite-dry-from-toilet-water upper half, and I was sure that he was too. This was totally embarrassing and I was certain that, in a few hours, everyone would know that I had been found hiding under the stairs, soaked in toilet water like the coward I was.

"They always give you such a hard time?" he asked, his voice gentle and calm. This surprised me. I wasn't normally met with a kind voice.

I pulled my knees tight against my chest, making fists in the material of my jeans as I managed to say, "It wasn't like this before." My cracked words were little more than a whisper.

He sighed and said, "Do you know who outed you?"

"I can guess," I said, letting the tears fall again when I thought of my suspicions toward Hayner. I don't know why, but I felt like I didn't have to hide my tears from this boy. Still, I didn't feel like talking about my problems, much less to someone I just met. I wasn't about to trust him. He was probably just talking to me to get information to use against me. After all, he was the newcomer. He was probably going to divulge everything he learned to someone in the social elite, trying to earn his place. When he opened his mouth to speak again, I interrupted, "Please leave me alone."

He sighed and looked away as he said, "First period is about to get out. I know you don't want to, but you should probably go to your classes today." I was about to protest when he continued, "They'll be less likely to hurt you in class with the teacher there to witness it. If someone else finds you here... they might not be so nice with no witnesses around."

I twitched. He did have a point, but why was he helping me? Was this all a trick to get me to come out of hiding?

"I know what it's like to be brutally outed," he said, making me look up in surprise. He was on his feet now, bending slightly to look me in the eye. "You're not a freak," he said finally before walking away.

* * *

**I've been at this story for a while now, like I said, so I've gotten quite a few chapters started. Still working on the next one though. That's where it starts to get interesting. I'll have it done soon though. Please review! :)**

82b4e828-c60a-42bf-8776-fc023eda43fc

1.03.01

82b4e828-c60a-42bf-8776-fc023eda43fc

1.03.01


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary**: The bullying that has haunted Roxas for years just became worse. After enduring a very tough break-up with Hayner, the whole school *mysteriously* finds out that he's gay. Will Axel be able to stop Roxas from harming himself when things just get too much to take? Akuroku. **Warning**: Involves physical/sexual abuse.

_(This chapter involves both types of abuse! Don't like it, read until after he ran the mile, then skip.)_

**Disclaimer**: I own nothing but the storyline!

* * *

I decided to take the redhead's advice and go to class. I had to endure giggles, whispers, and the occasional dirty look, but at least no one had the nerve to call me out. It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be, but that did little to make me feel comfortable. Hallways were a little nerve-racking, but there were teachers (not to mention the scary assistant principal) in the hallways, so I was okay there. I stayed in my fifth period class when everyone went to lunch. Luckily, my art teacher didn't badger me with questions. She asked me once if I was okay, and shot me a sympathetic glance or two, but that was the worst of it.

I was okay until seventh period. My most hated class of the day. Gym. I almost skipped it, but the day was almost over and I could go home soon, so that put me in a slightly good mood. In hindsight, I definitely should have ditched.

Our gym teacher divided the girls and the boys and made us play basketball against each other. That was a recipe for disaster in and of itself. First team to ten would get to dress in early and the losing team had to run a mile. The final ingredient in this recipe for disaster was the fact that I couldn't play basketball to save my life... and coach assigned me to play shooting guard. This would be a fun time.

Needless to say, the girls won and we had to run a mile. Because of this, I received numerous nasty glares and everyone threw the fault of the loss on me. Of course, it was my fault, but it could have been the coach's fault for assigning me as two when he knew full well that I couldn't play.

Not only did we have to run a mile, but we couldn't dress in until we finished our mile. Just my luck, the bell rang to dismiss us to the bus line when I still had a quarter-mile to go. And my bus was the first one to leave the lot. And the buses were parked almost on the complete other side of school. Meaning, I effectively missed my bus, and I'd either have to call my father to pick me up or walk nine miles home. Either way, my father would be pissed that he had to come all the way up to the school to get me, or he would be pissed that I was late getting home. I sighed and decided to go shower. As long as I missed my bus, I might as well go home clean.

I know that people shower after gym class all the time, but I had never done so before. It felt very awkward being naked in the shower of the boys' locker room, even with no one else in the room. I had stayed in just long enough to get somewhat clean when I heard the door creak open and at least four boys, laughing and muttering among themselves, pile into the locker room. I quickly shut off the shower, very relieved that I had left my gym shorts right outside the stall, even though my shirt was on the bench by my locker.

I had just tugged on my shorts when one of the boys poked his head around the corner. He turned around and said, "He's in here." Turning back to me, "Hey, Roxas, c'mere."

I didn't want to, but those boys happened to be standing between me and the only door to the locker room. I had no choice. I figured I'd slip past them, having to endure some taunts in the process, and make my escape. That, however, was far from what happened. I stepped around the corner and came face-to-face with...

"Hayner..." I gulped. _I will not cry I will not cry I will not_...

"'Sup, Roxas?" Hayner said, his arm stretched out to the wall beside me, effectively blocking my exit.

"Uh..." I said, too stupid to just realize what was going on and leave.

One of the boys behind him made very unattractive smooching noises, followed by laughter from all four. I recognized one of the boys behind Hayner as the one who had called me out in the cafeteria this morning.

"As if," Hayner said, trying to choke back his own laughter. He looked me over and said, "You were fun while you lasted, you know. You just got way to clingy and I'm not into that girly romantic love stuff. You started to bore me... and you weren't even a good fuck."

Tears stung my eyes as I said, "We never..." in a very broken voice.

I never got to finish that statement. Before I knew what had happened, I was doubled over in the most absolute agony I've ever felt. I couldn't move or breathe or even think clearly. It felt like my whole lower half was literally on fire. After the initial pain subsided to a less (but still quite strong) painful ache, I felt like I was going to heave. I'd never been kicked in the nuts before, and people say that it's supposed to be the most painful thing that any man can experience, but nothing could have prepared me for that. Especially since it was Hayner that had kicked me.

After a while of watching me moan in the fetal position, Hayner said, "I'm gone, you guys have at it."

The remaining three guys snickered as Hayner left. One of them said, "This is gonna be good, y'know?"

I heard the distinct sound of someone unzipping. The next thing I knew, someone had grabbed a fistful of my hair and proceeded to lift me off the floor by it. I reached up to the guy's hand, trying to get it out of my hair, screaming in the process. My screams were stifled by something large and warm entering my mouth. I let out a muted cry and did the first thing I thought of. I bit.

My action was rewarded by a shout and a swift punch in the face. I was then thrown into the hard metal lockers behind me. It felt like my jaw had been taken off. The guy whose dick I had bitten grabbed my crotch and squeezed. I winced at the pain as stars swarmed around my eyes.

"Listen here, little slut," he spat. "You pull a stunt like that again, and I'll show ya' just how much pain a man can take, ya' hear?"

After another agonizing squeeze to my crotch, I nodded.

"Good," he said, drawing out the word. "Now open your mouth."

I bit my lip as the guy's dick appeared very close to my face. I clamped my mouth shut. Once again, the guy grabbed my hair, but this time he slammed my head into the lockers. I took a shallow breath, my mouth now agape. Before I could react, my mouth was once again invaded.

The guy laughed and said low and huskily, "Now be a good boy."

His hand, which had previously been squeezing the life out of my boys, began rubbing me through my gym shorts as he slipped his tip down my throat. I started choking, but that only made him laugh. I had been crying so much that my nose was stopped up and I couldn't breathe. Meanwhile, as much as it shamed me, I could feel myself becoming slightly hard as he continued to stroke me.

Apparently, he noticed because he said, "Oh, you like that don'tcha? Want me to make ya' feel better now? Maybe I'll take a closer look at your nice hard cock."

I tried to protest, but he tugged on my hair and said, "Didn't your mommy ever tell you not to talk with your mouth full?" This question excited a fit of laughter out of the other two guys, whose taunts and gestures I had been paying little attention to. "C'mon, slut, you're not being a very good boy at all."

When I only continued to choke, he pulled himself out of my mouth, giving me the first good gulp of air I'd had in a while.

"Fine," he said, "I'll do it myself." He turned to one of his friends and said, "Gag 'im and hold 'im down, would ya'? I need a hand free."

I sobbed when he let go of my hair. The guy's friend shoved my shirt into my mouth and held both my wrists above my hand as the first guy began to stroke himself. He built up momentum, on both himself and me, until he came... all over my face. I grimaced as his fluids dripped down onto my bare chest.

He blew out a big breath, chuckled and said, "Go clean yourself up. You look like shit."

The guy that had been holding my wrists up shoved me down into the corner. When I didn't make a move to get up, he laughed and asked if he could have some fun. His fun, thankfully, only consisted of kicking the shit out of me until his buddy told him to stop. At this point, I couldn't hear anything they were saying for the ringing in my ears, and I really didn't care. I just wanted them to leave me alone.

Thankfully, after a few more aggressive kicks, that's exactly what they did. They left me alone, broken and bruised, on the locker room floor.

* * *

**A/N: Okay, I'm a girl, so obviously I've never been kicked in the nuts, so obviously I wouldn't know at all what it feels like. Accurate? :) The scenario with the basketball game and missing the bus actually happened to me my last year of school. (Only, obviously, the girls lost) I was pissed. xD Thanks for reading. Please review! :)**

82b4e828-c60a-42bf-8776-fc023eda43fc

1.03.01


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary**: The bullying that has haunted Roxas for years just became worse. After enduring a very tough break-up with Hayner, the whole school *mysteriously* finds out that he's gay. Will Axel be able to stop Roxas from harming himself when things just get too much to take? Akuroku. **Warning**: Involves physical/sexual abuse.

**Disclaimer**: I own nothing but the storyline!

* * *

I have no idea how long I had been lying there crying in the corner before someone came in. I tensed up, afraid to move a muscle. What if they had come back? I laid there for a moment in silence, waiting for something, anything, to happen. I just wanted to know what I had to go through this time.

I heard familiar footsteps coming toward me, stopping over me. I was afraid to look up to see who it was. A few seconds later, I felt hands on my waist. This caused fear to course through me so intensely that I began to shake. The hands were removed and I tried to make myself as small as possible in the corner.

The hands that had been on my waist moved to my shoulders. I started to sob, almost choking on my words as I said, "No! Please don't fuck me. I'll be a good boy. Please!"

My cries were cut off by a gentle hand over my mouth. "Shh," said the voice behind me. "I'm not gonna hurt you."

The boy removed his hand from my mouth and gingerly pulled me away from the lockers, turning me toward him. It was the boy from the stairs. He took in my disheveled appearance, the welts that were forming on my torso and back, and the drying cum on my face and chest. I turned away, ashamed to let him see me like this.

"Are you okay?" he asked, his voice still very gentle.

The question made me chuckle with dark humor and I replied, "No, not really."

He sat down and pulled up his knees. "You wanna talk about it?"

"No. Not really," I repeated, in a darker tone than before.

"Okay," he said, running his fingers through his hair. "You wanna shower?"

I looked down at myself, at the bruises beginning to form, and considered the sticky feeling on my face and torso and said, "I should."

"Okay," said the redhead. "I'll be here when you get back."

I nodded and tried to get up, only to find that almost unbearable. I got maybe a foot from the floor before I found myself falling down from the strain.

"Do you..." he cleared his throat. "Do you need help?"

I winced at his words and said, "Probably... but... uh..."

"Do you think you can wash yourself without help if I get you to a shower?"

I sighed with relief, that was a lot better than what I had imagined. "Yes."

"Alright then," he said, springing up from the floor. "Upsy daisy."

As carefully as he could, he lifted me into his arms. He was surprisingly strong for someone so skinny. Surprisingly, it didn't hurt when he carried me to the shower. It actually felt... kinda good. Yeah, it hurt when he picked me up and it hurt like hell when he put me down, but I was in very little pain when he was holding me.

Trying to take off my gym shorts was another story, and I wasn't about to let him do it, so I just left them on. The water stung when it hit me, but I got used to it. It was a relief just to get clean. I wanted to get the feeling off, but that was something that water couldn't help. No matter how hard I scrubbed, I wouldn't be able to get the feeling of their hands out of my skin for a while. They were still there. I could still feel them there, no matter how hard I tried not to.

When I was done showering, I called for the redhead. He came in, shut off the water, and looked me over. I thought there had been a look in his eyes, but it was gone as soon as it had come. I didn't fail to notice, however, the way his eyes had lingered a second longer on the way the water had made my gym shorts cling to me before clearing his throat and handing me a towel.

"Do you want me to call someone for you?" he asked, gesturing to his cell phone (which, by the way, are not allowed on campus).

"No," I said with wide eyes. If my father answered the phone... I couldn't trust him not to ask questions that I didn't want to give answers to.

The redhead cocked his eyebrow, but said nothing as he put his cell phone back in his pocket.

He sighed and said, "Alright then, you need a ride home?"

"Yeah," I said, closing my eyes. I did not want to think about what my parents would say when I came home at... Looking back at him I asked, "What time is it?"

"Almost seven," he said, looking at his watch.

That made me pause. "What are you doing on campus at this time?"

"I left my backpack in my gym locker sixth period. I only noticed after I'd already gotten home. So I came back to get it."

"Oh..." I said. Then something else occurred to me. "What's your name?"

He smirked and said, "Axel."

"Roxas," I said in reply.

"Well, Roxas, I'd imagine you're ready to leave?"

I bit my lip and nodded, allowing him to lift me into his arms once again. As he was taking me out to his car, I leaned my head against his shoulder and said, "Thank you, Axel."

He paused for a moment before answering, "Sure thing."

He fitted me gently into the passenger's seat of his car, a black Honda Civic. I would have fallen right to sleep if he hadn't needed directions to my house. We drove in complete silence, only breaking it when I told him where to turn.

I sighed when he pulled up in front of my house. I could hear my parents arguing from the street. It sounded like someone was being murdered in there. I jumped when I heard the sound of breaking glass. One of them had thrown a heavy book out of the living room window. I sighed again, not wanting to go inside.

Axel picked up on that, of course, and asked, "Are you sure you want to go home?"

"Not entirely," I admitted. "But where else would I go?"

He shrugged and said, "You could stay in the guest bedroom at my house," as if it were the most natural thing in the world.

I blinked at him, "What would your parents say?"

He chuckled, "Well... I don't think they'd have much to say at all considering they're dead."

"Oh I'm sor-"

"Don't be," he waved. "Dad died before I was born. Mom died in childbirth. I have no memory of either of them. Why would I miss someone I never met?"

"That makes some kind of eerie sense," I noted.

"Hmm," he smirked. "So... you staying here or coming with me?"

_I should go home_, I thought to myself. _Dad's gonna be pissed enough as it is_. If I didn't go home that, he'd probably have a stroke when I did. "I'll go with you," I said.

He turned to look at me, his face unreadable, and nodded. I could tell he was worried about me, but didn't want to bring up what had happened until I was ready to talk about it. I closed my eyes and let the seat down, rolling onto my side so my back was to Axel. I didn't feel like talking quite yet.

We weren't five minutes into the drive when I drifted to sleep. I woke and was vaguely aware of the car stopping and Axel lifting me out, but I must have fallen right back to sleep.

* * *

**A/N: I'm uploading this with Chapter 3, because I already have it done (and I didn't feel right leaving Roxas like that!) Sorry this chapter was so short. I honestly just didn't know where to go from here. lol Well, I do, but that's just getting too far ahead into the storyline if I start going in that direction at this point. *Gasp!* Axel stole my car! lol Thanks for reading. Please review! :)**

82b4e828-c60a-42bf-8776-fc023eda43fc

1.03.01


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary**: The bullying that has haunted Roxas for years just became worse. After enduring a very tough break-up with Hayner, the whole school *mysteriously* finds out that he's gay. Will Axel be able to stop Roxas from harming himself when things just get too much to take? Akuroku. **Warning**: Involves physical/sexual abuse.

**Disclaimer**: I own nothing but the storyline!

* * *

I woke up to the sensation of something gently scratching my face. Something wet? I opened my eyes to see a large white and orange cat perched on my chest. I gingerly lifted the huge feline off of me, placing it beside me on a magnificent queen-sized canopy bed. I noticed with a blush that I was no longer wearing my uncomfortable gym shorts (which I was going to burn as soon as possible). They had been replaced by a very pleasant pair of cotton pajama bottoms. Axel must have changed me into them while I was sleeping. I looked around. If this was Axel's _guest_ bedroom, he must have been living very comfortably. The whole room was very ornate, the main focus on a sculpture near a set of French doors that looked out onto a beautiful, but not very well-kept flower garden.

I couldn't really think about Axel's living conditions, as much as I would have liked to. My thoughts, as much as I tried to block them out, kept running back to images of yesterday. I tried not to cry. It seemed all I'd been doing lately was shedding more and more tears. If they hadn't been salty, I could have almost purged thirst from a third-world country. However much I tried to hold them back, thinking about how much I'd been crying just made me cry more, especially considering what I'd been crying _about_.

I sighed, pulling my knees to my chest. I winced when the action jolted my sore ribs, sending a shock of pain wrapping around my torso. It occurred to me that those brutal kicks I'd received might have broken a few ribs. I thought about what had happened in the locker room last night and retched. What had possessed Hayner to...

_Hayner_. My depression and sorrow over the loss of my loved one quickly sullied and turned to anger, though I couldn't bring myself to hate him. Not quite. But he certainly made me furious. Why would he have dated me for a year... _A YEAR! _... if he never loved me? Why would he wait that long if he just wanted to get in my pants? Did he get some sick pleasure out of making me love him and leaving me.? Why hadn't he moved on sooner?

_Oh my God, Olette!_ My thoughts turned to my best friend. Would he hurt her like he'd hurt me? Would he continually tell her he loves her every day (only after she tells him first, of course) but secretly have no romantic feelings toward her whatsoever, only the desire to... My head swam with images of all the foul things he would be planning to do to her. They disgusted me. I retched again when I remembered that I had been planning to do very similar foul things to him not three days ago. How could I have been so stupid? How could I have loved him so blindly? How could I have not noticed until it was much too late that he did not share my feelings? What if the same thing happened to Olette?

I twitched and made fists in my... Axel's... pajama bottoms, my knuckles turning white. He didn't deserve her. He didn't deserve anyone. If all he was looking for was a good fuck... And to think I had loved him! And to think... I had hated Olette all weekend. She was my best friend and I had hated her! I had thought horrible things about her, all because I thought that she had stolen my boyfriend when it was _him _who was... planning to steal her. I couldn't let him. I had to warn her. She deserved to know that she was dating a monster! But would she believe me? It didn't matter, I had to warn her anyway. She was innocent and he was planning to take that from her.

I was just lucky I hadn't let him take that from me, although his friend almost had. This thought made me twitch again. Before I could do anything, my head was once again swimming with the horrible images from last night. I let go of the pajamas and pulled at my hair, my scalp still very tender. I just wanted to make the thoughts go away. I looked down at my wrist, faded scars from years ago still visible. The pain had made me stop thinking about all the horrible things that had happened to me. I hadn't cut in a year and a half, and I hadn't wanted to. Nothing had been bad enough to bring me to that extreme. Until now.

I looked around for something that would be suitable to cut with, or at least something that would bring sufficient pain. I was about to go into the kitchen searching for a knife or just settle for poking myself in my ribs when I noticed a folded piece of paper on the bedside table next to a beautiful lamp. Curious, I picked it up. I actually smiled at the words.

"Good morning. Sorry if I'm not here when you wake up. I went out for a while. It's Tuesday, but I didn't think you'd really wanna go to school. So feel free to explore the house. Just don't wander off. Make yourself at home until I get back. And sorry about the cat. He likes to cuddle. -Axel"

I caught a tear on my wrist and chuckled at the irony. Axel might not have known me, but it was clear that he cared about me. He wasn't like the others. He didn't care what anyone thought of him for helping me. I held the note to my chest. It was comforting to know that someone, even just one person, selflessly cared about me. I put the note down and blinked away my tears. Cutting was no longer on the agenda for today.

I made good on the offer of exploring. I figured it would take my mind off of things. Timidly at first, I made my way out of the guest bedroom, the cat following me close behind, weaving around my ankles and almost making me trip. The rest of the house (or at least what I saw of it) was just as, if not more, beautiful than the guest bedroom. I came to the conclusion, partially because of the sheer number of doors, that Axel must have been loaded. Not only was everything so ornate, but there was so much space. His house made mine look like a two room apartment. Looking out the kitchen (which was filled with shiny, state-of-the-art, top-notch appliances) window, I saw that his garage was about the size of my house.

Just at the moment I decided to investigate the fridge (what can I say, I hadn't eaten yesterday), I saw his black Honda pull into that garage. I believe I got a partial view of some type of boat as well. Before he got in the door, I settled onto the couch in the living room. The cat jumped up into my lap and I was petting him when Axel walked through the door, carrying a brown paper bag.

He smiled at me and said, "Good morning. I see you've been acquainted with Freckles."

"Yeah," I said as he headed through to the kitchen, which was on the other side of a wall that went half way across the distance from the front door to the back door (which was next to the hallway heading to the guest bedroom). We could successfully hold a conversation even though we were on separate sides of that wall. "He woke me up."

I heard a low, throaty chuckle then, "Sorry about that. I guess I didn't close the door all the way."

"It's okay," I said. I gulped, "Hey uh... these pajamas... did you undress me?"

I heard the sound of something large and metal striking the floor, followed by a grunt and a quiet expletive, then metal scraping the floor, a loud thud, and finally running water.

"I'll take that as a yes?" I asked, leaning backwards slightly to try to get a view around the end of the wall. All I saw was a cabinet.

"Uh..." he said, "Yeah, well I figured you probably wouldn't want to sleep in wet gym shorts, so... uh..."

"It's okay," I answered. I paused for a moment, then, "Thank you."

"Huh?" he asked, poking his head around the wall to look at me.

I met his gaze with a grin, "I really didn't... want to sleep in wet gym shorts."

He smiled and said, "Well, you're welcome."

"One thing though," I said before he left my view.

"Whassat?" he said.

"Would you burn them for me?" I asked.

He chuckled, a slow smile spreading over his face as he nodded.

A few moments later, he cleared his throat and said, "I checked a few places I thought might be broken when uh... well. You have a couple cracked ribs, but other than that, nothing too serious. There's not much you can do for that, but do you want me to take you to a hospital anyway?"

"No, I'll be fine," I answered, a bit too quickly. I didn't feel at all like having doctors poking at me and asking questions.

"Well, in that case, I have a few Ace bandages tucked away. I'll wrap that for you. It's about all I can do."

"Okay," I answered, blanking back into silence.

We were quiet for a while, and I heard sounds of Axel cooking coming from the kitchen, accompanied by various, somewhat obtrusive, scents.

After a while, I couldn't hold my curiosity, "Axel?"

"Yeah?" he said over the sound of grease sputtering.

"Are you like... rich or something?" I asked.

He chuckled again and said, "My parents' inheritance paid for this house. Apparently, my father was very well-off."

"Oh..." I said. "That makes sense."

"Yeah," he said. I could see the accompanying shrug in my mind's eye. "It's enough to live off of and keep me happy possibly for the rest of my life, or until I decide to spend it on something stupid and reckless." He leaned around the wall again and... winked... at me.

A few minutes later, he came around the corner with a plate in one hand and a bowl in the other. The plate was filled with eggs, bacon, and toast. The bowl held oatmeal. The toast and the oatmeal, I could handle, but the other items...

Apparently he noticed my hesitation (he was quite good at that), because he asked, "Is something wrong?"

"I don't want to be rude," I said.

"What is it?" he asked, scrutinizing his work.

I paused and bit my lip before saying, "I'm vegan."

He scrunched his eyebrows and eyed the plate. "Hmm... well here, take these," he said, handing me the toast and oatmeal. "You don't mind if I eat the rest though, do you?"

"No, not at all," I said with a smile, taking the items he offered.

He began to take the rest into the kitchen when I asked, "Where are you going?"

"I'm going to the kitchen so I can eat the foul animal products without disturbing you," he said, like it was only natural to hide while eating bacon and eggs.

"Oh," I said, noting how considerate he was being. "Thank you."

"No problem," he called as he sidled into the kitchen.

"So I take it milk is out of the picture too?" he asked.

"Sorry, yeah," I replied.

"No need to apologize. You want juice, then? I've got apple, cranapple, and orange."

"Orange juice would be swell," I replied, biting a chunk out of the toast.

"Coming right up. Oh and I got you something while I was out."

"What?" I asked, leaning over to try to see what he was doing.

He brought me a glass of orange juice and a small plastic bag a few moments later.

"I figured you might want to be relatively clean for your stay here," he shrugged.

I looked in the bag to find a toothbrush, toothpaste, a package of floss, and deodorant. A smile lit my face as I once again noted how considerate he was. I thanked him and, after finishing my breakfast, went off to the bathroom he directed me to for some much needed morning hygiene.

About halfway through a shower, I realized that I didn't have any clothes to change into. I sighed and, when finished, slipped back into Axel's pajama bottoms. I hoped when I went home, I could slide into my room before my father saw me in some other person's pants. That would certainly raise some awkward questions. I just wondered how I would get through the door without being spotted by my parents. Hopefully if he just knows I'm home, he'll calm down enough to actually talk to me instead of the scream-fest I know would be coming as soon as I walked through that door.

I sighed again and went to find Axel in the living room. He was sitting cross-legged on the couch, petting Freckles. He looked very somber, his face showing a mix of sorrow and anger.

"What's wrong?" I asked him, moving around to the front of the couch, sitting on the opposite end.

He jumped when he heard me, but his face immediately brightened as he said, "Nothing's wrong. Just thinking."

"About?" I asked, curious.

He gulped and said, "I don't want to bring it up."

"Is it about what happened to me?" I asked, tense.

He paused, then slowly nodded.

I pulled my legs up, curling my arms around them, hissing when the motion jarred my ribs again.

"Hang on," he said, jumping up and dashing out of the room. He came back a couple minutes later with a roll of pinkish brown fabric in his hands. "Let me take care of those ribs."

He gently released my hold on my legs and told me to lean forward slightly so he could reach around me. I did as he told me, but before he did anything, he asked, "Is it okay to touch you?"

I nodded my consent and allowed him to wrap the bandage around me. It was tight, but not uncomfortably so, and I'd be lying if I said I didn't enjoy the warm feeling of his hands on my skin. I almost whimpered when he pinned the end of the bandage and pulled away from me, but I managed to pass it off as pain.

"All done," he said, a tone in his voice that I could not recognize.

"Thank you," I said, tearing my eyes away from him.

We sat a moment in silence before I asked, "So did you want to ask me something?"

"Uh..." he said, averting his eyes.

"It's okay," I said, just wanting to get this conversation over with.

"Right," he answered. He took a deep breath, then said, "Well, I just wanted to know... Did those boys... How far did... um..." He sighed and finally blurted, "Did they rape you?"

Already tense, I drew my knees up again and rested my head on them as I answered, "Only one of them did anything like that and he didn't do much more than touch me."

I heard his relieved sigh before he asked, "So he didn't.. uh..."

"He didn't take me," I answered, saving Axel some blabbering.

"Well that's a relief," he said, a bit shakily. "You have no idea how scared I was when I found you, Roxas. Not that what he did to you wasn't bad, but it could have been a lot worse."

Sensing the beginning of a rant, I said, "I should go home before my dad has a fit."

He sighed, running his fingers through his hair as he said, "Yeah... I'll take you, then."

After a brief pause, we stood almost simultaneously and he led me out to his car. I hesitated a moment, looking back at his magnificent home before finally sliding a bit ungracefully into his car. With a very heavy heart, I rode away from Axel's residence towards my own.

**A/N: Yes, Freckles is my cat. I figured he'd be a great companion for Axel, so I let him borrow him. xD I have more on the way. I have it all planned out in my head, I just have to write it. Thanks for reading. Please review!**


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary**: The bullying that has haunted Roxas for years just became worse. After enduring a very tough break-up with Hayner, the whole school *mysteriously* finds out that he's gay. Will Axel be able to stop Roxas from harming himself when things just get too much to take? Akuroku. **Warning**: Involves physical/sexual abuse.

_(This chapter involves physical abuse and mentions of sexual.)_

**Disclaimer**: I own nothing but the storyline!

* * *

My heart jumped into my throat when Axel pulled up in front of my house. My father came out of the house and stood at the top of the steps, his arms folded across his chest, when he saw the car pull up. So much for trying to sneak past him. I turned to Axel, a worried look on my face, before glancing back up at my father and saying, "Okay... I should go now."

"You know where to find me if you need anything," Axel said, trying to hide the concern in his eyes.

"Yeah," I said, nodding while trying to ignore my father's glare. I took a deep breath and paused before getting out of the car.

I couldn't bring myself to meet my father's gaze as I trudged toward the house.

"Dad..." I said as I stood at the bottom of the stairs.

He said nothing in return, he simply motioned for me to follow him then turned and went inside. I sighed, hesitating for a moment. I could tell he was angry and I had been hoping to be able to hide from him in my room for a few hours until he calmed down, but that was obviously not going to happen. Reluctantly, I followed him into the house.

"Close the door," he said, his voice flat, betraying no emotion. I did as I was told.

"Dad," I said, turning around to face my father, trying to come up with words that would explain why I didn't come home from school yesterday.

I was met with a sharp slap in the face.

"Slut!" he said, slapping me again.

"Dad, stop!" I shouted, raising my arms to cover my face.

My father reached down, one hand grabbing one of my arms and twisting it behind my back and the other hand squeezing my throat.

"When you were born," he said, pushing my head back and forcing me to look at him, "I was so happy. I'd got the son I'd always wanted. But now I see I was wrong." His grip tightened on my throat, cutting off the circulation to my brain and blocking my airway. "You're not my son. You're just a little bitch!"

I clawed at the hand around my throat, desperate for air. He finally had enough and threw me down, my head slamming into the leg of a nearby table.

I screamed from the pain before I managed to say, "I'm not a girl. You should know that by now, you perverted son-of-a-b-" His fist barreled into my face, cutting off my words.

He raised his hand to strike me again, but before I could even instinctively cover my face, someone caught his raised arm. He barely had time to react before he caved under the force of a fist.

"Goddamn son-of-a-whore!" my father roared, anger and surprise clear on his face as he pulled himself off the floor.

"If you ever touch him again," Axel said, grabbing a fistful of my father's shirt, "I will personally see to it that you spend the rest of your miserable life behind bars!"

"Axel!" I shouted, registering what was happening for the first time.

"Go to the car, Roxas," he said, his voice gentle, but riddled with fury as he spoke to me.

I was about to rush out of the room, but my father's voice made me pause, "If you walk out that door, don't you dare think about coming back!"

"Why would I come back?" I asked, surprisingly calm. I turned to look at him, "So I can live under your hand for the rest of my youthful life, enduring your words and the pain of your whims?"

"Where would you go?" he asked with a smile, wiping the blood away from his mouth. "Who would take in a pitiful whore like you?"

Axel spun in a blur, his foot connecting with my father's chin, sending him flying a good seven or eight feet, once again sprawled on the floor. My father made an unpleasant strangled sound when Axel placed that same foot on his neck, holding him to the floor.

"You will take back those words," Axel said, enunciating every word with a very dangerous tone to his voice. And was it just me, or was it suddenly becoming increasingly warm?

"I know where he was last night," he replied, his voice compressed by the weight of Axel's foot. "How much did you pay him to fuck you?"

Axel's fingertips twitched, slowly being clenched into shaking fists. The heat in the room was steadily rising now, becoming almost unbearable. Axel seemed to be the only one not sweating.

Before I knew what had happened, my father let out a shriek unlike anything I'd ever heard out of his mouth before. My jaw dropped when I saw that Axel's foot had moved from my father's neck and was now crushing his groin. Something was rising from where his foot made contact. Was that... smoke?

"You don't deserve the ability to use this," he said, his voice low and dangerous. "Scum like you shouldn't be able to father children," he said, now taking on a menacingly dark tone. "How you ever managed to produce one so perfect, I'll never know, but I'll make sure you can't do it again."

My father wailed when Axel removed his foot. The crotch of his jeans was completely black. It almost looked... burnt.

Axel took my hand as he was about to make his way out the door, but my father's painfully trembling voice stopped him, "If I see either of you on my property again, I'll call the cops, you hear?"

Axel paused before saying, quite calmly, "And then I'll call them right back. Do you have any idea what they do to child molesters in prison?"

He didn't wait for a response before going back outside to his car, with me in tow. I was acutely aware of the warm sensation Axel's hand sent almost all the way up my arm. I definitely noticed how it faded when he let go (after opening the passenger door for me, I might add). As soon as we were both securely in the car, he drove off in the direction of his home without another word.

* * *

**A/N: I wasn't quite sure where to go with this chapter, so I decided just to go with what I'd originally planned. Sorry it was so short. This seemed like the best place to cut it. Thanks for reading. Please review! :)**


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary**: The bullying that has haunted Roxas for years just became worse. After enduring a very tough break-up with Hayner, the whole school *mysteriously* finds out that he's gay. Will Axel be able to stop Roxas from harming himself when things just get too much to take? Akuroku. **Warning**: Involves physical/sexual abuse.

**Disclaimer**: I own nothing but the storyline!

* * *

After arriving back at Axel's house, we sat silently in the car for a while. I could tell that he was still fuming about what had happened.

"Are you-" I began, but he cut me off.

"Just give me a minute to calm down." His hands gripped the steering wheel, his knuckles turning white, and he audibly grit his teeth.

A while later, after several deep breaths on his part, he sighed and placed his forehead against the steering wheel.

After another moment of silence, just to break it, I said, "Where'd you learn to fight like that?"

"I just picked it up," he said with a slight smirk. After another sigh, "Sorry for blowing up like that."

"It's alright," I said. "Thanks actually, but why did you stay?"

He shrugged. "I figured something like that might happen, so I stayed just to make sure you got in safely. Then I heard you scream..." His grip tightened on the wheel again before he continued, "When I saw what that... what he was doing to you, I couldn't stop myself. And then he called you a whore..." I thought I smelled burning rubber, but it soon vanished.

"How did you know?" I asked, disregarding the oddity.

"Know what?" he asked, glancing over at me.

"That my father molested me," I answered quietly, instinctively wrapping my arms around myself.

"You just told me," he said with a grimace that he tried to pass off as a smirk.

I winced. "So you just assumed...?"

He looked straight ahead as he said, "I figured it was a safe assumption. Looks like I was right... Fancy that."

"It only happened a few times," I said, trying to still the surfacing memories. "When I was younger." I thought I saw Axel twitch out of the corner of my eye, but when I looked he was perfectly still. "My mother caught on to what was happening... well... walked in on what was happening. She put a stop to it real quick. That was about when he started beating me."

"Son of a bitch..." he breathed.

"Actually, my grandmother was really sweet. I only saw her once or twice that I can remember before she died but..."

"Sorry," he said with a small chuckle. "Slipped out. But I swear if he ever touches you again, I'll leave him in the dark before karma can spit."

Before I could ask what he meant, his phone began to vibrate in his pocket. He took it out and flipped it open, eyes narrowing when he saw the name on the Caller ID. He answered the call, his voice flat and calm.

"What do you want?" I could hear the slightly amused voice on the other end of the line, but I couldn't make out what it was saying. "I was under the impression that it was already settled." I could tell the voice was male, but I still couldn't quite understand it. "Why?" I could barely make out any sound from the other end. With a sigh, "Fine. When and where?" The voice was louder this time. I thought I heard, "collect you," but I couldn't be certain. "Out of the question. If this is going down, it'll happen on my terms, not yours, and not his." I heard more mumbling, then laughter. "Always a pleasure doing business with you. We'll chat later." He hung up. When he met my curious stare, he said, "Old friend."

"Oh," I said, looking around and wondering where to go from here.

"Well, I guess you can literally make yourself at home now," Axel said with a shrug. "I'll go this afternoon and swipe some of your clothes, unless you just want me to buy you a new wardrobe. I won't mind doing either."

I gulped, "You're actually letting me stay?"

"Of course," he said, looking at me as if I shouldn't have expected otherwise. "I've got plenty of space here, too much really, just for myself and Freckles. You won't take a toll on my financial situation, of course, and I'll be glad of the company. Besides, there's no way I'd let you go back _there_."

"Uh..." I said, not really knowing how to react. "Thank you... so much." I paused, then added, "Though I'd prefer you didn't go back there either."

"No problem at all. For the time being, you can borrow some of my clothes. I'll stop somewhere later and pick up something more suitable for your..." he looked me over, "height."

_A very polite way to crack a short joke_, I thought with a grin. "Thanks," I said stupidly. This was all such a shocking change. I'd barely registered the fact that I'd been told never to return to my house, and now I was living with Axel. For the moment, it seemed less of a loss and more of... an upgrade.

"Well, you just make yourself at home," Axel said again, opening his door. "Let it sink in and come on in whenever you feel ready. I'll go get started on getting you settled in."

"Okay," I said blankly as Axel flashed me a smile and went inside.

Beside me, his phone vibrated twice, a signal that he'd received a new text message. Unable to hold back my curiosity any longer, I reached for the phone. Thankfully, there was no pop-up message I'd have to go through that would give away my presence. I quickly checked his call-log for the last incoming call. There was no name, or even a phone number, just the roman numeral "VII." That didn't satisfy my curiosity at all; it only piqued it more. I quickly returned to the home menu and placed the phone back in the exact position it had been in. I paused, about to get out of the car, and decided it would be appropriate to bring Axel his phone (not that I was paranoid he'd check it for fingerprints or anything).

I found him in the kitchen, leaning over a screaming kettle.

"Hey," he said, taking the kettle off the heat, silencing its cry. "Making tea," he said, pointing to the pot.

"Oh," I said with a small smile. "You left your phone in the car." I held it out to him.

"Thanks," he said, flipping it open and frowning. My heart sped up for a moment before he said, "Looks like Demyx sent me a message." He read it quickly, his eyes widening a bit and his mouth forming a hard line as he replied just as quickly and snapped his phone shut.

"Something wrong?" I asked.

He perked up, smiled, and said, "Not at all." He pressed his lips together, trying unsuccessfully to hide the worry on his face. I wanted to know what was wrong and if there was any way that I could help him, but I didn't pry.

He sighed and ran his fingers through his messily spiked hair. "How about that tea?" he asked, absentmindedly pouring the boiling water over the tea bag in his cup.

Before I could stop him, the water spilled over onto the hand that was gripping the cup. He didn't even seem to care. He simply set the kettle aside and shook his hand, reaching for a towel to wipe the spilled water off the counter top. That didn't make sense to me. The water had just reached boiling not one minute ago. There was no possible way it could have cooled this soon.

When he handed me my cup, I tested the temperature with my little finger. I hissed when my skin made contact with the scalding water and watched, amazed, when Axel nonchalantly took a sip of his tea and smiled. There was no possible way that I could drink the stuff without burning my throat, so how could he? Our water had come from the same pot; I had watched him pour it.

When I asked him about it, he looked from me to his cup of tea, his eyes going wide for a fraction of a second before he simply shrugged and replied, "I like hot tea."

I was about to inquire further when his phone vibrated again. He picked it up, flipped it open, and closed his eyes after reading the text.

After replying, he flipped his phone shut and said, "I have to go out for a while. I left a change of clothes for you on the couch."

"Thanks," I said, biting back my curiosity this time. "When will you be back?"

"I don't know," he admitted. "I have to help a friend with something for a while. Then I'll stop by a few places and pick up some new clothes for you. I shouldn't be too long. Feel free to do whatever you'd like while I'm gone. Mi casa es su casa."

"Okay," I said. "Thanks."

"You betcha," he said as he made his way out, leaving his unfinished tea on the counter.

As I heard him pull away, I dipped the tip of a finger into his cup. It was just as hot as mine, and would certainly have scorched my throat had I tried to drink it. Yet, he had been able to down almost half of it without so much as a wince. Huh...

* * *

**A/N: So Roxas is beginning to notice some strange things going on with Axel. And what's he really stepping out for? What's he hiding? And how will Roxas vent all this emotion? Hmm... Questions, questions. ;) Thanks for reading. Please review! :)**


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary**: The bullying that has haunted Roxas for years just became worse. After enduring a very tough break-up with Hayner, the whole school *mysteriously* finds out that he's gay. Will Axel be able to stop Roxas from harming himself when things just get too much to take? Akuroku. **Warning**: Involves physical/sexual abuse.

**Disclaimer**: I own nothing but the storyline!

* * *

After coming to the conclusion that Axel was right about having way too much space, I quickly became bored of exploring. I had come across a few locked doors that had made me just a bit curious, a game room that had held my interest for about half an hour, and an extensive collection of books tucked away in a room that couldn't quite have been called a library. I'd admit that I had stayed in that room quite a while looking through everything, but I didn't want to rummage too much without asking first. There was also a pool just out the back door, but I wasn't in the mood or the condition to swim. Other than that, there wasn't much to do but watch TV, which I'd tried and, after finding nothing that held my interest for very long other than some documentary about teaching monkeys to talk, I once again became quite bored. The fact that Axel's pants were about a foot too long and refused to stay up without constant tugging also made wandering almost dangerous.

So there I was, spread out on the couch with nothing to do but give constant attention to a furry head that kept prodding at my dangling hand, trying to suppress my thoughts. Why did Axel have to leave me alone at this point? The last thing I needed right now was to be left alone with my thoughts. As much as I tried to stop myself, I kept going through an ingrained list of events over and over in my head.

Hayner left me. Hayner left me on our anniversary (which he either forgot or sadistically decided to abuse). Everyone at school knew I was gay. Everyone either hated me or was too scared to associate with me (except for a very significant redhead who must have been insane). I had been sexually assaulted in the locker room. ...Hayner never loved me. Hayner was going to hurt Olette. My father only cared about his whims. I'd been kicked out of my house. Everyone hated me. I was alone. Hayner never loved me. I was alone. Hayner hates me. I was alone. Axel left me alone. I'm crying again.

I curled up on the couch, trying to resist the urge to hurt myself, and let the tears fall freely. I felt so weak. I shouldn't have been crying like this. Crying never solved anything. Crying wouldn't make anything better. It wouldn't reverse time and take back everything that had happened to me. It wouldn't make my father, or Hayner, care about me. It wouldn't change those boys' minds about cornering me in the locker room. It wouldn't make me change my mind about wanting to just disappear. It wouldn't do anything but leave me with red, puffy eyes, a stuffed up nose, and a sore throat.

Before I could stop myself, I raised my wrist to my mouth and bit down as forcefully as I could. I felt the surge of pain register in my brain as my veins and tendons rolled around under the pressure of my teeth. I tried to concentrate on that. I let go and bit down again in the same spot, faintly aware of the coppery taste of blood in my mouth. More and more began to surge with every ragged beat of my heart as I increased force. I knew I had to stop before I tore my arteries open. I tried to make myself care that if I didn't let go I might break a vessel and die before I could stop the bleeding, but at that moment, I really didn't care that I might have died. Maybe I even wanted to.

Then a thought crossed my mind. How would Axel react when he came home to find me dead from bleeding out on his couch? After all he'd done for me, he deserved better thanks than that. How would he feel if, after all he'd done, it wasn't enough to help me?

Axel hadn't left me alone on purpose. He would be coming back. Axel knew I was gay, and didn't mind at all. Axel didn't hate me, and he wasn't afraid to help me. Axel found me, and helped me, after the locker room and he saved me from my father. He had taken me in when I'd been kicked out. He was being completely selfless in his attempts to help me. I wasn't alone.

Axel didn't want me to die.

I dropped my wrist and inspected the damage. I was bleeding pretty badly, but it wasn't enough to kill me. I hadn't broken an artery or any major vessels, but I still needed to stop the bleeding. I dashed into the kitchen and ran water over my wound. The blood kept welling up. I grabbed the nearest towel and held it to my damaged wrist, trying to keep adequate pressure.

I kept my thoughts on Axel. At least something good came out of my other situations. If none of that had happened to me, I never would have met Axel. If I hadn't been humiliated that morning in the lunch room, if I hadn't been hiding under the library stairs, he probably would never have taken an interest in me. If nothing horrible had happened, I probably would have just gone on about my life without so much as a second glance from the redhead. If my father hadn't abused me, if he hadn't kicked me out of the house, I wouldn't have been living here now. I re-tallied my list.

Bad things: too many to properly count. Good things: Axel.

I smiled.

Then I heard a familiar car pull into the driveway. My heart skipped a beat, then sped up (which wasn't very good for stopping blood flow). I couldn't let him see me like this. I tried to run out of the kitchen toward my room, but tripped on the hem of Axel's pants as I did so. Axel came in the door a few minutes later, carrying at least five or six bags. I scrambled to my feet in an effort to retain at least some trace of dignity.

He noticed me and, at first, smiled. Then he took in my appearance and his smile turned to a worried frown.

"What's wrong?" he asked, dumping the bags next to the door and rushing over to me.

I didn't say anything. He looked down to where I was holding the dish towel to my wrist, then up at my face. I couldn't hold his gaze.

"Roxas?" he asked, putting his hand over mine, but making no move to force the towel away.

I closed my eyes and slowly held out my still bleeding wrist. His breath caught and he gently took my wrist in his hands. He looked up at me, but I still didn't meet his eyes.

"I'm sorry," I breathed.

He took the towel from me and pressed it to the wound before saying, "Come on. We should take care of this properly."

Before I could ask what he meant, he was towing me toward the stairs on the other side of the hallway leading to my room, always being sure to keep enough pressure on my wound. He led me into what I assumed was his bathroom. It was certainly much larger than mine.

He rummaged through the cabinets under the sink for a while, placing various items on the counter and coming up with a first-aid kit. Only then did he remove the towel from my wrist, inspecting it closely. It wasn't bleeding as fiercely, no longer spilling over the sides of my wrist, but it still pooled in the wound.

"You certainly did some damage," he noted, soaking a gauze pad with hydrogen peroxide. "This will sting a little."

I nodded, wincing as he began cleaning the injury. It did sting, but it wasn't unbearable. I actually found the cold, tingly sensation to be somewhat pleasant. I watched as he spread some type of antibiotic ointment onto another gauze pad and secured it to my wrist with surgical tape. Over that, he placed another layer of gauze, this time from a roll.

When he was finished, he placed his hand over the bandage and said, "I'm sorry I was gone so long."

My heart sank when I took in how incredibly sad he sounded. "It wasn't your fault," I said, lowering my gaze to where he held my arm. His thumb trailed over one of the still-visible scars from where I'd cut myself last year. Then, wide-eyed, I watched as he lifted my wrist to his lips and planted a kiss on top of the bandage.

"All better," he whispered, lifting his eyes to meet mine. "I've already come to the conclusion that it's incredibly dangerous to let you out of my sight. Don't make it impossible. Please don't to this again."

I sucked in a shallow breath as I replied, "I won't."

He smiled and said, "Great. Come on, then. I got you some clothes that I think will fit you much better than mine."

I let him lead me back downstairs to the pile of bags that he had left my the front door. I thanked him when he handed me everything he'd bought for me and headed down to my room to change.

A few minutes later, I emerged from my room wearing much better-fitting clothes and a slight blush. Axel was sprawled out on the couch eating Doritos, watching Freckles bat one of the chips around on the floor. He smiled and made room on the couch when he saw me.

"Thank you," I said as I sat down on the opposite end.

"Don't mention it," he shrugged. "You needed new clothes anyway."

"No I mean..." I said, feeling tears welling up in my eyes as I tried to express my gratitude. "Thank you for everything. You've been so nice to me... and you've done so much for me... There's no way I could possibly thank you enough."

I started to choke up. Noticing, Axel slid down to my end of the couch and laid his hand on my shoulder. On impulse, I leaned into him. He stiffened at first, then relaxed and put his arms around me, not even caring that I was ruining his shirt with salt water.

"It's okay," he said softly, smoothing my hair. "Let it out."

It felt good being held by Axel. It felt safe. After a while, I stopped crying and just let him hold me. He didn't seem to mind, so I didn't feel the need to leave his embrace. We stayed like that until I drifted off to sleep.

* * *

**A/N: Thanks so much for all the wonderful reviews I've gotten! People like my writing. o.O Anyway, I wanted to throw you guys an idea my friend/editor came up with and I thought would just be great. How's about I write this story in Axel's POV (after I'm done with the original, of course)? It would repeat a lot of the same stuff (duh) but it would shed some light on a few things and you'd be getting Axel's side of the story. If people seem to like the idea, I'll run with it! Thanks for reading. Please review! :)**


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary**: The bullying that has haunted Roxas for years just became worse. After enduring a very tough break-up with Hayner, the whole school *mysteriously* finds out that he's gay. Will Axel be able to stop Roxas from harming himself when things just get too much to take? Akuroku. **Warning**: Involves physical/sexual abuse.

**Disclaimer**: I own nothing but the storyline!

* * *

I woke up in what was now my bed, heart pounding erratically. I didn't remember what I had dreamed, but it had been enough to wake me from a sound sleep. Something about crows? Sighing, I turned over and tried to go back to sleep. After a few minutes of tossing and turning, I gave up and went into the bathroom.

I was shocked at my reflection in the mirror when I turned the light on. I didn't look at all like myself. I ran my hand along the tender bruise that decorated my jaw, letting my fingers trail down to my neck. My father had left finger marks on my throat. I fitted my fingers to the marks, almost beginning to cry again. I gulped and let my hand move down to my chest. I lifted my shirt to look at my torso. My ribs were mostly covered by the bandage Axel had given me, but I could see the bruises that dotted my abdomen. I didn't want to think about what it looked like under the bandage. I allowed my hand to trace my spine, wincing when my fingers grazed several bruises. I didn't even want to look at my back for fear of what I would find there.

I looked at my face again. Faint, darkening circles were present under my eyes, but neither of them were really bruised, and I looked unhealthily pale. I had been sleeping more than usual, but it didn't seem to be doing me any good. Despite the hours, I still woke up exhausted. I looked like such a ragged mess that it was a wonder I hadn't fallen completely apart.

I left the bathroom, unable to look at myself any longer, and wandered outside. It was a clear night, with no clouds and no moon. The only light came from the pool area. I decided I didn't have anything better to do, so I went over to sit by the pool.

It was maybe 24X14 feet and became steadily deeper the farther along it went. The far end was twelve feet deep. There were round lights along the sides of the pool and I briefly wondered if Axel kept the lights on every night. There were a few chairs scattered around the concrete area around the pool. The entire area was very well kept.

I sat at the edge of the pool, rolled up the legs of my pants a bit, and dangled my feet in the water. It was cold, but not overly so. Smiling, I laid back and looked up at the magnificent night sky. The light from the pool wasn't too strong, so I could see a great many stars. I'd always enjoyed watching the stars, but I hadn't really had very many good opportunities to do so. I took the opportunity. I relaxed and, just for a moment, let all my worries slip away.

I don't know how long I laid there before I heard, "What are you doing out here all alone in the middle of the night?"

I hastily stood, almost tripping into the pool, and said, "Axel... hey."

He chuckled at that, coming through the gate to join me at the pool's edge. "You should be more careful," he said. "Wouldn't want to slip on this concrete."

I laughed nervously and said, "It'll just add to the collection of bruises."

At that, Axel closed his eyes and replied, "I swear, if I see anything else damage you, I'll probably have a stroke." He lightly picked up my left hand, frowning at the bandage on my wrist. "You're too good for scars."

I pulled my hand away from him and said, mostly to myself, "...I deserve them."

"You don't see yourself clearly at all, do you?" he asked, staring at the water. He looked up at me before saying, "You're certainly the best thing that's happened to me in a while."

His comment made me blush and I quickly turned away, trying to hide my face.

He laughed and said, "You're cute when you blush."

"Stop," I said, his words only making me blush more.

He laughed again, moving closer to me and said, "Don't be embarrassed."

His fingers brushed my chin. My heart was beating too fast for me to catch up. He was there, and he was touching me. I panicked and pushed him into the pool, my eyes widening as he somehow managed to be surprised and laugh at the same time he was falling. I took a deep breath and waited for him to surface.

When he didn't, I started to panic again. What if he had hit his head on the bottom or something? Had I hurt him?

I leaned over the side of the pool and when I couldn't see him said, "Axel?"

His head popped up right in front of me and he spit a stream of pool water in my general direction before grabbing my unbandaged arm and pulling me headfirst into the pool. I was too shocked to do anything at first, but when I surfaced, he was laughing hysterically.

"The look on your face," he said through his laughter. "Priceless."

I was angry at first, but I couldn't stay mad when I saw him laughing. After a while, I joined in, splashing him with water in a very childish way.

"That's not funny," I said, laughing almost as much as he was.

"Then why are you laughing?" he asked, flinging water back at me.

"Because it's funny," I said, trying to calm my giggling.

"You started it," he pointed out, poking me under my collarbones.

I sobered very quickly when I remembered that I had pushed him into the pool first. My cheeks flushed a little when I thought about why.

He must have seen the look on my face, because he stopped laughing and said, "I'm sorry, Roxas. I shouldn't have said anything."

"No, it's okay," I said, raising my hands. "I don't mind."

He smiled, tentatively picking up my bandaged hand. "I'll have to replace this," he said, looking it over.

I nodded and said, "Chlorine probably isn't good for an open wound."

"It won't bother it much as long as you wash it," he said. "It's actually very clean."

He stroked my hand with his thumb as he said, "I shouldn't have left you alone. I knew you had to be in pain..."

I closed my eyes and said, "That's the first time I've hurt myself in quite a while. I won't do it again."

"How do you know?" he asked, closing his hands around mine. "How do you know you won't feel something like that again? I don't want to leave you alone if you're having thoughts like this." He nodded at my wrist.

"I won't, Axel," I said, not wanting to admit why.

"How do you know for sure?" he asked, his grip tightening on my hand.

I sighed and said, "Because if I hurt myself... I would be hurting you. Thinking about you... that's what made me stop. I thought about how you've helped me when no one else would. You took me in, and saved me more often than you realize. What kind of thanks would it be if I had died today? What made me stop... I thought about how you would react, how you would feel, if you came home to find me dead. I thought about how it would probably hurt you to know that nothing you did mattered in the end. And it does matter, Axel. It does."

He was watching me in wonder as I said this, never taking his eyes off of me. He moved his hand so that his fingers intertwined with mine. I didn't stop him.

"I'm glad I matter to you, Roxas," he said, his voice quiet, but intense. "You certainly matter to me."

He curled the forefinger of his other hand under my chin, placing his thumb just below my bottom lip, and lifted my head toward him. He leaned toward me, a sparkle in his eye, and I realized that he was going to kiss me. He left about an inch of distance between his lips and mine and I understood that he was waiting for me to make the final decision.

After a moment's hesitation, I closed the rest of the distance between us and pressed my lips to his. Our hands trailed in the water as he eagerly returned my kiss. His free hand moved to the small of my back, pulling me closer to him as he deepened the kiss. I cracked my lips and he took the invitation, our tongues circling each other as I clung to him.

Axel's head moved down to nuzzle my neck and I gasped as he gently bit my pulse point. I stiffened, unwanted memories flooding back to the surface. Axel stopped and pulled back to look at me.

I couldn't meet his gaze. My voice broke as I said, "I can't..."

I pulled away from him suddenly, climbing out of the pool by way of a nearby ladder, and rushed as quickly as I could into the house, not caring that I was dripping wet and tracking water all the way to the bathroom. I locked the door behind me before promptly bursting into tears.

Not bothering to try to compose myself first, I stripped and showered, the hot water at least doing something to calm my nerves. Why did I have to ruin everything? I glanced at the bandage on my wrist and tore it off easily. The wound underneath was still sore and not quite closed, but it was beginning to heal. I touched the bandage on my ribs. I would have to ask Axel to rebandage them later... if he ever wanted to talk to me again.

When I got out of the shower, I was glad to discover that I had left Axel's jeans on the floor. Once dry, I slipped into them and cracked the bathroom door, hoping not to bring attention to myself.

Those thoughts were quickly squashed when I saw Axel, dry and changed, sitting across the hall. His hair wasn't spiked like it normally was. It hung straight and loose around his shoulders and slightly down his back. His face was blank as I came out of the bathroom. I met his gaze and held it for a few seconds before looking away. He was trying to keep the emotion out of his eyes, but I could see it. I didn't want to have this confrontation right now.

"Roxas..." he said, his voice little more than a whisper. "Did I hurt you?"

I didn't answer.

"I'm sorry if I did," he continued. "What I did tonight... that was wrong. I shouldn't have kissed you when I knew you wouldn't be ready for something like that."

"Excuse me," I said, hurrying to my room while trying not to trip on Axel's pants.

Before he could say anything else, I had already shut the door. I turned my back on it and slid down to sit against it. I could hear him do the same on the other side.

"I know you can hear me," he said through the door. "I'll be right here when you're ready to talk."

* * *

**A/N: Don't kill me. I'm working on the next chapter as we speak, and I'll have it up soon. Thanks for reading. Please review! :)**


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary**: The bullying that has haunted Roxas for years just became worse. After enduring a very tough break-up with Hayner, the whole school *mysteriously* finds out that he's gay. Will Axel be able to stop Roxas from harming himself when things just get too much to take? Akuroku. **Warning**: Involves physical/sexual abuse.

**Disclaimer**: I own nothing but the storyline!

* * *

I couldn't hear him anymore, but I knew he was still sitting on the other side of the door. I could feel him there. I could feel his warmth pressed against the door. If I was very still and held my breath, I could almost feel his heartbeat through the wood. He was still waiting for me.

Through the French doors, I could see the night becoming lighter. It would be dawn soon. Neither of us had moved in hours. I had cried silent tears for a while after closing the door, never allowing myself to make any sound. I didn't want him to hear me. I didn't want him to wait for me. It would have been better if he had just yelled at me for running away like I had, but I knew he wouldn't do that. He probably wasn't even angry at me. He probably wasn't even disappointed, even though he had the right to be.

He'd asked me if he'd hurt me, but I was the one who had hurt him. He'd probably wanted to kiss me for a while, and I'd ruined it. Yet, he was out there most likely feeling guilty about it right now and I was just in here hiding from him, making him feel worse. I had to tell him it wasn't his fault.

I pulled myself off the floor, muscles aching and bones popping. I scraped the door as I moved my hand to the doorknob. I heard Axel stir on the other side of the door. When I tightened my grip on the knob, the sound the metal made seemed to echo through the room.

I could hear Axel clearly when he stood and pressed a hand against the door. "Roxas?" he called quietly.

"I'm gonna come out now," I said, my voice hoarse.

I kept my gaze on the floor as I opened the door, not wanting to meet the eyes I could feel searching my face, not wanting to confront him at all. Slowly, still with my eyes on the floor, I trudged out of my room, closing the door behind me.

"Roxas," Axel said, reaching out to me, but not coming close to touching me. I closed my eyes. "Roxas, look at me." I could clearly make out the pleading tone in his voice. I thought I even heard that voice, that perfect voice, crack a bit when he said my name.

I gradually brought my eyes to his, surprised to find them red and puffy. Axel had been crying. The realization that I had, indeed, hurt him caused bile to rise in my throat.

I gulped it down before saying, "I'm sorry."

He scrunched his eyebrows as he said, "For what?"

"For running out on you like that," I said, looking away from him again. _And for making you cry._

"Roxas," he said, his voice gentle again. "You had the right to be emotionally distraught. You were in pain, and I shouldn't have approached you like that. The last thing I wanted was to hurt you, and that's what I did." His voice actually did crack on the last sentence, sending my heart into the pit of my stomach.

"You didn't hurt me, Axel," I said, meeting his eyes again. He wasn't looking at me this time.

"I shouldn't have kissed you," he said, clenching his eyes shut.

"As I recall, I kissed you," I pointed out.

"You did," he said. "But I initiated it. I made you feel like you didn't have a choice."

"Axel, I-"

If you didn't want to kiss me, you could have backed away."

"Axel," I tried again.

I shouldn't have-"

"Axel!" I shouted, reaching out to lay my hand on his arm.

He looked at my hand, then, puzzled, into my eyes.

"I wanted to kiss you," I assured him.

"Then..." he said, trying to make sense of what I'd just admitted. "Why...?"

I winced, not wanting to tell him why I ran, but knowing that I had to to make him understand. "You bit my neck." I closed my eyes and took a deep breath before saying, "My father does... did... that. Even after he stopped molesting me. It was his way of letting me know that I was his. It just brought up the memories when you did it."

"I'm sorry," he said. "I didn't know. I won't do it again."

"I'm sorry for overreacting like I did," I said, taking another deep breath. "I must have made you feel so..."

Before I could apologize again, Axel pulled me into a fierce hug and said, "I thought I did something horrible that hurt you. I'm just glad you're alright."

I returned the hug with a smile saying, "I am now."

He chuckled.

"What's funny?" I asked.

"Nothing," he said. Then, "I just would have loved to see the look on your father's face when he found out you were dating Hayner."

I stiffened. Noticing, Axel loosened his hold and pulled back, inspecting my face.

"Sorry," I said, relaxing a bit. "I'm fine. I don't think my father knew I was seeing someone. If he had..." I shuddered.

"Well," he said, "I'd bet he'd be pissed to know you didn't belong to him at all."

I pulled away from him and he released me without hesitation. "Hayner and I never... We didn't..."

"Oh," he said, somewhat surprised. "I'm sorry, I just assumed... My bad."

"It's okay," I said, not really wanting to discuss my lack of a sex life with Axel.

There was a bit of an awkward silence before Axel said, "So... do you want to go to school or wait another day or two?"

"I should go, but..." I said, biting my lip.

"It's okay to skip a few days," he said. "I'll make you something to eat. You look famished." He looked me over once more before saying, "Then I'll replace those bandages." He chuckled a bit before continuing, "If you're not more careful, you'll end up using all of my medical supplies."

I giggled nervously as I followed him into the kitchen. He gestured for me to pull a stool up to the counter. I did, watching him scowl at his fridge.

"Do you have any idea how difficult it is to make a decent breakfast while avoiding meat, eggs, and all dairy products?"

"Sorry," I said, biting my lip.

He waved my apology away as he said, "It's alright. That makes it challenging." He tilted his head to look at me, a small smile on his face as he said, "I like a challenge." He looked back at his fridge, then to me and said, "Though I'll probably have to stock up on soy products."

I ended up getting dry cereal, apple juice, and half an orange. I didn't complain. I hadn't expected Axel to be able to produce anything special for breakfast. I didn't really want him to make me anything special. Cereal was great, even when dry, considering I usually got my first meal from school. I thanked him and tried not to wolf down the food to fast. It was true that I was almost starving. I'd been sleeping a lot lately, even though it wasn't helping much at all, and hadn't really gotten in much to eat.

After showering, I let Axel replace the bandages. My ribs were still very tender and looked worse today than they had before. I was glad to have them covered. I heard Axel sigh at least twice as he was tending to my wounds.

Just as he finished bandaging my wrist again, his phone started vibrating. He fished it carefully out of his pocket and flipped it open. Seeing the name, he drew his lips together before setting it aside on the counter and letting it ring without answering it. He seemed relieved when it stopped, but tensed up again when it began to vibrate again. After the third call, the phone beeped twice, indicating that Axel had received a voicemail.

He picked it up, looking as though he wanted to flush the foul thing down the toilet, and slid it into his pocket. When he saw my inquisitive look, he muttered something about not wanting to deal with idiots before running a finger through his (still not spiked) hair. He stopped with his hand in his hair, bringing a strand of it out so he could see it, and glanced at the cabinet under the sink.

"I kinda like it like that," I said with a smile. "You don't have to spike it all the time do you?"

He shrugged and said, "I'm used to it that way. I just didn't bother to fix it because..." He glanced over at me.

"I'm sorry I had you so worried about me," I said. "But I'm fine now. I just hid because I thought you'd be mad at me."

He lifted his hand to my face and lightly traced the side that wasn't bruised. "I could never be mad at you," he said. His fingers traced my jaw, trailing down to my neck, gently grazing the finger marks my father had left there before coming to rest over my heart. "Is this okay?" he asked, keeping his hand over my heart.

I nodded, placing my hand over his. "It's alright to touch my neck," I said, enjoying the warmth of his touch. "Just don't bite it."

His eyes took on a mischievous sparkle as he said, "So..." He leaned in closer, hesitating a moment, before letting his lips feather over my collarbone. He lightly kissed the junction of my neck and my shoulder before asking, "This is okay?"

"Yes," I breathed, tilting my head back slightly.

I felt him smile against my neck as he asked, "As long as I don't bite?" His breath ghosted over my skin as he spoke, sending a chill down my spine.

"Just don't bite," I said, my voice no louder than a whisper.

I tried to suppress a shiver as his lips trailed over my neck, stopping to kiss the edge of my jaw just under my ear. He kissed his way up my jaw until I turned my head to press my lips against his. He was gentle this time, not as eager as he'd been before. His hands came up to my face. One stroked the unbruised side of my face while the other one made its way to my hair.

He stopped when I gasped. He pulled away from my lips, but maintained the closeness.

After a while, he pulled his hands away and said, "You should try to catch up on your sleep."

"It's almost noon," I pointed out, a bit disappointed at the loss of his touch, though I could still feel his lips on me.

He chuckled and said, "I know, but you barely slept at all last night if you stayed awake against that door like I did." He lifted a finger and lightly prodded the dark circle under my right eye. "You're exhausted. Besides, I probably have to step out for a while again and I'd feel a lot better knowing you're asleep when I leave."

"Oh..." I said, glancing at his hand over his pocket his phone occupied. "Alright, then."

He smiled and escorted me to my room. I tried not to giggle hysterically when I reached up to trace the line his lips had made. His hands were a lot more pleasant than any others I'd felt, and I wanted to feel them again. I tried not to get too overexcited at the thought as I laid down to sleep.

* * *

**A/N: I'm so psyched that people are liking this! Thanks for all your support, and for reading. Please review! :)**


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary**: The bullying that has haunted Roxas for years just became worse. After enduring a very tough break-up with Hayner, the whole school *mysteriously* finds out that he's gay. Will Axel be able to stop Roxas from harming himself when things just get too much to take? Akuroku. **Warning**: Involves physical/sexual abuse.

**Disclaimer**: I own nothing but the storyline!

* * *

I knew I had to go back to school, but it was Friday before I actually decided to go. It wasn't a very pleasant thought, but Axel insisted on staying home with me until I went back, and I didn't want him to miss too much school either. The decision was made easier by the fact that he was driving me, and would be accompanying me wherever and whenever he could.

The first thing I did when I got there was look for Olette. I found her near the bus line, as usual. Thankfully, Hayner was not with her.

"Olette!" I called.

She turned to look at me, her eyes widening at the sight of the bruises on my face and neck. If she was shocked at the bruise on my face, she probably would have fainted if she'd seen me shirtless.

"Roxas..." she said, biting her lip. She looked over at Axel and asked, "Who's this?" I assumed that she was purposely diverting her attention.

"Olette, Axel. Axel, Olette," I said, motioning between them. "Great. Now that introductions are over, there's something I have to tell you."

A lump rose in my throat when I saw Hayner walking toward us and I almost choked on the last words.

"Roxas," he said with a smirk. "Where'd you get that shiner?"

"Hello, Hayner," I said, trying not to glare. "Smug as ever." I was barely able to keep my racing heart from affecting my voice.

He faked a gasp and said, "Roxas! I'm hurt."

"Yeah?" I asked, now trying to ward off anger. "Me too. What a coincidence."

Olette, being opposed to violence, decided to step in, unfortunately choosing the wrong way to do it. "What did you want to tell me, Roxas?"

I gulped, trying to get the growing lump out of my throat. "Well..." I said, trying to find the polite way to go about telling her that her boyfriend was no better than dirt. I twitched when Hayner wrapped his arm around her, pulling her against him. "Did I ever tell you why Hayner broke up with me?" I asked.

She looked at me, then at Hayner, who shrugged, then back at me before saying, "No. Why?"

I decided just to go for it, figuring the damage was already inevitable. "Because I never slept with him. I mean... I was planning to. On our anniversary, which was a week ago. Which was when he broke up with me. But obviously he didn't know that and started dating you before he found out. And..." I was babbling. I knew it. I was also very self-conscious having this conversation with Axel standing beside me.

"Oh, shove it, Roxas," Hayner said with a disgusted look. "You're just jealous that I chose Olette over you."

I was about to deny that when Axel suddenly slipped his arm around me and asked, "Why would he be jealous?"

Hayner looked at Axel for the first time, as if sizing him up, before looking up at me. "Wow, Roxas. You so much of a pussy you have to get your new boyfriend to stick up for you? I mean, I obviously knew you were the girl in the relationship, but damn."

"He's not my..." I began, but paused, looking up at Axel, who raised an eyebrow at me. "Are you my boyfriend?" I asked stupidly.

He smirked and said, "That's up to you." He pulled me a bit closer to him and said, "You obviously know where I stand on the matter."

"Oh..." I said, trying to blink away my slight confusion. "Well I guess he is but that doesn't mean-"

"Whatever," Hayner interrupted. "Come on, Olette."

Olette looked back at me, mouthing, "Sorry" before letting Hayner practically drag her away. I clenched and unclenched my fists, trying to quell my anger before looking up at Axel. I blushed when I saw that he was looking back at me, practically beaming.

"What?" I asked, blushing deeper when he answered.

"It's just nice to have a relationship status," he said with a smirk. "Come on, let's get you fed."

My heart sped up and I gulped down a now monstrously sized lump in my throat as he led me to the cafeteria. I dreaded going back in there, but I hadn't had time to eat this morning. I was so used to my alarm clock back home that the one Axel had supplied me with failed to wake me up on time. Axel came in and woke me, though, his hair sticking out all over the place. I smiled at the memory.

The cafeteria wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. Axel and I walked in together, our hands connected. I saw people whispering about us, but couldn't make out what they were saying. Axel shot anyone who started to say anything directly to me an evil glare, once again wrapping his arm around my waist.

After we were seated at Axel's usual table, he asked me to point out the ones who had assaulted me if they were present. All three of them were. I gestured at the table, not wanting to look at them longer than necessary, especially since the one who had... taken the greatest interest in me was staring at me. I conveniently left out the fact that one of them had been Hayner.

"Seifer Almasy, Tidus Fleming, Rai Jin," Axel said, naming the three boys at the table. A dangerous look flashed in his eyes, a grin spread on his face, and he chuckled darkly.

"What?" I asked, almost afraid to know what he was thinking.

"Just thinking," he said with another chuckle. "I have a promise to keep."

I was about to ask what promise, but thought better of it. I probably didn't want to know. The way he was staring at the three of them... I shivered.

The rest of the day wasn't too bad. We both realized for the first time that we had first period together, but no classes after that. We took lunch together, but neither of us said much. I was just trying to ignore the looks I was getting, and Axel looked... contemplative. I decided, once again, that it was best not to ask. He had been in a dangerous mood ever since breakfast.

After lunch, I was incredibly bored up until some kind of commotion broke out in the hallway during sixth period. I thought I heard someone mention a fight, but everyone was running and chattering at the same time that I couldn't make heads or tails of the matter. The teacher managed to keep everyone in the classroom, but they still made such a ruckus that I couldn't figure out what was going on.

About ten minutes after everything had calmed down, a very pissed-sounding voice came on the intercom and said, "Axel Flynn, please report to the main office. Teachers, if you see Axel Flynn, please direct him to the main office. God da-" The sound was cut off before he could finish the expletive.

Everyone got quiet before someone in the classroom blurted, "So it _was _Axel! Remind me never to get on his bad side. Ouch."

I looked up, trying to hear what everyone was saying. What had Axel done? Obviously, he was involved in the fight people had been talking about, but who else had been?

"Oh my God! I know. Did you _see _it? I wouldn't want to have been the teacher who broke _that _up!"

"What did he do?" I asked to no one in particular. I just wanted an answer from someone.

The boy sitting closest to me heard my question and said, "He totally beat the shit out of Seifer Almasy, dude! How could you not know this? It was crazy!"

"That..." I said, shock plain on my face. "That makes sense."

The bell rang for seventh period before anyone could say anything else about it. I was shocked, but also a little... pleased. I couldn't help grinning from ear to ear all the way to class.

After dressing out for gym (having to wear my sweats instead of shorts), a little wary of everyone in the locker room, I came back out to the gym to find a very familiar and very happy-looking redhead waiting for me on the bleachers. As far as I could see, there wasn't a scratch on him. The fight must have been very one-sided.

"What are you looking all happy for?" I asked, sitting next to him.

"I got suspended," he said with a huge grin.

"That's not usually something one would be very happy about," I pointed out, a smile spreading on my face. I don't think there are proper words to describe how he looked. It was a combination of happy, amused, and somehow still slightly pissed off. If someone had seen him without knowing what had happened, they probably would have thought he was high.

"Yeah," he shrugged. "Well, I didn't get expelled. That's a good thing, considering my record." He interlocked his fingers behind his head and leaned back, resting his feet on the bench in front of him.

"You didn't have to do that, you know," I said, resting my head on his chest.

He brought a hand around and started playing with my hair. "I kept my promise," he said. "Well... not quite." He smiled. "I said I would do a thousand times worse. That didn't quite cut it."

"Thank you, Axel," I said, wrapping my arm around his torso. "But I'd prefer you didn't get into any more trouble for me, okay?"

He snaked his arm around my waist as he said, "I'll try." He chuckled. "But it's so easy to do."

I snickered and asked, "How long are you suspended?"

"Five days," he answered. "Coach Almasy wanted to get me either expelled or arrested for assault, but when I explained my motives... Let's just say that he didn't seem so fond of expulsion or legal charges when I threatened his son with the same. I guess blackmail works as well as anything else."

"You told him?" I asked, my body going slightly rigid.

"Not quite everything, but yeah." He saw my worried look and said, "Only the coach and the principal know, and they don't know everything. They won't ask any more about it, though."

"Okay," I said, relaxing. "What are you doing here?"

"I figured I'd skip my English class and come watch you run around doing... whatever you do in gym. I think it's a free day. Not sure, though. I didn't exactly stay for class." He chuckled again.

I sighed, glancing up to look at his eyes. "We could just go home," I said with a smile.

"You'd ditch?" he asked with an inquisitive look in his eye.

"No one would even know I'm gone," I answered with a slight shrug.

"Well hell, let's go," he said, lifting me off of him and leaping off the bleachers.

"Hold on," I said. "I have to get changed first. Stay."

He smirked and said, "I'll be here when you get back."

I changed as quickly as I could, hoping no one would notice us leaving. Axel was waiting for me outside the locker room door. He flashed me a smile and led me out to the parking lot, opening my door for me before moving around to the driver's seat. I felt so relieved to be rid of that school for the weekend.

A sudden thought struck me as we were pulling away from the school.

"Axel, wait," I said, biting my lower lip.

"Yeah?" he answered, glancing over at me curiously.

"Could you do me a huge favor?" I asked with a smile.

I explained my thought to Axel and he nodded, returning my smile before turning around and taking us in the opposite direction.

It wasn't that far from here, and I was sure she'd be glad to see me. I was worried about seeing her, but my general worry _about _her canceled out my fear. I was really only worried about what she would do when I told her...

* * *

**A/N: It might take me a while to upload the next few chapters. Finals are coming up the week after next. o.O *groan* But I'll get them up as soon as possible. Thanks for reading. Please review! :)**


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary**: The bullying that has haunted Roxas for years just became worse. After enduring a very tough break-up with Hayner, the whole school *mysteriously* finds out that he's gay. Will Axel be able to stop Roxas from harming himself when things just get too much to take? Akuroku. **Warning**: Involves physical/sexual abuse.

**Disclaimer**: I own nothing but the storyline!

* * *

Axel followed me into the day-care center, eyes darting all over the place. He looked very uncomfortable, especially when a toddler ran up and hugged his legs. I smiled, not used to seeing him flustered.

"Tifa?" I called, stumbling over a set of building blocks.

I saw her across the room, in the middle of stooping down to clean up spilled spaghetti. When she saw me, her eyes widened and she ran over to me, almost tripping over her own boots. I guess my worry for her wasn't as great as her worry for me.

"Roxas!" She tackled me in a crushing hug as she rambled, "I'm so sorry! I heard what happened. I'm sorry I wasn't there when you got back. I had to work. I'm so sorry. I would have done something to-"

"It's alright, Tifa," I said, returning my step-mother's hug.

She leaned back to look at me, smoothing my hair in an attempt to comfort me as she asked, "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," I said, looking around for Axel. I found him being crawled on by numerous tiny children, trying his best to keep their prying hands from pulling at his hair. I smiled at this, not blaming the children for wanting to investigate his wild mane.

Tifa followed my gaze, a slow smile spreading over her face when she saw him. "I see you are," she said. "New boyfriend?"

"Yeah," I said with a little chuckle. "His name is Axel Flynn."

She smiled brightly, having known my secret since the second month of my relationship with Hayner. "I'm glad to see you coping," she said, hugging me again. "I was so worried about you when I got home that night. I tried to convince Cloud to let you come back, but I guess you're better off now."

"I am," I assured her. "But that's not why I came. I wanted to ask you a favor."

"Name it," she said, her eyes searching mine.

I bit my lip and asked, "Will you go with me to see mom?"

"I'd be happy to," she said sympathetically, kissing my cheek. "I get off work in fifteen."

Almost twenty minutes later, the three of us were in Axel's car (Tifa having walked to work), headed toward Sunset Hill Cemetery.

Axel politely waited by the car, realizing that this was a very personal situation. Tifa wrapped her arm around my shoulders as we walked toward my family plot, which currently held only one grave.

Tifa stood next to me as I sat down on the wet ground near Aerith Gainsborough-Strife's gravestone. Tifa had tried to be a good mother figure for me ever since Aerith had died, but she couldn't be there for me all the time, especially at some of the moments I'd needed her the most. I knew that she felt extremely guilty about this, and I understood that she couldn't possibly be there all the time. But I was always afraid that if she ever left me at home alone with my father, he would start to do horrible things to me again. I was also always afraid that, even though she could have definitely defended herself, he would start to physically abuse her.

I put those thoughts out of my head as I trailed my fingers over the grave in front of me. "Hi mom," I said, my voice breaking. "I know I didn't know you very well, but I miss you so much. I knew you always loved me, and maybe if you were still alive dad wouldn't have... done some of the things he did. But I don't blame you for anything, mom. You did the best you could to be there for me. I wish you could have been there to watch me grow up. I'm sorry it didn't work out that way."

I didn't have the will to hold back the tears. Even though I only had the first year of my life with my mother and I didn't have many clear memories of her, I loved her and I would love her for the rest of my life.

Tifa knelt next to me and I let her pull me into her arms. We stayed like that for a while, Tifa rubbing her hand along my back as I cried.

After a while, Tifa sighed and said, "He wasn't always like that, you know." I looked up at her, puzzled. "Your father," she clarified. "There was a time when he was really sweet. Then your mother was killed and he just... fell apart. I tried to help him, but he was too far gone. I think he might have partially blamed you for her death, even though there was no way you were even a factor."

"Why?" I asked with a gulp.

She shrugged. "Something about the stress of the pregnancy. I think he was just jealous that Aerith was paying more attention to you than to him."

That could have been true. I didn't know how much faith to put in Tifa's words about my father. I had always known him to be the monster I grew up with, but it seemed plausible that he could have been kinder at one point. I knew my mother had loved him, so he had to have had some kind of redeeming quality at one point. Still, regardless of what Tifa said, he had never been anything but cruel to me. I was actually kind of glad that my mother didn't have to see him like this. It would surely break her heart if she did.

I got up and brushed myself off, wiping my tears away and saying farewell to my mother's grave before heading back to the car.

"I'll walk home from here," Tifa said, surprising me. The house was all the way on the other side of town.

When I asked her about it she said, "I'm not living with Cloud anymore. I told him that if he ever laid a harmful hand on you again, that would be the last of me. I feel bad about leaving him alone, but after what he's done to you he deserves no less."

"Couldn't agree more," Axel said with a smirk. "You sure I can't see you home, Mrs. ...ah... ma'am?"

Tifa chuckled and said, "Still Mrs. Strife for now. I appreciate the offer, but I'll be just fine." She turned to walk away, but turned back, adding, "Oh, and I'd like to thank you for doing everything you've done for Roxas. He deserves to be happy for once."

Axel flushed slightly, the first time I've ever seen him do so, and said, "I wouldn't have it any other way."

After parting with Tifa, we filed into the car and headed home. I sighed, leaning into the seat. It had been an exhausting day. I glanced over at Axel. He looked worried about something, but I wouldn't pry. He would tell me about it when he wanted to.

We rolled to a stop just outside the garage. Axel parked the car, but didn't turn the engine off.

"Are you okay?" he asked, not looking at me.

"Yes," I said, watching him closely. "Are you?"

He gripped the steering wheel tighter as he said, "Yeah. I just have to leave for a while." He eyed me. "Are you going to be okay here by yourself?"

"I'll be good," I assured him. "Why do you have to leave?"

He paused for a moment before saying, "I have to settle something. I won't be gone long."

"Okay," I said with a sigh. "I'll see you when you get back."

I turned to get out of the car, but he said, "Roxas, wait."

"Yeah?" I asked, turning back to him.

He looked like he was trying to work something out in his head. He opened his mouth to speak, but closed it again soon after. I waited patiently for him to speak, but after a while it seemed like he needed some encouragement.

"What is it?" I asked, leaning closer to him.

He exhaled quickly, closing the distance between us and pressing his lips against mine. He wrapped his arms around me and the kiss became more urgent. It was like he was afraid to let go.

He broke the kiss, touched his forehead to mine, and whispered, "I love you."

My eyes flew open. Had I heard that correctly or were my ears playing tricks on me? Axel just told me he loved me. What do I do? I should answer. But what do I say? Do I love him? I thought about it for a moment, coming to the conclusion that, yes, I do love him. I then realized that he was probably waiting for an answer.

I pulled back to look him in the eyes as I said, "I love you too."

He closed his eyes as his lips turned up in a small smile. He pressed his lips against mine again for a moment before saying, "I have to go though."

"Okay," I said. I stayed there for a moment before saying, "So I should probably get out of the car."

He chuckled and said, "Yes, that would probably be a good idea. Though I wish you didn't have to."

I forced myself not to ask why he suddenly looked so down and said, "Okay then." I got out of the car and said, "Bye. Have a good time doing... whatever you're doing."

"I'm sure I won't," he said, looking straight ahead.

I closed the door and watched as he drove off, completely bewildered at what had just transpired.

* * *

**A/N: I'm sorry for the wait! Writing three term papers while getting ready for finals don't really mix. I'll get the next chapter up as soon as I can. Thanks for reading. Please review! :)**


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary**: The bullying that has haunted Roxas for years just became worse. After enduring a very tough break-up with Hayner, the whole school *mysteriously* finds out that he's gay. Will Axel be able to stop Roxas from harming himself when things just get too much to take? Akuroku. **Warning**: Involves physical/sexual abuse.

**Disclaimer**: I own nothing but the storyline!

* * *

I woke up around noon on Saturday, proud to have slept soundly all through the night for the first time in a while. I stretched painfully, my ribs still sore. I was becoming quite used to the pain at this point though, almost to where it no longer bothered me.

After a bit of morning hygiene, I went to search for Axel. After a quick search of the main living area, I checked the garage to find his car still missing. It worried me that he never returned home last night, but I knew that he was certainly able to look out for himself.

I put my worries aside as I microwaved a couple slices of veggie bacon (over the past week, Axel had stocked his kitchen full of products necessary for a healthy vegan diet). Admittedly, I couldn't really cook. I knew enough that I didn't have to eat my meals cold, but Axel was the chef around here. Without him, I was stuck with microwaved veggie bacon (which was rather bland by itself) and granola. I wasn't complaining though. At least I could feed myself.

The hours ticked by at a snail's pace and Axel still hadn't returned home. My worry was beginning to increase with each passing minute, and by the time five o'clock rolled around, I had bitten all of my fingernails to the quick and just about dug a rut in the living room floor with my pacing. I was certain that something awful had happened at that point.

I eyed the phone that hung on the wall between the living room and the kitchen, tentatively leaving my invisible rut to wander over to it. I had no idea who to call in this kind of situation. I didn't know anyone who would know where Axel was and calling 911 wasn't really proper at the moment. It occurred to me that I should have asked for Axel's cell phone number. It would have been very handy right now.

Just as I was about to start calling the preset numbers, the phone let out a shrill ring that almost made me jump right out of my skin.

I picked it up before it had time to ring a second time and said, "Hello?"

There was a brief pause before the deep, velvety voice on the other end replied, "You're not Axel." I swore I heard a muffled chuckle.

"No," I answered, a little taken aback. "But you wouldn't happen to know where he is at the moment, would you?"

"I assumed he would be there," came the reply. "And since it seems he is not, what would you be doing there, Roxas?"

"I live here," I said, a bit too quickly.

"Do you?" the man asked with a definite chuckle. "That's very interesting. I wasn't aware that Axel was keeping stray pets."

"I'm not a-" I began before I realized that I had never spoken to the man on the other end of the phone and, as such, he should not have known my name. I was about to ask how he knew me when the phone was taken from me. "Hey!"

"Don't ever call my house again, you hear?" Axel shouted into the phone before promptly hanging it up.

His presence startled me. I hadn't heard the front door open, or his approaching footsteps, but I was so overjoyed to see him safe that I didn't quite care about that.

"Axel!" I exclaimed, wrapping my arms tightly around him.

"Sorry I had you worried," he said, returning my embrace. His voice sounded very strained, and cracked twice when he spoke.

I looked up at him, shocked at what I saw even more so by the fact that he wasn't trying to hide it. He looked... scared. No, that didn't cover it. He looked downright distraught. Fear, anger, anxiety, sorrow and frustration were all currently taking residence in a usually tranquil facial expression. The worry that had been snuffed out by his presence returned tenfold.

"What happened?" I asked, not knowing exactly how to react to this.

He gulped. "It's a long story."

"We have time," I said, pulling away from him slightly. "I can listen. I don't know if I'll be able to help at all, but if you want to talk about it I-"

My flow of words was cut off when his mouth captured mine. Before I could react, I found myself pushed up against the wall, Axel's body firmly pressed against mine. His hands seemed to be everywhere at once. They were on my face, tangled in my hair, traveling down my arms, around my waist, up and down my sides. They eventually found their way under my shirt, pressing against my bare back and pulling me closer than I thought physically possible.

His lips trailed kisses down my jaw as he repeatedly breathed my name. To my astonishment, I felt tears falling onto my neck. I didn't know how to react or what to do or what to say. I didn't know if there was anything I _could _do or say, even if I wanted to.

He cupped my face in both his hands, pulling back to look me in the eye, and said, "Mine," before he crushed his lips against mine once more. I would have lost my balance and fallen over when he reached around me to grip my ass if I hadn't been pinned so tightly between him and the wall.

I wanted this. God knows I wanted this. And I was certain that Axel wanted this too if the bulge currently pressed against my thigh was anything to go by. However, I didn't want this to become something that he would come to regret later, given his current state of mind. I wanted us both to be able to think things through clearly before anything like this happened and, if things kept progressing like they were, I doubt that either of us would be able to think clearly.

"Axel," I mumbled into his mouth. I gasped when I felt his fingernails dangerously low on bare skin. "Axel, wait." I pushed against his chest, trying to create a bit of distance. "Stop."

He got the message and pulled away, his hands retreating further up my back while still maintaining contact. His eyes searched my face and I tried (probably failing) to hide the lust that would have been clear to see. I wanted this, but I also wanted to make sure he was okay first.

As always, he could read me like a book. A smile spread on his face as he said, "You don't really want me to stop."

_Damn that sexy voice_, I thought. I gulped, trying to keep my lower body from touching him as I answered, "No, I really don't." I blushed and averted my eyes. "I want you, but I want to know that you're really alright first."

He smiled at me when I looked back at him, gently lifting my chin toward him as he said, "I'm definitely alright now."

He kissed me again, gently nibbling my bottom lip. I barely managed to gasp out, "Bedroom?"

It didn't have to be the bedroom. It could have been the couch. Or the floor. Hell, at this point, I would have been fine with the wall. I just thought the bedroom would be more... comfortable.

He chuckled against my lips and lifted me effortlessly into his arms, somehow managing to carry me upstairs.

* * *

**A/N: Next chapter (obviously) will be the lemon. ;P Sorry it was so short, but (at least to me) it made sense to cut it off here. I promise I won't keep you waiting too long this time. I value my life too much. xD Thanks for reading. Please review! :)  
**


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary**: The bullying that has haunted Roxas for years just became worse. After enduring a very tough break-up with Hayner, the whole school *mysteriously* finds out that he's gay. Will Axel be able to stop Roxas from harming himself when things just get too much to take? Akuroku. **Warning**: Involves physical/sexual abuse.

**Disclaimer**: I own nothing but the storyline!

* * *

I landed on the bed with a small grunt. Axel had taken me upstairs, to his room. This was the first time I'd ever been inside his bedroom, but my brain wasn't paying much attention to my surroundings. Axel's hands at my waist currently held my undivided attention. He'd pushed my t-shirt up and was now kissing the bare skin along the waistband of my pants, undoing the button as I wriggled the rest of the way out of my shirt.

As soon as he'd managed to undo my pants, he yanked them down with one ferocious tug and stood admiring the bulge in my boxers, which was almost completely erect, with a mischievous glint in his eye. He leaned forward to catch my lips in a kiss as he reached down to grip me through my boxers. The flush in my cheeks grew at this, but it reminded me a little too much of what had gone on in the locker room. I kicked my pants the rest of the way off and reached down to separate myself from the remaining offending material.

I felt Axel chuckle against my neck when I said, "You're a little overdressed, aren't you?"

He lifted one of his legs over me, now straddling my thighs, as he said, "I suppose I am. You want to help fix that?"

I smiled and lifted my hands to unbutton his shirt, marveling at the feel of his warm flesh under my fingertips as I pushed the material off of him. I let my fingers graze over his muscular chest and down the taut muscles of his abdomen, finally hooking one of my fingers under the waistband of his jeans, biting my lower lip. I glanced up at him, letting out a gasp at the lustful stare he was giving me.

Still meeting his eyes, I fumbled with the button of his jeans for a moment before it, then the zipper, gave way. I pushed the material down his hips, somewhat surprised to find that he wasn't wearing underwear.

When he was finally uncovered, I looked down, my eyes widening. _Holy shit_, I thought. I'd say I'm a decent size, but _this_! I'd bet that I couldn't even fit my fingers all the way around that. I tested my theory, smiling when my actions excited a small hiss from Axel. I was right. There was still about an inch of space between my thumb and middle finger. I gulped.

"You're cute when you're flustered," Axel said with a twinkle in his eye.

"Axel, I think we might have a problem," I said, when I thought about how I could possibly manage to fit _that _inside me.

"Hmm?" he said, wrapping his hand around the one I still gripped him with.

"I don't think... uh..." I said, biting my lip again. "I don't think I can fit... that."

He chuckled and, leaning in to whisper in my ear, asked, "Who said you had to bottom?"

I watched him, eyes going wider, as he dropped to his knees, pulling my legs apart so he could settle between them. He kept his eyes on mine as he slowly licked up the underside of my pulsing member, flicking his tongue around the head before taking the tip into his mouth.

I laid back, trying (but failing) to keep my heartbeat and breathing steady as Axel's tongue worked its magic. I let out a sharp moan when I felt myself slide further, into his throat. I felt an amazing heat spread through me, beyond the normal heat of arousal as he sucked and licked, fingernails lightly scraping over the skin that was still exposed, and teeth grazing the skin that was enveloped wonderfully in his mouth. If he kept going at this rate, I would end up embarrassing myself, but _God _I didn't want him to stop.

My eyelids started to droop and I clutched desperately at the sheets. My panting grew erratic as his hands and mouth worked in unison to bring me more pleasure than I've felt in the better part of my life.

"Axel..." I breathed as I felt myself getting close. "Axel... I'm gonna..."

I groaned when he abruptly pulled away from me and said, "Wait."

I heard him rummaging around in the drawer of his nightstand. "Aha!" he said, lifting up a small tube of lube. He smiled when my eyes widened even more. He squeezed some of the contents onto his hand as he leaned down, licking my earlobe.

"I want you inside me," he said, his voice husky with lust.

I gulped as he stroked me with the lubrication. "Are you sure?" I asked.

He crawled over me, his hands on either side of my head, as he said, "Most definitely."

He cupped my face in his hands and kissed me lightly on the lips, moving down my jaw to my neck and collarbones. He took a chance and lightly nipped at one of my collarbones, looking up at my eyes to gauge my reaction. I smiled and he returned it, sitting up and positioning himself over me.

He met my eyes again before he slowly moved himself down onto me. He winced a little, but he was surprisingly easy to enter, though still amazingly tight. He moved down to sheathe me completely, his eyes shut tight. With a sigh, he smiled.

"You okay?" I asked, gripping his hips.

He opened his eyes, his pupils fully dilated, and said, "More than okay."

He leaned down to kiss me again before straightening up and beginning to move, slowly at first, but increasing momentum at a steady pace. I arched up to match his movements when I was confident I wouldn't be hurting him. I knew I wouldn't last much longer, but I wanted to hold out as long as I possibly could for him.

I reached down between us and grasped his length, still a little awed by his size. I began to run my fingers up and down his shaft, smiling when a gasp escaped his lips. I shifted under him slightly and arched into him. He threw his head back and moaned and I knew that I had found his sweet spot. Still stroking him, I thrust into him again with more ferocity.

"G-God, Roxas," he panted. "Don't stop!"

I continued pounding him from beneath until I felt heat spread in my lower body, my muscles contracting and my scrotum drawing up. With a final thrust, I screamed as I released into him, my vision dotted with white spots and my thoughts going blurry. A few moments later, I was rewarded by the sound of Axel's groan as his fluids spilled onto my stomach.

Neither of us moved for a while. Neither of us were capable. We just laid there, trying to control our breathing, until Axel rolled off of me. I was still slightly surprised that he had let me top (though, technically, I was still on the bottom).

I turned to look at him and asked, a bit breathlessly, "Do you want to..." I motioned from him to me, trying to make my brain form the appropriate words.

He smiled, obviously getting what I was trying to ask. "Next time," he said, causing me to blush at the thought of a next time before bringing my hand up to kiss the palm and intertwining our fingers on his chest. I could feel his frantic heartbeat, eerily matching mine almost exactly.

I eyed the creamy white fluid on my stomach and had the itching desire to know what he tasted like. I scooped up the majority of the sticky liquid and brought it to my mouth. It was largely salty and bitter, but there was a slightly sweet aftertaste to it. I smiled.

"That," Axel said, turning over on his side, "was so sexy."

"Want some?" I asked, gesturing to the remainder of the semen on my stomach.

He laughed and asked, "Do I taste good?"

"Kiss me and find out," I said, inching closer to him.

He smirked and brought his lips to mine, his tongue finding the access it was looking for and swirling around mine. I hummed into his mouth, lightly sucking his tongue and causing him to moan in response.

When I finally pulled away, I asked, "So do you taste good?"

"On you, most definitely," he answered, nuzzling my neck with his nose.

I moved closer to him, resting my head on his chest. "Love you," I said as he stroked my hair.

I heard his heart speed up at my words, as mine did also. He planted a kiss on the top of my hair and said, "I love you too, more than words can describe."

We laid there, both equally spent, comforted by each others' embrace, until I drifted to sleep.

* * *

**A/N: Not horrible I hope? (Remember, I'm a girl, and this is my first.) Anyway, storyline picks up next chapter. Thanks for reading. Please review! :)**


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary**: The bullying that has haunted Roxas for years just became worse. After enduring a very tough break-up with Hayner, the whole school *mysteriously* finds out that he's gay. Will Axel be able to stop Roxas from harming himself when things just get too much to take? Akuroku. **Warning**: Involves physical/sexual abuse.

**Disclaimer**: I own nothing but the storyline!

* * *

I woke up the next morning to the sound of Axel's phone vibrating loudly against the wood of his nightstand. After four rings, I reached for the offensive thing, just trying to get the ringing to stop. However, before my hand even found the nightstand, Axel's fingers intertwined with mine.

He brought my hand to his mouth and said, "Just let it ring."

"Okay," I said, resting my head on Axel's bare chest with a sigh.

I looked him over. He was now wearing a pair of blue and black striped pajama bottoms and his hair was no longer the spiky mass it usually was. Even though I was still naked, I could tell that he had cleaned me up by the lack of an uncomfortable sticky feeling.

"So you thought it would be a nice idea to shower without me?" I asked with a smile.

"I was going to invite you," he said, returning my smile, "but I couldn't stand the thought of waking you up." He tousled my hair. "You're so cute when you're asleep."

"Couldn't stand the thought of _covering _me up either, it seems," I said, trying to sound annoyed.

He chuckled.

The shrill sound of the phone downstairs was clear through the morning silence. Axel groaned, but made no move to answer. Mere seconds after the house phone stopped ringing, Axel's cell began to vibrate again.

"Maybe you should answer that," I said, sending a sideways glare at his phone.

He grunted in response and, after the phone signaled a new voicemail, he leaned across me to pick it up. I could hear the meek, but anxious voice that had left the message, but I couldn't make out the words. If Axel's face was any indicator, something was horribly wrong. His eyes had gone wide with terror, his gaze on me intense as he dropped his phone without even disconnecting.

"You have to leave," he said, practically throwing himself off the bed. "Now."

"What?" I asked as he tossed me my jeans. "Why?"

"No time to explain," he said as he grabbed my wrist and tugged me out of bed, not even giving me time to get my pants on. "Just go."

I tried not to trip down the stairs as I stepped into my pants with one hand, carefully zipping them up. Axel rushed to the peg on which he kept his keys, hands trembling as he shoved them into my grasp.

"Take my car," he said, his eyes darting around the room and out every window. "I don't care where you go, just go somewhere safe. Somewhere I don't know about. Stay gone at least the rest of the day and don't come near the house until you see the front porch light on, okay?"

"Axel, what's this about?" I asked, tears beginning to flood out of my eyes. "I know something's been going on with you and I've tried not to pry, but now I have to know."

"I'll explain everything when you get back," he said, pulling me into his arms and planting a kiss on the top of my head. "I love you. Just, please, go."

"No," I said, getting angry now. I pulled out of his embrace and said, "You can't just fuck me then tell me to leave! I want an explanation now!"

He grimaced at my words and started talking very fast, "There's no time to tell you everything, but I promise you, I'll be here when you get back. In a few minutes, seconds even, someone is going to be here with the intent to harm. Please, I need to know you'll be safe." He pulled me back, almost crushing me in his arms. "I don't want to lose you again!"

"Again?" I asked, not really comprehending what he was trying so desperately to get through to me.

He suddenly pushed me away and said, "Dammit, Roxas, please just go! I don't want them to-"

Axel's sentence was cut short when someone knocked at the door. He looked to the door and back to me a few times before sending me a final, pleading look when a muffled voice came from the other side of the door, "It's over, Axel. No use running now. Believe me, I tried."

Axel wiped away the tears that had spilled over when he'd heard the knock and went to the door. He opened it for a young, slender blond man with an outrageous mullet and big sea-green eyes. The man was wearing an odd sort of black cloak, black boots, complete with black gloves. Very ungracefully, he just about tripped into the house. Axel rolled his eyes at the youth, though I could tell he was trying to hide his fear.

"Hello, _Demyx_," he said, practically spitting the name.

"A-Axel," Demyx replied, drawing his lips into a hard line. It was obvious that he was no more comfortable with his presence here than Axel was.

After a moment of drawn out silence, Axel broke it, "Well?"

Demyx twitched a bit and said, "I'm sorry, Axel." He looked like he was going to burst into tears any minute. "Xemnas sent me to t-tell you that you still have a d-debt to settle. I'm here to bring you back." He looked from Axel to me and said, his voice even more shaky, "Y-You are to l-leave R-Roxas under m-m-my watch until his terms are m-met."

Axel chuckled, "Oh so he sent his bitch to make me?"

A dangerous look flashed in Demyx's eyes for a fraction of a second before turning to something of a mix of shock and surprise when a pipe burst in the kitchen, water spraying everywhere.

"Demyx, I swear, if you flood my house..." Axel looked pissed. I noticed that the temperature in the house had begun to rise several degrees, very similar to when Axel had confronted my dad.

Demyx's eyes widened and he said, "I'm sorry, Axel. It just happened. I didn't mean to..." He looked very nervous.

Axel sighed, the temperature in the room dropping to normal, as he went to take care of the broken pipe in the kitchen. This left me alone in the living room with a fidgety Demyx, even though there wasn't a complete wall between the two parts of the house. I was well aware of him glancing at me through full lashes every now and then until Axel returned.

"Well, Dem," he said, drying himself as best he could with a hand towel since the whole upper half of him was now soaking wet, "I'd say you owe me quite a bit in water damages, but if you get the fuck out of my house right now, I might just let it slide."

Demyx paused and said, "I can't do that, Axel. I... If you don't go..."

Axel laughed and said, "Well, Xemnas will just have to be disappointed. Because I'm not going."

"Axel, he's pissed that you skipped out on him after... and he found out about..." His gaze slid to me for a fraction of a second before continuing in almost a whisper, "I'm afraid it wasn't a request." He moved closer to Axel and said, "I'm here to collect you. You can come without a fight, or..." he paused. "Or I can get Xaldin to come and get you."

Axel chuckled at this. "Coward," he spat. "Remind me never to trust you again. I'd like to see you try to make me come with you. Or run back to Xaldin and see if I give a shit."

Demyx bit his lip and glanced at the door before Axel continued, "You run along to Xemnas and tell him that if he wants me, he can come and get me himself."

"That can be easily arranged," came a very dark, velvety, and eerily sinister voice.

The owner of that voice walked very fluidly through the door a moment later, causing Demyx to fidget even more. He, like Demyx, was dressed in black from head to toe, also wearing one of those odd cloaks. He pulled down his hood, revealing a wide, pale face with wicked eyebrows, crazy sideburns and long black dreads.

The man smirked and said, "He's just outside."

"X-Xaldin," said Axel, who seemed to be quite unprepared for this scenario. After a brief pause, he turned and sprinted toward me, grabbing my arm and pulling me toward the open back door. It, however, closed itself abruptly when a strong gust of wind decided to blow very conveniently at that exact moment. He skidded to a halt, turning to face Xaldin, a sneer on his face.

He started to raise his hand, but lowered it quickly when Xaldin said, "We'll follow you."

"You can't run away, Axel," Demyx sighed, biting his lip. "Nowhere to run."

Xaldin chuckled and said, "Axel... don't you know you can't turn on the Organization?"

"No fucking shit, Sherlock," Axel retorted, dropping my arm.

Xaldin sneered, looking down his nose at us, and said, "Xemnas would very much like to see you now, along with our little lost lamb." He turned his head and smiled at me, sending chills running down my spine. "But we'll save the best for last, right?"

"You better go with him, Axel," Demyx said.

I jumped. I hadn't even realized he had moved to stand, well more like cower, beside me.

"This could get ugly and I don't think you want to see it," he whispered to me.

He grabbed my arm. I tried to twist out of his grip, but it was solid. He'd seemed like such a wimp, but he was certainly strong.

"Let me go!" I shouted, grabbing the attention of both Xaldin and Axel.

"Get your hands off him, Demyx," Axel said with a dangerous tone to his voice.

Demyx started to comply, but Xaldin stopped him, "Don't you dare. He's got some explaining to do after we get this all sorted out." A slow smile spread on his face, his dark violet eyes burning into my very soul as he said, "Oh, yes. You're definitely in for a treat."

"No!" Axel said, that dangerous tone rising, now in his eyes as well. "You're not going to touch him! I won't let that happen!" I could feel the room getting hot again, much hotter than it had gotten before.

"Oh, really?" Xaldin asked, sauntering toward me. "I don't think either of you have much of a choice in the matter. You're both traitors now." Xaldin was now close enough to touch me. Behind me, I could feel Demyx trembling. He leaned in so close to me that I could feel his breath on my face as he spoke, "Do you know what we do with traitors?" He ran his hand along my cheekbone, snickering when I slapped it away.

"Don't touch him!" Axel growled, fists trembling at his sides.

I was now sweating from the still-rising temperature of the room. Axel looked like he was about to pop a blood vessel. I had no idea what anyone was talking about anymore but, frankly, I just didn't want to die.

"Do try not to burn your house down, Axel," said Xaldin as he took up my other arm with a surprisingly gentle, but still iron, grip. "What would the neighbors think?" I was beginning to think that sly smirk was permanent.

"Let him go, Xaldin," Axel said, his voice going shaky. "Demyx, don't make me tell you again."

"Uh..." Demyx said, looking up at Xaldin, who shot him a nasty glare and shook his head. "I-I don't think I can d-do that, A-Axel."

Axel's entire frame was beginning to tremble, almost as if he were having some sort of fit. I noticed that the air around him was slightly distorted and that smoke was beginning to rise from the floor at his feet. Xaldin looked at Demyx, then nodded toward Axel. Demyx nodded his understanding and finally let go of me.

"Axel," he said, surprisingly quite calm. He raised his hands a bit, as if to reach out to him.

"Let. Him. GO!" Flame erupted around Axel as he screamed the last word. I tried to jump back when I felt my eyebrows start to singe, but Xaldin was still holding me to the spot.

Just as soon as the flames had come, they were extinguished... by the water streaming from Demyx's hands. It formed a sort of bubble around Axel, smothering the flames, but also effectively suffocating him. I watched in horror as he struggled to breathe, his eyes flickering. Moments before he passed out, he looked at me and mouthed "I'm sorry."

As soon as Axel had lost consciousness, Demyx dropped his hands and the water that had been around Axel lost its form and flooded the living room floor. Axel fell onto the floor as well, soaking wet, but breathing. Even though he was unconscious, seeing him breathing relieved at least part of my fears.

"Give him to Xemnas before he wakes up," Xaldin said with a wave of his hand. "As for you," he sneered, looking at me. "You played a good game of hide-and-seek, little fish, but we finally caught you." He turned to Demyx, who had thrown Axel over his shoulder, and said, "Keep an eye on him. You let him wander off, you'll be next."

Demyx's eyes went wide and he nodded in agreement before taking Axel straight out the front door, glancing back at me for a moment and wincing. I thought I saw him mouth an apology before he, and Axel, disappeared from my sight.

"Axel!" I called after him. "Where are you taking him?" I asked Xaldin.

He smiled and said, "Home."

I cried out when Xaldin's meaty hand struck the back of my head. It wasn't long before my vision went black and I faded into unconsciousness.

* * *

**A/N: OMGWTFBBQ! I was toying with the idea of exactly how to incorporate the Organization, and to be honest I'm still kinda working out the kinks, but I thought this would be as good as any so I ran with it. Thanks so much for all the support I'm getting! You guys rock! Thanks for reading. Please review! :)**


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary**: The bullying that has haunted Roxas for years just became worse. After enduring a very tough break-up with Hayner, the whole school *mysteriously* finds out that he's gay. Will Axel be able to stop Roxas from harming himself when things just get too much to take? Akuroku. **Warning**: Involves physical/sexual abuse.

**Disclaimer**: I own nothing but the storyline!

* * *

When I woke up, I was cold, confused, and face-down in about an inch of water with a headache that threatened to tear my skull wide open. I didn't remember what had happened at first. My head was almost literally killing me and my brain refused to cooperate at all. I looked around to find Demyx sitting on the floor in a corner, worrying at his lower lip and his knees pulled up.

"You," I whispered, narrowing my eyes at the young man. He couldn't have been much older than me.

"You don't remember me, do you?" he asked after a moment of silence, not meeting my piercing gaze.

The question caught me momentarily off guard. "Should I?" I asked.

He sniffled. It looked like he'd been crying. "Of course you wouldn't remember," he said, trying to pull off an obviously fake smile.

"Remember what?" I asked, still confused about everything that anyone had spoken of within the past twenty-four hours. I wanted answers, and I would get them.

"Who you really are," he whispered, almost inaudibly.

"What?" I asked, taken aback.

"You aren't who you think you are, Roxas _Strife_," He said, meeting my gaze now. His words came out in a rush. "You're a Nobody, just like me. Your memories were taken by your sister, Namine, and replaced with memories of a past that doesn't exist." He chuckled halfheartedly, as if this situation was even remotely funny. "Everyone in this town had their memories manipulated into believing that you had been born and raised here when, in fact, you've only been here for a year."

"What?" I asked, denial and horror clear on my face. "That can't be true. What about my family? My mother..." I looked away from him, tears in my eyes. "I remember my mother!"

"I don't know much about this," he said with a sigh. "Namine would be able to give you the full story. But apparently Aerith's murder happened within a year of your supposed birth, so it fit. Namine made Cloud believe he was your father, and sent you to live with him. But she didn't make him hate you."

_I have a sister_, I thought briefly before rage took over. "So you left me in an abusive home to be raped by my own father." I paused. "Did he even rape me, or was that just an added bonus to my memory?" I held my head in my hands to hide more tears. Everything about my past, my life, was crumbling down around me and I had no idea where I would land.

He sighed again and said, "First of all, I didn't leave you here. The Organization had nothing to do with this. You ran away from us. Second, I believe Cloud did, in fact, sexually abuse you, but it happened within the past year. I think Namine pushed the incident farther back in your memory to give you better coping time or something like that."

The tears were streaming down my face now, anger and sorrow mixing into one harsh emotional overload. Nothing was real to me anymore. My whole life had been a lie and I couldn't even remember the supposed truth. My whole life... with the exception of the past year. I looked down at my wrist, tracing the gruesome scar from my suicide attempt. I guess that was my first real memory, which made sense in an odd way. I never really knew why I'd tried to kill myself, even when I was digging the blade into my wrist. Maybe something from my _real _past provoked it. The emotion behind it had been real enough, and it wasn't the first time I remembered feeling guilty about my own existence. Something occurred to me then, and I began to panic as I looked around for Axel, only to remember that he had been taken.

I looked up at the man sitting in front of me. Demyx. He was the one who had carried him out the door. He was the one who had almost drowned him. He was supposedly Axel's friend. I knew that much. Axel had trusted him. Wrongly.

"What about Axel?" I asked, looking away from Demyx. _Please let him be okay_, I thought. _Please let him be... let him be real_.

Demyx flinched at the mention of Axel's name and said, "You and Axel - and me for that matter - aren't supposed to be possible. I kept my emotions after I became a Nobody, which, according to everyone else in the Organization, made me weak. You and Axel... neither of you retained yours, but something... happened when you met. Our hearts have been taken from us, so, normally, we can't feel emotions. But you two... Axel confessed to me a while back that when he first saw you he felt his heart beat for the first time since it fled him. He could _feel _again. You two became very close, almost inseparable. Then when you ran away... Axel went back to being empty. He couldn't feel anymore, but he could remember the way he felt about you. That's what drove him to leave. To find you. He had to find you, and he did."

So he _was _a part of my past, my real life. Even though I didn't know what my real life had been like, it was comforting to know that Axel had been a part of it. He'd loved me before, and he'd come to find me. And it might have just gotten him killed.

"And you took him away," I whispered. "He trusted you and you betrayed him."

Demyx closed his eyes. He looked close to tears when he opened them again and said, "I'm so sorry. They forced me to. You have no idea how strong they are. Xemnas can be... very persuasive and I... I'm sorry! I'm weak! I'm guilty by association and I didn't want what happened to Axel to happen to me! I couldn't handle it if it did." His eyes widened, realizing what he'd just said. "I didn't mean... What I mean is-"

"What happened to Axel?" I asked, a dangerous tone I've never heard from me inching into my voice.

"He..." Demyx said, his eyes darting all over the place. He pulled his knees closer as he said, "Xemnas cut him a deal."

"What kind of deal?" I asked, pressing him for information, and fearing the worst.

"Uh..." he said, fidgeting with his fingers. "Well... He wanted to keep you safe. We all know what happens to t-traitors, and that's what they see you as. So when the Organization caught up to him, Axel pleaded with Xemnas to spare you, and Xemnas has always been very fond of-"

"If I were you, Demyx," said a very familiar voice that sent a chill down my spine. "I would keep my mouth shut from here on out."

Demyx very promptly snapped his mouth shut and nodded as Xaldin passed me. I hadn't even heard him come in. Demyx looked like he was about to shake out of his skin when Xaldin stopped beside him, crouching down to view him at eye-level. He ran a gloved hand along Demyx's jaw and down to his throat. His fingers closed around the younger man's skinny neck, but didn't squeeze.

"You're more trouble than you're worth," he said, barely loud enough for me to hear. "I told you to watch him, not to go spouting off information to him."

I began to inch toward the front door, not really betting I could escape this, but thinking that it was at least worth a shot. Xaldin had his back to me and, though I couldn't really count on Demyx not to give me away, he was trying his best not to look at me with panic in his eyes.

Xaldin, without turning to look at me, said, "And where do you think you're going? You really don't think we'd let you wander off again, do you?"

"I-" I began to say. My words were cut off by a sharp sting on my left cheek as something whipped past my face. I put my hand to my cheek and brought back blood. Turning around, I saw a... lance, still quivering, embedded into the wall behind me. _Where did he keep it?_ I wondered before he spoke again.

"That was a warning," he said, his lips turning up in a smirk. "Try anything again, and the next one's going through your _heart_." He sneered the last word. "Understand?"

I nodded, drawing my lips into a thin line.

He chuckled before turning back to Demyx and saying, "Get off your miserable ass. You've a job to do."

"What?" Demyx asked, getting up immediately, ignoring the water that was running down his cloak.

"Apparently, Xemnas thinks he's more useful as bait," Xaldin said, sounding quite bored, and nodded at me. "An incentive for Axel's good behavior."

Demyx arrived at my side in a moment, taking up my arm again, his grip a little more relaxed this time, and asked, "I take him straight to Xemnas?"

"Of course, you idiot," Xaldin roared, facing us with a sneer.

Demyx gulped, looking at me, and said, "I'm sorry, Roxas."

Before I could ask what he meant, Demyx was pulling me backwards and everything around us went dark.

* * *

**A/N: I've been trying really hard to put together exactly what the Organization would be, so I just decided to let them be Nobodies. :) I know it doesn't exactly fit with the story in KH, but it doesn't have to does it? ;) Thanks for reading. Please review! :)**


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary**: The bullying that has haunted Roxas for years just became worse. After enduring a very tough break-up with Hayner, the whole school *mysteriously* finds out that he's gay. Will Axel be able to stop Roxas from harming himself when things just get too much to take? Akuroku. **Warning**: Involves physical/sexual abuse.

**Disclaimer**: I own nothing but the storyline!

* * *

Demyx pulled me out of the darkness into an expanse of white, which momentarily blinded me. When my eyes adjusted to the shock of sudden brightness, I realized that I was standing in the middle of a large, circular, white room, Demyx still latched onto my arm. That was basically it, no decoration or even furniture, just a big, round, white room. There was a door on either side of the room, however, both leading through to a gently curving staircase, one going up and the other down.

Then I noticed a black spot on the wall directly in front of me. It took me a while to realize that it wasn't just a black spot, but a man dressed in one of those black cloaks everyone seemed to love so much. His skin was a bit darker than Xaldin's or Demyx's, but not overly so. His hair was silver and reached down to the middle of his back, some of it falling over his shoulders. He was turned slightly away from us, and stood with an air of superiority. My first impression was that this was not the kind of guy you'd want to piss off.

Then he turned toward us, meeting my eyes with his intense amber stare, and smiled. I wanted to look away, but I couldn't bring myself to. His gaze captured mine, unwavering, demanding my full attention. I was only able to look away when he momentarily closed his eyes.

"Welcome back, Roxas," the man said, his voice languid and deep.

I didn't say anything in response. I didn't remember ever being here, but if what Demyx told me was true (and I wasn't counting anything out yet), then it really didn't matter because of course I wouldn't remember being here. There was a strange feel to this place that _was _somewhat familiar, but it slightly freaked me out.

When he saw that I wasn't going to answer, he turned to Demyx and said, "Thank you, Demyx, for returning our prodigal son. You can be on your way now. Leave him to me."

Demyx gulped and nodded, loosening his frightful clutch on my bare arm. "You're w-welcome, Xemnas," he said. He glanced back at me once before breaking out into a sprint up the stairs, leaving me hopelessly alone with this man.

"I thought I was some sort of traitor," I said, my voice coming out very small.

Xemnas chuckled, a deep, throaty sound that was so incredibly creepy that it made me shudder uncontrollably and said, "For the time being, your status is questionable, yes. However, your lovely little Axel is working to pay off your debt." He winked at me, making me grimace. I wasn't entirely certain I wanted to know what that meant.

"Where is he?" I asked, inspecting the smooth floor beneath my bare feet. It was so perfectly white and positively immaculate that I didn't even want to be standing on it for fear of leaving a blemish.

"Shall we go see him?" he asked, extending his arm to me.

My instincts screamed, _Run away!_ This man was so... I couldn't even find the words to describe my feelings toward him. He was creepy, definitely someone I didn't want to be around for any length of time, let alone touch. He was just staring at me, his arm held out in waiting for me to take it, with that too friendly smile on his face. His smile was so sickeningly sweet that someone could have easily gone into a diabetic coma from even looking at it, but that sweetness did not touch his eyes. There was something about his cold, amber-orange gaze that told me to keep my guard up and never turn my back to him.

I relented and forced my feet to move toward him. Hesitantly, I laced my arm with his and he pulled me toward the opposite staircase. I felt very vulnerable at the moment and I wished that I'd had the opportunity to put a shirt on before being brought here. Thankfully, there was no skin-to-skin contact between us; I only had to touch his cloak, but even that was still uncomfortable. I felt his eyes constantly on me as we descended the stairs, and I had a hard time keeping from glancing over to meet them.

We went all the way down to the lowest level of this place (or at least, that's where the stairs stopped), all the while he kept quietly humming some repetitive tune to himself. I felt the pressure of his arm increase on mine a few times, pulling me a few inches closer to him, which was a few feet closer than I wanted to be.

He stopped in front of a large white door, a few shades darker than the rest of the white around here, and looked down at me.

He seemed to be waiting for something, so I spoke up, "Is Axel in there?"

He nodded, still not moving.

"We're... going to see him?" I asked, tilting my head a little to the right.

He nodded again, his feet still planted firmly in place.

"What are we waiting for?" I asked.

He grinned wider and shrugged. I was growing frustrated.

After a while, I asked, "Okay, Xemnas, why are we just standing here?" I put my free hand on my hip.

"You haven't done anything that deserves a reward," he stated, like I should have known that from the beginning.

"What?" I asked, blinking a few times.

"Rewards are given for good behavior." He leaned closer to me, bringing his free hand to the small of my back when I tried to pull away. I cringed at the feel of his cold fingers on bare skin. I felt his breath against my ear as he said, "You have to be a good boy."

I shivered, his words reminding me of what Seifer had told me in the locker room. My eyes grew wide as I realized that that's exactly what was going on here. His tone was almost the same.

I pressed my eyes shut and asked, "What do you want me to do?"

He chuckled, still very close to me, and said, "Not much. I only want a kiss."

I bit my lip and said, "No."

"Alright," he said, beginning to pull me back up the stairs. "I'll show you to your room, then."

"Wait, wait," I said, tugging against his arm.

He turned back to me, a sadistic gleam in his eyes. I sighed, for once regretting being proven right. He was definitely a creep, and Lord only knows how deep that sadism actually went, or how far he would go. I definitely did not want to be doing this. I exhaled slowly as I glanced at the door, which now seemed to be mocking me. Axel was just beyond that and I longed to see him, to touch him. I had to know that he was alright, or at least still alive.

"Just one kiss," Xemnas purred.

I sighed again and said, "Just one."

His smile grew, in triumph, and he nodded, moving closer to me again.

"And no tongue," I pressed, holding my hand up.

"No tongue," he confirmed. "But you have to kiss back."

I pressed my lips together, closed my eyes, and nodded. Before I could even mentally prepare myself, I had been backed up against the wall, my personal space totally invaded by the entirety of this man's body. He held my wrists above my head with one hand, his other pressed against my back, leaving no distance between us and also ensuring I couldn't move away.

_I get to see Axel_, I told myself as Xemnas lowered his head far enough for our noses to touch. _For Axel_, I repeated, trying to blink away tears when I felt his mouth on mine. He kept his word about no tongue, but I was sure my lips were going to swell from the pressure. His lips moved against mine and I forced myself not to vomit on him and kiss back. My stomach dropped when I felt his teeth lightly graze over my bottom lip as he pulled away.

I expected him to let me go then, so I was surprised when he didn't automatically release my wrists and move away. His face was still very close to mine and I was becoming more and more uncomfortable by the second. I turned my head, stifling a whimper when I felt his icy nose deliberately nuzzle my jaw. He brought his hand up to my face, tracing down my neck and coming to rest lightly on my chest.

He hummed and breathed, "So beautiful."

I closed my eyes and clamped my mouth shut, forming myself to the wall behind me to get as much space as possible between my body and his. He chuckled in my ear before finally releasing my wrists and stepping away. I stood there for a moment, trying not to visibly tremble. I gulped down the lump in my throat and concentrated on not throwing up. My stomach was churning at what had just occurred and my brain had all but shut down. I took a few deep breaths to calm my heartbeat and looked up to see Xemnas raising an eyebrow at me.

"You had your kiss," I said, trying not to let my disgust run into my voice. "Now let me see Axel." When he didn't answer right away, I forced myself to meet his gaze and added, "Please?"

He smiled and held his arm out for me again. The last thing I wanted to do right now was touch this man again, but I knew he wouldn't let me through the door if I didn't. I reluctantly linked my arm with his and let him lead me into the next room.

* * *

**A/N: DUN DUN DUN! So you'll see what happened to Axel next chapter. He may or may not be dead. . . Okay, he's not dead. o.o Thanks for reading. Please review! :)**


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary**: The bullying that has haunted Roxas for years just became worse. After enduring a very tough break-up with Hayner, the whole school *mysteriously* finds out that he's gay. Will Axel be able to stop Roxas from harming himself when things just get too much to take? Akuroku. **Warning**: Involves physical/sexual abuse.

**Disclaimer**: I own nothing but the storyline!

* * *

I had to work to hold in my gasp when Xemnas brought me into the next room. It was a long hall with a row of cells on each side. They weren't like prison cells. They were all rather large, big enough to hold at least ten people comfortably (at least as comfortably as being locked away would permit), and kept quite clean. There were no benches or any other type of furniture in any of them and the bars up front were probably far enough apart to allow me to slip through. Of course, I was rather skinny, so I don't know about many others. I guess a mix of fear and a lack of anywhere else to go were the only things keeping the smaller prisoners in their cells, though not many were occupied.

Xemnas led me down to the fifth cell on the right. I could see clearly into this cell, but if it weren't for the wild red hair (which still wasn't spiked) I wouldn't have been able to recognize Axel at all. He was laying on his side with his back to the bars and a steel manacle attached to the wall by a heavy-looking chain around his right wrist. I was unable to hold back my tears when I saw him, but at least I was able to choke back any sound.

There were huge, welted, crimson stripes criss-crossing down his back. Dried blood was caked on almost every inch of exposed skin, and he had apparently been led to this cell still bleeding because it had also formed a small pool around him, though it was long since dry. He was still wearing the pajama bottoms from this morning, but they were torn and stained with blood. What I saw of his arm from his shoulder down wasn't too bad, but his wrist was raw from pulling at his cuff.

"Axel," I whispered, covering my mouth with my hands to keep from sobbing.

Immediately, he stiffened, turning his head slightly, but moving no more than that. I tried to count the stripes on his back, but there was so much dried blood that I couldn't sort them all out. I lost count at fourteen.

"Axel," I said again, past the new lump in my throat.

He curled inward slightly, the blood on his back cracking, some flaking off in little rust-colored pieces. When he spoke, his voice was small and broken, "Why are you here?"

"He wanted to see you," Xemnas spoke before I could form any words, amusement in his voice. I wanted to glare at him so badly, but I didn't dare.

"Xemnas," he breathed, struggling to get his voice. He sucked in a sharp breath and continued, "I meant here, in the castle. I thought we agreed. He was free."

"He is," Xemnas said with a sly smile. "But do you honestly want me to send him back to that place, knowing now what he does, and just hope for him to make sense of it alone? I'll keep my word, as long as you keep yours."

"I want to stay," I said, grasping the bars of Axel's cell. I looked back at Xemnas and pleaded, "Please let me stay with him."

"No," Axel breathed. "Roxas..."

"He gave you his word, right?" I asked, pushing my head through the bars. "Nothing's gonna happen to me if I stay." I turned to Xemnas and asked, "You gave him your word, right?"

"Roxas..." Axel said again. He looked like he was trying to turn over, but wasn't getting very far.

"I did," Xemnas assured me.

"Great," I said. "Demyx told me about some kind of deal you two made." I saw Axel stiffen again. "I don't know the details of it, but it seems like as long as you keep your side of it, which you plan to do anyway, even if I'm not here, then nothing bad is going to happen to me. Right?"

"This is true," Xemnas said, still looking very amused.

"Right," I continued. "So if anything bad does happen to me, you don't have to hold up your side of the deal anymore. And trust me, I'll tell you if anything bad happens to me." When Axel didn't protest, I continued, "So I'm staying." There was no way anyone could make me go back to Twilight Town now to just sit there and wait for someone to tell me what was going on.

I considered telling Axel about that kiss, but I figured that it wouldn't count anyway. Besides, it would only upset Axel, causing him more stress than he needed right now. It was probably wrong for me to wish it, but I hoped something would happen to me soon so that Axel would no longer have to uphold the terms of this deal.

Axel let out a strangled huff that I assumed was meant to be a sigh.

I turned to Xemnas again and calmly asked, "Does his end of the deal say that he has to lay there in a cell bleeding all over himself or can he be cleaned up and moved somewhere more comfortable?"

Xemnas thought about this for a moment and said, "Well, he does have to take his punishment alongside yours, and that does mean imprisonment, but..." He placed a finger over his mouth before cupping my chin in his hand and continuing, "for a pretty boy like you, I'm willing to make an exception."

"Xemnas..." Axel growled as best he could.

Xemnas snickered and said, "I'll let him have a room rather than a cell, but he's still under lock-down." He brushed a stray lock of hair behind my ear before tracing my bottom lip with his thumb.

I quickly pulled away, wincing when my back hit the bars, and said, "Fine."

"You can see him again after he's settled," he said, shooing me away from the bars.

"I want to stay with him," I said, holding my ground.

"No can do, even for you," Xemnas said with a false pout. "But you'll see him within the hour."

If it wasn't for the fact that he seemed to be the head honcho around here and, as such, in charge of Axel's care, I would have punched him several times by now. But seeing as how he did seem to be in charge, I would have to just get along as best as I could with him and do my best not to show any disgust.

"Axel," I said as I turned away. "I love you, and I'm sorry, but I'm not gonna leave you alone in this place. I'll see you soon, I promise."

I waited for a few moments, but he didn't answer, so, regrettably, I let Xemnas show me out.

When the door slammed closed behind us, I turned on my heels and said, "I don't know the specifics of this deal, but please don't hurt him."

"Anything that happens to him, he's completely agreed to," Xemnas said with a shrug.

I shivered. I didn't really know everything he was being put through, but I was certain that it was worse than what I saw on the surface. I'd been through a lot, and I knew that he was just trying to keep me from having to go through more, but I didn't want him to have to pointlessly suffer for me, whether he's agreed to it or not. I couldn't stand to see him in so much pain, all for my sake. I knew that if he hadn't made that deal, we'd both have stripes on our backs, but at least then he wouldn't have to carry so many. Even though I apparently didn't remember what I'd done to deserve that, I was willing to take my own punishment to keep him from taking it for me. The problem was, he was much too willing to do exactly that. I knew it would probably hurt him to see me in pain, but, seriously, what was he thinking?

"How long does this go on?" I asked, my voice going flat.

"Pardon?" he asked, moving closer to me. I didn't even register that fact.

"How long does he have to suffer?" I asked, trying not to betray any emotion.

He smiled and said, "It's up to him."

"What exactly does that mean?" I asked.

He chuckled, but said nothing. When I tried to speak up again, he interrupted, "You must be hungry."

Without waiting for an answer, he grabbed my arm and started to tow me up the stairs. "What would you like to eat?" he asked as soon as I got my bearings.

"Uh..." I said, wanting to deny my hunger. I was, in fact, very hungry. The last time I'd eaten anything was Saturday and I wasn't even certain how much time had passed between then and now. It had been at least a full day, but after then I wasn't so sure.

"Oh, dear boy," he said, smiling down at me. "You can have anything you'd like to eat. Just name it." He then went on to name various dishes that I was certain were full of meat and dairy. I had no idea what some of the things he named even were. Deep down, I knew that he was just trying to change the subject. He might have been able to get away with it this time, but I would get my answers.

I decided to go with it, partially to humor him but mainly because, well, I _was _very hungry.

"I'm vegan," I stated.

He stopped for a few seconds and stared at me. "No you're not," he said, like it was the truest thing in the world.

"Yes I am," I said, scrunching my eyebrows.

"Hmm..." he said, ascending the stairs again. "You never were before." He thought about it for a moment before saying, "Ah, Namine." He smiled again and said, "Well, you can still have anything you'd like to eat. I'm sure we can find it somewhere."

"Who's Namine?" I asked. "I mean... I know she's my sister, but..."

"She's Kairi's Nobody," he said, as if that cleared up all of my questions when it really only created more.

We went back to the circular room where I'd first arrived and started up the opposite staircase. It wasn't long before we came to another, smaller, door. Xemnas led me through that door, across what I assumed was a foyer, and up another flight of stairs. We finally arrived in a large dining hall with a long white table. The high-backed chairs around the table, surprisingly, were all a very light shade of gray.

"So tell me what you want and I'll get it for you," Xemnas said, looking intently down at me.

"Sweet potatoes and tofu steak," I said, crossing my arms in front of my bare chest. "And a shirt, please?"

He chuckled and put his hand behind him. I blinked as he disappeared into a swirling black oval, which promptly closed as soon as he had gone. The fact that what had just happened didn't really seem very strange to me made my head spin with questions once again.

Not five minutes later, Xemnas returned (out of the same swirling darkness) with a plate of steaming food in one hand and a black shirt draped over the opposite arm. He tossed me the shirt before setting the plate in front of the nearest chair. I tugged it on. It was a bit of a tight fit, but at least it covered me, and sat down. Xemnas took the seat directly across from me, resting his head in his chin and locking his eyes onto me.

I hesitantly picked at the delicious-looking food on the plate in front of me before asking, "Did you make this?"

He shook his head. Of course five minutes wouldn't have been enough time to properly cook anything. Considering this meal was delightfully steaming, it had to have been already prepared.

"Where did you get it?" I asked before tentatively taking a bite. I couldn't help pulling my lips up into a smile and closing my eyes as I chewed. The food was absolutely amazing. It was most definitely the best tofu steak I'd ever had, much better than the monstrosity I usually created.

I heard Xemnas chuckle from across the table and stopped. I swallowed my food and looked up to find him staring at me with half-closed eyes. He looked like he was enjoying watching me eat. The thought was enough to make me lose my appetite after one bite. I turned in my chair slightly, just enough to still see him out of the corner of my eye. I tried to ignore him as I just about forced myself to continue eating.

I finished my meal as quickly as I could without choking and stood up. Xemnas stood with me, coming around to stand next to me.

"Thanks," I managed to say. "It was good." After a moment of silence, I asked, "When are you going to move Axel?"

"As soon as I'm able," he said with a smile. "Let me show you to your room."

He took my arm again, without waiting for me to comply. Hopefully, he would only show me _to_ my room and not _into_ my room. Hopefully, I would be able to shut the door on him and not have to worry about him for at least a little while.

Incredibly, it seemed I would be able to get rid of him sooner than I thought because as soon as we got back to the foyer, he said, "It seems you have a visitor."

He let go of my arm as I heard the _clink, clink, clink _of fast approaching footsteps. I looked around for the source. Who would want, or know, to visit me here?

Before I even spotted my visitor, I felt someone run into me and wrap their arms tightly around my waist.

* * *

**A/N: So Axel's in pretty bad shape, but he's recovering. I'm not going to be **_**too**_** horrible to him. Thanks for reading. Please review! :)**


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary**: The bullying that has haunted Roxas for years just became worse. After enduring a very tough break-up with Hayner, the whole school *mysteriously* finds out that he's gay. Will Axel be able to stop Roxas from harming himself when things just get too much to take? Akuroku. **Warning**: Involves physical/sexual abuse.

**Disclaimer**: I own nothing but the storyline!

* * *

"Oh, Roxas!" said the small voice against my chest. "I'm so sorry."

The girl lifted her head to look up at me, tears in her large, stunningly blue eyes. _Just like mine_, I realized with a gasp.

She laid her head against my chest again, trying to choke back her quiet sobs. I slowly reached around to hold her tiny, trembling form secure. She went still at this, her right hand making its way up to the back of my head.

"I'm so sorry," she whispered again.

I gasped as images began to flood my mind's eye. They seemed random and nonsensical at first, but they slowly sorted themselves out into coherent memories. I remembered this girl. I remembered being with her in this very room. I remembered talking to her and laughing with her. She had been there for me like no one else could have been. It had been her pure and unconditional love for me that had pulled me back from the brink of insanity several times. She had also been the one who had come to my rescue and had saved my life when I myself had tried to take it. I also vaguely remember seeing her from time to time after my suicide attempt, but those images were blurry.

If only I could remember more. I could clearly see her, remember her, but the situations and settings behind those memories were blank. I could remember us talking, but I couldn't remember clearly what we had been discussing. Our surroundings were simply black. There was nothing else there but her and me, even though in a few of the memories it was clear that there was someone else in the conversation. Well, at least I actually _remembered_ who she was.

"Naminé," I breathed, my hand smoothing her light blond hair in a comforting gesture. _My sister_.

"Roxas..." she said, pulling back to look at me again with a sniffle. "I'm sorry I made you forget. It was for your own good, you know." She closed her eyes and continued, "I'm working on rebuilding your memories, but it may take a while. I've taken down the blocks I put up, so you should start to be getting them back soon."

"I remember you," I said. "But it's confusing." I scrunched my eyebrows.

"I'm sorry," she said, biting her lip. "It'll be confusing for a while, but hopefully you'll be able to piece things together yourself now. You just need the right triggers." She eyed Xemnas as he left the room, pulling out of my embrace. "He hasn't hurt you, has he?"

I cringed and said, "Not really. But... Axel..."

She winced and said, "Of course. Poor Axel."

"He hasn't hurt you either, has he?" I asked, afraid of the answer.

She smiled and said, "Oh, no. He wouldn't. He doesn't fancy females."

A horrid realization dawned on me at her words. I gulped and asked, "He isn't... doing anything... like that... to Axel is he?" _Oh, please, no_.

She bowed her head and said, "I...I don't know, Roxas. I'm rather surprised he hasn't tried anything with _you_ yet." She shut her eyes with a grimace.

"Technically...?" I said, shoving my hands in my pockets and lowering my gaze.

"Oh, Roxas, please tell me he didn't-"

"He kissed me," I said, before she could finish her thoughts.

She blanched and backed away a few steps. I saw tears welling up in her eyes before she turned away. I envied her the ability to hide behind her hair.

"But nothing's going to happen to me," I assured her. "He promised Axel..."

She turned around to look at me and both of our eyes grew wide, hers in fear and mine in realization. It had never occurred to me just how much trouble Axel could possibly be in. Xemnas had promised not to harm me, to leave me alone. I knew he wouldn't, couldn't, kiss me again, but it never really occurred to me _why_.

"Roxas..." she whispered, hiding her face in her hands after seeing my expression.

"Axel's taking it for me," I said, the words like poison to me as they took on new meaning. He _was_ taking it for me. He was taking _everything_ for me. "Idiot!" I sank to my knees. "Why is he doing that?" I fell forward, my hands barely catching me. "Why is he...?" Tears were now accumulating on the pristine white floor beneath me, some falling onto my hands. I couldn't hold them back. I could only watch as more and more fell, ever increasing in their pace.

I felt Naminé kneel beside me, wrapping her arms around my shoulders. Without thinking, I curled into her arms, feebly clutching at her white dress.

She rubbed my back as she said, "Axel loves you, Roxas. He loves you with everything he has. He wants to protect you from anything that would harm you, even if that means bringing harm to himself."

"Seems foolish," I said, still crying uncontrollably.

"Maybe," she said, smoothing my hair. "But wouldn't you do the same thing if you were in his position? Wouldn't you do everything you could to prevent the one you love from having to go through even more pain then he's already endured?"

"Of course I would," I said with a sniffle. "But it seems unfair. He's taking all this pain for me, but expects me just to be fine with it? Why can't I do the same for him? Why can't I be the one to suffer?"

I felt Naminé wince at my words as she asked, "Roxas... do you remember the events leading up to your decision to run away?"

"No," I said with a huff.

"It's not something I want to make you remember," she sighed. "It's not something I want you to have to remember at all, but it would help you understand why Axel is doing this for you now. You've already suffered enough."

I closed my eyes, remembering bits and pieces of the night I ran away from this place. I remembered leaving, and I remembered Axel trying to convince me to stay. He couldn't leave with me. But what made me want to leave in the first place? What could have happened to make me run away, to leave Axel alone? _I left Axel_. The thought made me start to hate myself. I'd never forgive myself for leaving him.

I clutched at my wrist. Was the reason I left also the reason behind my attempted suicide? I knew now that part of it had been guilt, but there was also something deeper. There was something darker behind it, something that was just beginning to pick its way into my memory. But what was it?

I remembered the night it happened.

_I'd been on watch, and I'd just gotten finished. I was back in my room, glad for the silence. Demyx had been overly energetic that night, rambling on about Zexion, and it had been about to drive me crazy. I laid there on my bed, looking out at the heart-shaped moon. _Kingdom Hearts_. Every once in a while, I would see a glow signifying another heart had been added, and would sigh at the sight. For me, the effort to regain the hearts we had lost was futile. I already had mine, or as much of it as I could possibly ever want. I wondered when Axel would get off duty_.

_Suddenly, there was a knock on my door_.

The memory faltered, cutting off there. I wanted it to continue. I needed that vital piece of information. I needed it more than my breath. I had to know what had happened that night. What had forced my decision to run? I knew I'd been considering it before the incident, but that was what sealed the deal. But what had happened? What had Axel so keen on sacrificing himself to shield me from this pain? What made him think it would be too much?

"I don't remember," I sobbed into Naminé's shoulder. "I can't see it."

"It's okay," she said, laying her head on top of mine. "Shh, it's alright."

"No it's not," I whispered. I needed to see what happened. "What happened to me?"

"I can't say," she said. I felt her tears dropping onto my face, running down my cheeks, mixing with my own.

"I have to know," I said, my voice breaking. "Naminé, please."

She sighed and said, "I don't want to make you remember this... but I'll try to take you through it." She sighed again. "Roxas... do you remember when Xemnas kissed you today?"

I cringed, confirming her words with a nod. I didn't want to remember that, but I could still feel his hands on me. I could still feel...

_His hands... everywhere.  
_

"Do you remember... anything else about that?" she asked, her voice so small I had to strain to hear it.

"I... I don't know," I said with a sniffle, clutching my head in my hands. "I... He... What...?"

"Do you remember that night?" she asked calmly. "The night before you ran away."

"I... yeah... a little." I closed my eyes, trying to will myself to remember. "Demyx and I were on watch. He was being annoying, wanting advice on whether or not to tell Zexion he loved him. I told him he wouldn't care and probably already knew. It's not like Zexion could love him back. Then he started to cry. I hate it when Demyx cries."

"What happened then?" she asked, her voice breaking slightly. She cleared her throat and said, "When you got back."

"Demyx went to see Zexion... and I went back to my room. Someone knocked..." What then? What happened?

"It's okay, Roxas," she said, wiping a stray tear off of my neck before moving her hand to my shoulder.

My eyes widened and I slapped her hand away. "Don't touch me!" I scrambled away from her, backing up to the wall behind me. I wrapped my arms around my torso and brought my knees to my chest. It was a while before I was able to breathe normally and look up. Naminé was holding her hand to her chest, looking at me with wary eyes.

I took a deep breath and said, "I'm sorry."

She nodded and said, "It's okay. I know this is difficult for you. We can stop now."

"No," I said, pulling myself to my feet. "I have to remember." I looked around the room, spotting the hallway off to the left, just before a second staircase. "Take me to my room."

"Alright," she said, getting up and wiping the back of her dress. As if any dirt would be there.

"No, I mean... my old room." I headed toward the hallway. "The one I stayed in when I was here before. It's through here right?"

I heard her sigh before taking her place in front of me and leading me down the hallway. Maybe if I went back to where it happened, I would be able to remember. I had to remember... but I was afraid to find out.

* * *

**A/N: I might be a little late in uploading the next chapter. I have a paper due Monday night that I haven't even started on yet. O.O So sorry if I don't upload as fast as I normally do. Thanks for reading. Please review! :)**


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary**: The bullying that has haunted Roxas for years just became worse. After enduring a very tough break-up with Hayner, the whole school *mysteriously* finds out that he's gay. Will Axel be able to stop Roxas from harming himself when things just get too much to take? Akuroku. **Warning**: Involves physical/sexual abuse.

**Disclaimer**: I own nothing but the storyline!

* * *

"Here we are," Naminé said as she pulled open the door to my room.

I walked inside, taking a look around. The room was relatively small, but still big enough for me to be comfortable in. It was almost as big as my bedroom back home... if home is really what I could call it. Everything in this room (big surprise) was a varying shade of white or light gray, although I was pleased to actually find some blue there as well. The sight almost made me jump with joy. _Blue!_ There was actually some form of color here! It wasn't much, just a blanket and a few trinkets, but it still came as a relief to me. The bed stood against the west wall, with about a foot of space between it and the north wall, which held a small window. It couldn't quite be called a window, however. It was more like a square hole in the wall, looking out over the Dark City below. Other than the bed, there was a small writing desk with a straight-backed chair at the east wall. Various items were strewn across the floor.

"Axel insisted they keep it exactly as you left it," Naminé said, tentatively coming over to stand beside me. The corner of her mouth pulled upward in a small smile as she continued, "He liked to sleep in here sometimes. Well... most of the time. He refused to even leave this room the first week you were gone, and he still spent most of his nights in here before he left."

"I thought..." I said, confused. "Demyx said he lost his emotions after I left." Another way I'd hurt him.

"He did..." she said, pulling her lips together. "But it was... gradual. He was a wreck the first few days. Then he stopped crying. Then he came out of your room. Then he started eating again. Then he stopped fighting. Then he stopped... feeling." She sighed. "And then, he left."

I sat down on the edge of my bed and sighed. It was so strange being back here. Admittedly, it was very familiar and I could vaguely remember spending time in this room, but I still barely remembered anything. My hopes of my memories suddenly returning by being back here had all but vanished, but I wasn't giving up on getting them back.

"I hurt him, Naminé," I said, falling backwards onto the mattress. "I scarred him."

She scoffed and said, "You _saved_ him, Roxas. Do you even know how extremely happy you make him?"

"Under the right circumstances," I said, lifting my head. "Probably." I locked my fingers behind my head and laid back. "But I hurt him when I left, and now I'm hurting him again."

"You're not-"

"Thanks for trying to reassure me, Naminé," I said. "But it doesn't matter whether or not he _chose_ anything. I'm still the reason behind his pain." I rolled onto my side, my back to her.

"Roxas..." she whispered.

"I'm sorry," I said with a sigh. "I guess I just need time to think."

"I'll leave you alone then," she said.

I heard her footsteps retreating and said, "Thank you. Could you come back and get me when Axel is settled? Please."

"Of course," she said, before closing the door behind her.

I curled into a loose ball, trying not to think too much. No matter what Naminé, or anyone else, said, I would probably never stop blaming myself for what was happening, or what had already occurred. I didn't want Axel to ever have to experience the kind of pain that he had. I wished it could have been me down there bleeding in a cell instead of him. He probably felt exactly the same way about _me_, which was why he was suffering right now.

I turned my head into the pillow, resisting the urge to scream, and instead inhaled deeply through my nose. If Axel had slept here, I hoped that even after after a year there would be some remnant of his scent. There was something there, but I could just barely make it out. It wasn't enough to satisfy me. I gave up on trying to smell Axel and gazed at the black sky out the window.

I hadn't even been laying there for ten minutes before there was a knock at my door.

"Who is it?" I asked. Surely Naminé couldn't be back to get me already.

The door creaked open, revealing sinister amber eyes. Xemnas made his way into my room, towering over me. Before I even had time to sit up, he was on me. He straddled my waist, pinning my hands down on either side of my face. His hair pooled around me, some of it tickling my face as he gazed down at me, not bothering to hide the lust in his eyes.

"Roxas," he whispered, his breath ghosting over my skin. "It's been a while since we were together like this. I know you've long since forgotten our last sensuous encounter, but..." He licked his lips, "...I sure haven't."

I wanted to scream, to cry for help. Surely someone would hear me over the still silence of this place. Before I could, his mouth was on mine, so much rougher than before. His teeth tore into my lower lip, forcing open my mouth before shoving his tongue into the space. I became lightheaded very quickly, a thin layer of sweat coating my body, and I was sure I was about to vomit. It was almost like that time Olette had talked me into giving blood. I just hoped I wouldn't pass out. No telling what Xemnas would do to me if I did.

When he finally released my mouth, I gulped in a shallow breath and said, "You promised Axel you wouldn't-"

My words were silenced by a hand over my mouth.

"What Axel doesn't know won't hurt him," he said with a smile. "Or will it?" He chuckled, leaning over to trail kisses down my neck, biting at the base of my throat.

"W-What did you do to Axel?" I asked, hot tears spilling over into my hair.

"Nothing," he said, humming against my neck. He pulled up to look into my eyes as he said, "Yet." He chuckled again and said, "But when I'm through with him, he'll beg me for it just like you did."

"No..." I said, whimpering as he pressed his hand against my groin. "I didn't. I-"

"Roxas," he hissed into my ear.

"Don't..." I pleaded, trying to fight him off.

"Roxas, stop," his voice was distorted, almost like I was hearing it through water.

"Get off me!" I shouted, bucking my hips.

"Roxas!" a very feminine-sounding Xemnas said. "Roxas, wake up!"

My eyes shot open and I sat up, much too quickly. My head was spinning and my clothes and hair were damp with sweat. I clutched my skull and flopped back onto the bed. A small hand touched my shoulder, azure eyes searching my face.

"Naminé," I breathed, relief flooding through me. "It was a dream," I said, gulping in air.

"Yeah," she said, helping me sit up.

I propped myself against the wall behind me, trying to calm my heart. _What a nightmare_, I thought. I looked around, noting the damp, rumpled sheets that were still clutched in one hand. I let go of them, looking down at my wrists. Slight finger marks were beginning to show from when Xemnas had restrained me earlier. _No_, I realized with a gulp. It hadn't been a dream. Well, it had, but something very similar had taken place in this room only a year ago. _I... I remember_.

"Are you okay?" Naminé asked, reaching up to press her hand against my sweat-covered forehead.

"You know what happened, don't you?" I asked without looking at her.

"Roxas," she said, her hand frozen in midair. I saw her bite her lip out of the corner of my eye.

"You know what he did to me," I said, pulling my knees to my chest and closing my eyes.

"I..." she said with a sigh, dropping her hand. "Yes. I know. I saw all of your memories when I took them. I'm sorry."

"And Axel knows too," I said. "Does everyone know?" I cracked an eye to look at her blank expression.

"Only Axel and Demyx," she assured me. "Axel came looking for you when he thought you stood him up. He found you... like that." She gulped and I swore I saw tears escape her eyes. I glanced over at her. Yep, tears.

I chuckled halfheartedly and said, "Yeah, he has a knack for doing that."

She searched my face, an unspoken question in her eyes.

"I was, uh..." I winced, "...assaulted... in the locker room at school. Axel found me then too." I managed a weak smile before resting my head on my knees.

"Oh, Roxas!" she breathed, suddenly wrapping her arms around my shoulders. "I'm so sorry. I should have done something. I should have-"

"What could you have done, Naminé?" I asked, lifting my eyes for a moment. "It wasn't your fault. I'm just... unlucky, I guess."

"Luck has nothing to do with it," came a voice from the doorway. That voice made my blood chill as it said, "Did you know that thirty-nine percent of rape victims are raped again in their lifetime?" He chuckled, his eyes moving up and down my body. "You're not unlucky, just too _gorgeous_ for your own good."

"Xemnas," I spat, swinging my legs off of the bed. "What are you doing here?"

"I merely came to inform you that Axel has been moved." He smiled, taking a step closer to us. "You can see him now, if you'd like."

As he crossed the short distance between us, Naminé shifted so that she was now in front of me, shielding me from any direct harm.

"Oh, that's precious," Xemnas said as he stopped directly in front of her, "but unnecessary."

He reached past her, ignoring her protests, and grabbed my arm. He pulled me off the bed and out the door before I even had a chance to properly get to my feet. Only after he'd led me halfway through the castle, down the opposite hallway, did he finally let me go.

I snatched my hand away and said, "Don't _touch_ me," with as much venom as I could manage.

"Now, now," he said, messing my hair. I glared at him. "Don't be that way."

"I will _be_ whatever _way_ I _want_ to be, thank you," I huffed.

He simply shrugged and said, "This is Axel's room. He can't leave it, but you're free to come and go as you please." He winked at me before sauntering off.

I took a minute to compose myself before pushing open the slightly cracked door of his room, knocking on the doorpost as I did so.

**A/N: I don't know the exact statistic for rape victims. It could have changed, so don't quote me on that. Also, I really have no idea what most of the interior of The Castle That Never Was actually looks like other than cutscenes and gameplay, but I know it's more than that so I'm kinda making it up as I go along. Yay, I managed to upload today! Don't know about the next chapter though. But Axel will finally come back into the picture and probably won't be leaving it again for a while. Thanks for reading. Please review! :)**


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary**: The bullying that has haunted Roxas for years just became worse. After enduring a very tough break-up with Hayner, the whole school *mysteriously* finds out that he's gay. Will Axel be able to stop Roxas from harming himself when things just get too much to take? Akuroku. **Warning**: Involves physical/sexual abuse.

**Disclaimer**: I own nothing but the storyline!

* * *

Axel's room was almost exactly like mine. The only difference was that it was remarkably better kept with a lack of significant color. There was also a small bookshelf to my left.

Axel was lying face-down on his bed, the crimson stripes on his back now clearly distinguishable since the excess blood had been washed away. The only movement he made when I came in was turn his head toward me.

"Hey," I said, my voice small. I tried to smile, but I couldn't erase the uneasiness and worry in my eyes.

"Hey," he whispered in return.

"Are you okay?" I asked, coming over to kneel next to his bed and taking his hand in mine.

He chuckled, though it sounded more like a strangled cough, and said, "No. Not really."

"What happened?" I asked. At the 'that should be obvious' look on his face, I said, "I mean... It's obvious what happened... but..." I bit my lip.

He suddenly took his hand from mine and managed to get himself onto his hands and knees, wincing as he did so. He slowly lowered his feet to the floor and turned himself over so that he was now in a sitting position. He patted the space beside him and, taking the cue, I sat down next to him.

I looked him over now that I could see more of him. If possible, the front of him was just as bad as his back. His entire torso was almost solid purple, but with varying shades. I could see small scars, still red with blood, dotting his chest. They were each about three inches long and looked very deep. His face was hidden behind a curtain of his hair. I didn't really know if I wanted to see it.

I eyed the scars on his back and asked, "How many...?"

"Twenty," he said without hesitation. "Ten for each of us. I would have gotten them Saturday, but..." He held his head in his hands, resting his elbows on his knees, "...I ran away."

"So..." I said, choosing my words carefully. "That's where you went Friday night?"

He nodded and said, "Just about every time I've run off like that, I've been meeting with Xemnas. When I met him on Tuesday, he found out that I had found you and he decided to cut me a deal, but hadn't decided quite what he would do. On Wednesday, we discussed the terms of this deal. Friday, I was supposed to carry out those terms, but it didn't work out that way."

"Is that why you..." I asked, biting my lip. "When you got back on Saturday... is that why you were upset?"

"Yeah," he breathed, glancing at me through his hair. "I'm sorry I... Well, I'm sorry I was so pushy when I got back."

I smiled slightly and said, "No problem. I thoroughly enjoyed your pushiness." He chuckled, almost sounding like a normal chuckle. "I was just worried about you."

"I know," he sighed. "It's just... Xemnas..." He clenched the sheets in his fists as he continued, "He was boasting to me about you. He was _gloating_ about how he had taken you before I had the chance, and that now he was doing the same with me. He described to me... in detail... _everything_ he did to you." I heard the fabric of the sheets tear in his grip. "I knew what happened, but you never told me details. He told me all of it, even had the nerve to compare us."

"Axel..." I said, lightly laying my hand on his arm when I felt the temperature rising. "It's okay..." I said, my voice breaking.

He looked at me, his eyes searching mine as he said, "No it's not. I'm sorry, Roxas."

Thankfully, from what I saw of his face, it wasn't damaged at all, but when he closed his eyes and I saw tears streaming down his face... it almost broke me. I knew Axel had cried before, but I had never actually _seen_ him cry. It was completely heartbreaking, especially when he began to tremble with his sobs. He leaned into me, but I was afraid to hold him because of his injuries. I ran my fingers through his freshly washed hair and tried to calm him the best I could.

"What's to be sorry for?" I asked. "It's not your fault."

"I could have helped you," he whimpered. "I just sat there, waiting for you while he... If I had gone looking for you sooner... I could have stopped him."

"Axel," I said, holding his face between my hands. "I don't blame you for anything. You've been nothing but kind to me my entire... existence. The fact that you were there to come looking for me at all makes me incredibly lucky. You've saved me so many times I've almost lost count. And you're still saving me. Axel, as much as it pains me to say this, do you have any idea what Xemnas would be doing to me_ right now _if you weren't here to stop him? As much as I hate seeing you in pain, I know you're doing this because it would hurt you more to see me suffer the same way. You shouldn't have to be doing this at all, but you are helping me, even if I can't stand seeing you like this. If anything, I should be apologizing to _you_."

He leaned in and lightly pressed his lips to mine, almost falling over in the process. "I love you," he whispered against my cheek.

I wiped his tears away with my thumb before saying, "I love you too, you idiot pyromaniac."

He chuckled, for real this time. The sound made me smile. Maybe he was getting better.

"What's up with that, anyway?" I asked.

"Huh?" he asked, scrunching his eyebrows and looking up at me.

"You... caught fire," I said, cocking my head to the side.

"I thought you remembered now," he said, sitting up.

"Some things, yeah," I said, running my hand through my hair, wincing when I touched the spot where Xaldin had hit me.

"Ah," he said with a smile. "Well, I didn't catch fire, Roxas. I made the fire."

"Ex...plain?" I asked, now slightly confused.

"Well, they don't call me the 'Flurry of Dancing Flames' for nothing. Fire is my weapon, Roxas. Usually, I can control it pretty well, but sometimes when I get too angry it just kinda... sets me off."

"Oh..." I said, looking down. "That makes sense. And Demyx has water, right? Does everyone have some sort of freaky power type thing?"

He chuckled, coughing a little bit at the end, and said, "I guess you can say that."

"Oh..." I said again, wincing as I asked, "What's... uh... What freaky power does Xemnas have?"

"Nothing," Axel said, his voice going a bit dark.

"He doesn't have one?" I asked, a little taken aback.

"No I mean..." he sighed. "His power is nothingness."

"I see," I said, not quite understanding. "And, uh, and mine?"

He smirked and said, "Light. Kinda odd for a Nobody if you ask me."

"Maybe," I said with a sigh, absentmindedly rubbing the back of Axel's hand with my thumb.

"This has to stop," he said suddenly, making me jump.

"What?" I asked, not understanding what he meant.

"Xemnas," he said, closing his eyes. "He thinks he can do whatever he wants just because he's our leader. He thinks he can go around playing games with our emotions. He likes to toy with us. It's fun for him to see us react emotionally. It has to stop." A slow smile spread on his face as he said, "Let's just see what happens when I'm well enough to stand on my own two legs again."

"Axel, I don't think-" I began.

"Axel?" said a voice on the other side of the door. My eyes widened when Demyx poked his head inside. "Can I come in?"

* * *

**A/N: I have to clear something up, since this is the third time someone has pointed this out to me. In Chapter 7, when Roxas looks at Axel's phone, he's looking at the call log for the last incoming call, not the pop-up message for the text. It was Saix that called Axel. Demyx sent him the text. The number wasn't a mistake, but I guess I should have made that a little clearer. I appreciate all the people who have given me constructive criticism. It really helps. Thanks for reading. Please review! :)**


	22. Chapter 22

**Summary**: The bullying that has haunted Roxas for years just became worse. After enduring a very tough break-up with Hayner, the whole school *mysteriously* finds out that he's gay. Will Axel be able to stop Roxas from harming himself when things just get too much to take? Akuroku. **Warning**: Involves physical/sexual abuse.

**Disclaimer**: I own nothing but the storyline!

* * *

"Demyx," Axel sneered, wincing as he tried to stand up.

"Axel, wait," I said, holding his shoulders. "Don't push yourself."

"What do you want?" he asked, glaring over my shoulder at Demyx.

Demyx sidled into the room, gently closing the door behind him, and sighed. "I want to apologize," he said, inspecting Axel's condition. "You look like shit."

"Oh no, really?" he sarcastically asked. "Damn. I thought this was the new look, but maybe I went a little overboard. Thanks for your input, though."

"Axel..." he said, pulling his lips together. "I know nothing I say can change what happened, but I am sorry."

Axel waved away his words, turning his head away, and said, "If you were sorry, you wouldn't have betrayed me in the first place."

"I didn't have a choice!" he said, his voice rising several octaves. It broke as he said, "He threatened Zexion!"

"He was most likely never going to touch him," Axel said, his eyes meeting Demyx's with full intensity. "He just told you that to get you to cooperate. He knows how to play us, Dem. He knows just what buttons to push to influence us into following him. And you just had to go and tell him the _truth_ about everything. Are you really that _stupid_, Demyx?"

Demyx's eyes went wide and his lower lip started to tremble. Somewhere in the back of my mind I thought, _Oh God, he's going to cry again_. His breath started coming in short, shallow bursts as he sank to his knees and held his head between his hands.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, his tears dropping onto the smooth, white floor. "I didn't mean to... I'm sorry."

"Demyx..." I said, biting my lip as I reached out to the older blond. I really did hate to see him cry.

"Roxas," he sobbed, clutching my arm in such a way that I had to half stoop to maintain my balance. "I'm sorry. Xemnas knew that I'd kept contact with Axel while he was gone. He was gonna give him some space, but he made me tell him everything that I knew about what had been going on, especially after he'd found you. So of course he was furious. I'm the reason he came after him like he did."

I looked back at Axel. His eyebrows were pulled together and his lips had formed a hard line, but I could tell that he was at least slightly sympathetic.

"It's not really his fault, Axel," I said, throwing him a pleading glance. "Xemnas manipulated him."

Axel sighed and muttered, "Idiot," before saying aloud, "Yeah... I guess I can't really hold it against him." He sighed again, running a hand through his hair. "Okay, Dem. You keep on my good side and I'll think about forgiving you."

Demyx's head shot up immediately, an ecstatic smile spreading across his face as he asked, "Really?" Axel nodded. Before I could stop him, Demyx leaped up, sprinting across the short distance, and tackled Axel in an enthusiastic hug. "Oh, thank you, Axel! Thank you, thank you, thank you!"

Axel collapsed onto his bed under the pressure with a thud and squeaked, "Ow." He winced and said, "Demyx..." He hissed as he tried to shift his weight. "Off. Please?"

"Oh!" Demyx said as he scrambled to get up, accidentally kneeing Axel in the groin in the process. "Oh my God! I'm so sorry!" He looked horrified as Axel curled into himself.

"Demyx..." he wheezed when he could speak again. "I'm gonna kill you."

Demyx was nervously biting his lips as Axel managed to pull himself back into a proper sitting position. I heard him mutter a small apology every time Axel winced. I sat down next to him as soon as he was situated.

"So... uh..." Demyx said, worrying at his lip.

Axel chuckled and said, "You just wait until I heal up. I'll get you back for that." He sucked in a breath and said, "Karma's a bitch."

Demyx giggled nervously, his eyes shifting from side to side. He cleared his throat and said, "But, uh, we're cool right? I mean... you guys are my best friends. I don't wanna lose that just cuz... I'm an idiot."

Axel smiled and said, "Yeah. We're cool." When Demyx started to bounce on his heels, he added, "For now. Just don't do anything stupid."

"Cross my heart," he said, tracing an 'X' over his chest with his fingertip, a sheepish grin on his face.

"So, Demyx..." I said, trying to find some way of clearing away the awkward feeling in the air. "I remember you talking about Zexion before. What's going on with that?"

Axel sent me a sideways glance that seemed to say, "Oh, now you've done it," as Demyx sat himself down on the floor and started babbling on about Zexion, waving his arms around as he spoke. Surprisingly, what he said actually helped to jog my memory. Amazingly, I started to remember a lot about the mysterious illusionist. I definitely remembered Demyx talking about him several times before.

Zexion was a very patient and polite fellow who always had his nose in a book and never really wanted to be disturbed. I knew that he was exceedingly loyal to the Organization and took his job very seriously. I also knew that Demyx and Axel (though Axel more for Demyx's sake) hoped that Zexion could be swayed to help us.

Apparently, in the year I had been gone, Demyx and Zexion had become an item. I knew, as Demyx did, that Zexion didn't really have emotions, but that he was able to be compassionate to an extent. This compassion almost bordered on true emotions, but didn't really cut it. I'd like to believe that, somehow, Zexion actually cared for Demyx in a way and wasn't just in this for the hell of it. Demyx did deserve to be happy, and it would break his heart if Zexion ended up to be simply using him.

About five minutes into a full-blown monologue about how great things were coming along with Zexion, the door to Axel's room flew open, banging against the wall so suddenly that it made Demyx almost jump through the ceiling. I looked up to see Xemnas standing in the doorway with a sly grin plastered onto his face.

"Can't you knock?" Axel growled.

"You two," Xemnas said, motioning between Demyx and me. "Out."

I stood up as Demyx went to slip past Xemnas out of the room. He quickly turned back around, his eyes wide with astonishment when I placed myself between Xemnas and Axel and said, "No." I met Xemnas's eyes with determination in my gaze and said, "This has gone far enough, Xemnas. This madness has to end."

* * *

**A/N: Sorry for not updating in a while. I've been so busy with school. o.O Anyway, we're out for Thanksgiving holiday, so I've got a week off BUT... we have finals the week we go back so I should probably be studying. I'll try to get in another chapter here and there along the way though. Thanks for reading. Please review! :)**


	23. Chapter 23

**Summary**: The bullying that has haunted Roxas for years just became worse. After enduring a very tough break-up with Hayner, the whole school *mysteriously* finds out that he's gay. Will Axel be able to stop Roxas from harming himself when things just get too much to take? Akuroku. **Warning**: Involves physical/sexual abuse.

**Disclaimer**: I own nothing but the storyline!

* * *

Demyx's knees were wobbling so badly that it was a wonder he didn't just drop right to the floor when Xemnas lightly shoved him out of the way. Instead, he slumped against the wall, eyes wide as Xemnas glided toward me, an amused smirk playing at his lips.

He leaned in close to me, so close that I could feel his breath ghosting across my the skin of my cheek as he whispered, "That's... an order."

I forced myself to stand my ground, never letting my gaze waver as I looked him straight in the eye and said, "Axel is recovering. At least wait until he's strong enough to move on his own."

"Roxas, Roxas," Xemnas sighed, closing his eyes and shaking his head. He looked back at me, raising an eyebrow, and said, "I've agreed not to turn either of you into Dusks, but only because that would be a shameful waste of your beautiful humanoid forms. However, if you keep defying me like this, you'll leave me with little other choice."

"You're sick," I spat, slapping away the hand that was raised to brush my cheek.

Xemnas chuckled, taking a step back to allow me some breathing room, and asked, "Would you act as his stand-in then?"

I heard Axel shift behind me, shouting, "No!" at the same time I whispered, "Yes."

"Roxas..." Axel breathed, the pain in his voice clear.

Xemnas laughed, almost convincingly, and said, "Oh, that _is_ precious. I might take you up on that offer later, but right now I need to discuss something with Axel privately."

"You won't touch him, Xemnas!" Axel shouted. I could feel him trying to get to his feet. "I won't allow it!"

"Ah," Xemnas said with a smile. "But if he consents..."

"He won't!" Axel sneered, giving up on trying to stand.

"I believe he just did," Xemnas said with a sinister grin.

"He didn't mean-" Axel began.

"That's quite enough," Xemnas said, his voice rising from it's usual monotone. "Both of you, out. Now."

I started to protest, but Demyx strode over to me, took my arm and said, "Come on, Roxas. We should go. Bye, Axel."

I looked back as Demyx was towing me out of the room to see Axel rolling his eyes. I caught his gaze just as the door closed behind us.

I stood there for a while, just staring at the door, before Demyx spoke, "I know how you feel." He took a deep breath and said, "I was just as uneasy when he was behind closed doors with Zexion."

"Yeah," I said, not taking my eyes off of the door. "But there wasn't as much at stake with Zexion, was there? Not as much risk." I put my forehead against the door, hearing nothing from within the room, and said, "I wonder what they're talking about."

"I'm sure Axel will tell you," Demyx said, patting my shoulder. "Hey, I know what'll cheer you up!" I glanced over at him as a goofy grin spread over his face, his eyes took on a strange sort of twinkle, and he said, "Sea salt ice cream!"

"I'm vegan," I said, with a sigh. "I don't eat ice cream unless it's soy."

His jaw dropped and, when he composed himself, he said, "You've... never turned down... sea salt ice cream before."

"Sorry," I said, pushing myself away from the door. "Is it possible to make it from soy?" At this point, I really didn't care about the ice cream. I just wanted to give Demyx something to do to occupy his time... other than crying.

"Uh..." he said, resting his chin in his hand. "I'm sure there's a recipe somewhere. Come on."

He took my arm, leading me off in search of an infamous vegan sea salt ice cream recipe. Our search took us through a large part of the castle and, even though he lived here, Demyx got lost twice. This made me realize just how enormous this castle really was.

About an hour later, we arrived in the library. Upon entering the library, I almost fainted. I'd never seen so many books in one place in my entire life. It was much larger than the public library back in Twilight Town. It was safe to assume that it was about the same size as Axel's house, if not bigger. All the shelf space had been used up and there were even more books in large piles here and there. While Demyx went off to search numerous cookbooks, I discovered a sitting area in the center of the labyrinth of bookshelves with a sofa, a love-seat, two armchairs, and a round table in the middle. A young man with silvery blue hair that hung long over his right eye occupied one armchair. His legs were elegantly crossed and a book laid open in his lap.

Without looking up from his book, he said, "Your scent is different, but of course, it would be. Even so, I recognized you the moment you arrived." His visible, aqua colored left eye stared into mine as he said, "Welcome back, Roxas."

"Zexion..." I said, moving out from between two rows of bookshelves.

"You remember me," he said, tilting his head slightly to the right. "I didn't expect you would."

"I didn't expect to either," I admitted, running a hand through my hair. "Demyx jogged my memory."

Zexion smirked and said, "He does enjoy chatter."

"Do you..." I said, biting my lip. "I'm sorry, but I feel like I have to ask."

"Yes?" he asked, raising his head.

"Do you love him?" I asked, glancing down at my feet before looking back up.

Zexion turned his head, his expression blank. After a few moments, he bowed his head and said, "I can't."

I sighed. I knew that Zexion didn't feel as strongly toward Demyx as Demyx did toward him, but I had hoped that he would at least feel _something_ for him.

Zexion stood and closed his book, leaving it on the chair behind him. "Walk with me," he said, moving over to me. He wasn't much taller than me, I noted with an inward smile.

"But..." I said as he began to walk past me, "...Demyx."

He paused, lifting a hand to his face. After a brief moment, he lowered his hand and said, "He's upstairs. If he is looking for something... it will probably take him a fair amount of time."

"Alright," I said, looking up at the upper section of the library before following Zexion into the mass of bookshelves.

"Tell me, Roxas," Zexion said, staying about three steps ahead of me. "Do you know why Axel is, even now, willing to withstand your punishment?"

I paused and quietly said, "Because he doesn't want me to have to withstand it."

"Yes," he said, turning around to look at me. "Even at this very moment, he bears the torment and humiliation that should, in all rights, be yours to bear simply because, for some inexplicable reason, he loves you when love should not even be possible for one such as him."

"Um..." I said, trying to ignore the rapid beating of my heart from the words "at this very moment." "What are you getting at?"

He turned away from me, beginning to walk again as he said, "I suppose I should thank you, Roxas."

"Why?" I asked, following him around a corner.

"You have given me something I never expected I would have again," he said as he stopped to inspect the books on a nearby bookshelf.

"What?" I asked, glancing up at the books. There were some encyclopedias along with a few titles I'd never heard of before.

"Hope," he said, seeming to loom over me as he gazed down at me.

"Um..." I said, trying to process that. "I'm not sure I follow."

His lips turned up in a small smile as he continued, "Xemnas has always told us that we do not possess hearts, that they were taken from us when we were consumed by the darkness. However, you have proven this to be... incorrect. I believe that we do, in fact, have hearts, but that they were seized, clouded by the darkness we so willingly allowed to enter them." He placed his hand on his chest and said, "They are still there, but we have allowed ourselves to be blinded by darkness. Demyx was somehow able to see through this darkness and thus retained his emotions. You, Roxas, are of the light and were unable to be completely taken by darkness. Axel... was somehow able to find his light through you. Do you know what this means for us?"

"Uh..." I said, trying to wrap my mind around what Zexion had just informed me of. "Maybe?"

"I have seen the light break through the darkness in Axel's heart," Zexion said, a hint of excitement in his voice. "He is living proof that there is another way. I believe that we simply need to find our individual lights to regain what we have lost. I believe, in actuality, that we have not _lost_... anything, that it has simply been hidden from us. I am beginning to see... my own light." He looked up at the level of library above us before looking back at me and continuing, "However, if my theory is correct, then we have been mindlessly collecting hearts all these years for no reason. I can see now that we can find our hearts without bringing harm to others. Xemnas, I'm afraid, will never be persuaded to see things in a new perspective. He will never realize that what happened with you, Demyx, and Axel was more than just an anomaly. He must be stopped."

"Yeah," I said with a sigh. "I'll be glad when this is all over and I can just..." I paused. I didn't know what I wanted anymore. I thought I just wanted to go on with my life, but... I knew now that the life I'd known wasn't even real. Did I really want to go back to that? If my memories of my real life were coming back, did that mean that the memories that had been planted of me in Twilight Town were beginning to fade? Would I even have anywhere to go back to? "I don't know."

"May I ask you something?" Zexion asked, shifting his weight.

"Sure," I said, looking at him expectantly.

"When you met Axel," he began, looking down, "in Twilight Town... how was he?"

I thought about it for a moment before saying, "I was being bullied. I was the outcast that no one wanted to be around. But Axel, he... He was kind to me. He helped me. He seemed... genuinely concerned about me. But he was always worried about something. I guess now I know why."

"You confirm it," he whispered. He looked up at me and said, "Cherish him."

"I do," I said, closing my eyes.

"You have no idea what you have," he said, his voice faltering for a moment. "In all rights, he shouldn't be able to love you. The fact that he does... just makes it all even more worthwhile. Cherish him, Roxas. Without you, he would be nothing more than a shell, a broken remnant of his former self. You complete him. You are his light."

"And Demyx is yours," I said. "You said you can't love him, but you do feel something for him, don't you?"

"He loves me," he whispered, hiding his face behind his hair. "He truly loves me, and I am unable to return his feelings. I know how I must be hurting him every time he tells me that he loves me... and all I can do is nod."

"But you feel guilty about that don't you?" I asked. "You don't want to hurt him, do you?" He looked up at me, his eyes wide as I continued, "If you were really emotionless, you wouldn't be able to care that you were hurting him. His pain wouldn't phase you at all, but it does. That's at least something, right?"

"I..." he said, lowering his gaze. "I suppose."

"Zexion..." I said, stepping toward him. "You may not be able to love him yet, but you do care about him. I think knowing that would be enough for him right now."

"Roxas!" Demyx called from above us. I looked up to see him leaning over the railing to my right. "Roxas, I found it! Oh, hi, Zexy!" He waved, book in hand.

As we went to meet Demyx at the bottom of the stairs, I turned to Zexion and said, "You can build your way up to love, but right now I think caring about him is wonderful, especially if you can admit it to him."

He paused, watching Demyx rush down the stairs, and said, "I think... you're right."

"Roxas..." Demyx said as he reached the bottom of the stairs, trying to catch his breath. "I got it." He held up a dusty green book, his thumb wedged between two pages, keeping it slightly open.

"What are you up to?" Zexion asked, tilting his head.

"Roxas went vegan," Demyx explained. "So I'm gonna make him soy sea salt ice cream."

"Are you certain that is a good idea?" he asked, raising his visible eyebrow.

"Yeah!" Demyx said, frowning a bit. "I wanted to cheer him up, and he's always liked-"

"I meant you," Zexion said, shaking his head, "cooking."

"How hard can it be?" Demyx asked, looking from me to Zexion.

"Maybe I should help?" Zexion asked, holding his hand out for the book.

"That would be awesome!" Demyx said, pulling Zexion into a hug. "Thanks, Zexy!"

Timidly, Zexion wrapped his arms around Demyx, moving into the embrace and leaning his head on Demyx's shoulder. I smiled at the sight. It wasn't much, but it was a start.

* * *

**A/N: Zemyx is one of my all time favorite pairings (right up there with AkuRoku)! But yeah, now I'm kinda stuck. Not like... writer's block stuck, but I'm not quite sure how I want to go about getting from here to the awesometastic -censored- (no spoilers). I know where I want the story to go, but I can't just go from "yay, let's hug Demyx" to "(still no spoilers)." I'll figure it out though. Thanks for reading. Please review! :)**


	24. Chapter 24

**Summary**: The bullying that has haunted Roxas for years just became worse. After enduring a very tough break-up with Hayner, the whole school *mysteriously* finds out that he's gay. Will Axel be able to stop Roxas from harming himself when things just get too much to take? Akuroku. **Warning**: Involves physical/sexual abuse.

**Disclaimer**: I own nothing but the storyline!

* * *

While I admit, I was afraid to actually eat a sample of the vaguely greenish blue concoction that Demyx had whipped up, I had to say that it actually didn't taste very bad. With Zexion's help, Demyx managed not to poison us all while actually making a delicious treat. The salty-sweet taste was actually quite comforting and familiar, though it did seem a little off. Of course, it still had to freeze for an hour or so.

When Demyx turned away to clean up the mess all over the counter-tops, I nudged Zexion toward the chipper blond. Zexion's aqua eyes grew wide as he gulped, glancing over at Demyx. I gave him a reassuring nod and a slight smile.

After taking a deep breath, he tapped him on the shoulder and asked, "Demyx?"

Demyx spun around, blue goo dripping off of the rubber spatula in his hand as he answered, "Yah?"

Zexion cleared his throat and said, "There is... something I feel I have to tell you."

At this point, I excused myself and made my way out of the kitchen. I wasn't really sure that Zexion knew how to go about explaining his feelings to Demyx, but that was a moment I didn't think I wanted to intrude on.

I smiled when I heard Demyx's high-pitched squeak of, "_Really_?" from halfway down the hall. I was now certain that that was definitely not something I wanted to intrude on. Instead, I decided to go and see if Xemnas had finished his talk with Axel.

As I approached the door to Axel's room, I heard muffled voices from inside. I thought about turning around and going to find Naminé, but curiosity got the best of me. I stood in front of the door, just close enough to make out what was being said on the other side of it.

I only caught the tail end of what Xemnas had been saying, "...hoping it won't be a lost cause."

"You can stop with the charade, Xemnas," Axel said, his voice sounding tired and frustrated. "What's your real agenda? Why are you playing us this way?"

"You catch on quick," Xemnas said. I could almost hear the smile in his voice. "I'm quite pleased with the results I'm getting."

"Results?" Axel asked. "From what?"

"From you, of course," Xemnas said as if it should have been obvious. "And Roxas."

"You leave him out of this," Axel sneered.

"That's it," Xemnas said, his voice so soft I barely heard it. "Those beautiful emotions." I heard footsteps within the room and when Xemnas spoke again, his voice was farther away from me. "How is it that you came to have them, I wonder?" There was a slight pause and then a scuffing noise. "Ah, ah," Xemnas said. "Remember, you're at my mercy."

"What do you want?" Axel spat.

"Well," he answered with a chuckle. "I _want_ Roxas, but you're not going to let me have him, are you?"

"Never," came the instant reply.

Xemnas hummed and said, "He always gave me such promising results. Such beautiful screams."

"Xemnas," Axel warned.

He snickered and said, "But you... You could be even more promising than him, given the opportunity. You are the only one who has gained a heart, unlike Demyx and Roxas who seemed to have had them all along." There was a pause and I heard Axel gasp before Xemnas continued, "What could you be hiding, I wonder? You changed when you met him. What happened then?"

"I fell in love," he answered, his voice thick with emotion.

"Love," Xemnas repeated. "There is no such thing for us."

"There is for me," Axel said. "You've seen it, Xemnas. I love him."

"It does seem that way," Xemnas chuckled.

"So you want me?" he asked before scoffing. "As you said, I'm at your mercy. What are you waiting for?"

"I'm sure that Vexen has more use for you than I do. At least for the moment. Would you be willing to take part in an experiment?"

"That wasn't part of the deal," Axel said, his voice a bit shaky.

"I'm only asking your consent out of courtesy," Xemnas said calmly, his footsteps echoing through the room as he paced. "You'll be on that table, regardless of whether you're there sedated and restrained or not." The footsteps stopped as he said, "If you come willingly, I might just let you off on the rest of our engagement."

"Roxas too," he said, the bed creaking as he moved. "You won't touch him?"

"Not unless he wants me to." There was a pause, then, "Alright, alright. Consider him safe."

"...Then I'll do it."

"Of course," he said with another chuckle. "I have to say, it's amusing to see how far you'll go for him. Just how far is too far in the name of love? What lines will you refuse to cross?"

"I'd do anything for him," Axel said so quietly I had to strain to hear it.

"Anything?" he asked. "Are you... quite certain of that?"

"Without a doubt," he affirmed.

"We shall see," he said, his voice right next to the door. "This will definitely be fun." There was a slight shuffle, then, "Well, if you'll excuse me, I have to go inform Vexen of your positive decision."

I scrambled away from the door and pretended to raise my hand to knock just as Xemnas opened the door to leave.

"Well, hello, Roxas," Xemnas said, smiling as he deliberately brushed past me, sending a revolting tremor running through me. "No need to pretend on my account," he said as he walked away.

I let out a breath I hadn't realized I was holding before knocking on Axel's doorpost as I poked my head inside.

"Hey," he said, not meeting my gaze. I noticed that he was now wearing a pair of black jeans.

"What was that about?" I asked as I came in, shutting the door behind me.

"Nothing," he said with a sigh, running a hand through his hair. "He really takes a while to get to the point though."

"I noticed," I said, grimacing as I sat down at the foot of Axel's bed. "Do you know how long you have to stay here?"

"I honestly have no idea," he said, sighing again. "C'mere."

I glanced over to where he sat, his arms held open for me, and asked, "Are you sure that's a good idea?"

He gestured to himself before saying, "It's not as bad as it looks."

"It looks pretty bad," I answered before tentatively crawling into his embrace, stiffening when he winced. "Sorry," I said, trying to pull away.

He held me firmly in place as he said, "S'okay. I don't really feel the pain. I need you with me more than anything else."

"I'm with you," I said, closing my eyes when I felt his lips brush the top of my head. "No matter what."

"I'm glad," he said, resting his head on top of mine.

"Axel?" I asked, pulling away a bit to look him in the eyes.

"Yeah?" he said, searching my face.

I bit my lip and said, "I don't want you to get hurt again."

"What makes you think I will?" he asked, brushing his knuckles along my cheek.

"I heard Xemnas say something about an experiment," I admitted. "That sounds pretty... painful."

"Don't worry about it," he said, pulling me back so my head was against his chest. "If all goes as planned, we won't be here very much longer."

"What?" I asked, pulling away again. "We're leaving?"

"You let me and Demyx worry about that," he said with a smile. "Let's get some rest before anyone else comes barging in here."

"I could probably use some real sleep," I said, trying not to jolt Axel too much when he pulled me down.

"I promise, I'm not going to let anything else happen to you, Roxas," he whispered as he turned onto his side, wrapping his arms around me. "I love you."

"Love you too," I said, melting into his embrace. I trusted Axel with more than my life. If he said we would be leaving soon, I had faith that he would keep his word. Maybe... things would start to get better now. Maybe.

* * *

**A/N: So sorry for the wait. School has been AAAHHHHHHHHRRRGGGGHHH... eep. I have my last final Thursday night and then I don't have to see that place until January... 18? I think? Yeah. I'll put up another chapter soon after collapsing from a hyperactive spasm of not having to do any more schoolwork. It should start to get interesting now. Anyway, sorry this one was so short. It was sorta just a filler, since my brain is not cooperating with me at all anymore. I'll have more soon though. Thanks for reading. Please review! :)**


	25. Chapter 25

**Summary**: The bullying that has haunted Roxas for years just became worse. After enduring a very tough break-up with Hayner, the whole school *mysteriously* finds out that he's gay. Will Axel be able to stop Roxas from harming himself when things just get too much to take? Akuroku. **Warning**: Involves physical/sexual abuse.

**Disclaimer**: I own nothing but the storyline!

* * *

The next few weeks went by in a confusing blur. Axel's sentence had, indeed, been lifted but, honestly, I think I actually liked it better when he had to stay cooped up. At least then I got to see him more often than not. Now, even though this was obviously better for him (I assume), seeing him was a less than common occurrence and actually being able to spend time with him was a rare treat. The only reason I was able to endure it was because, when I _was _able to see him, he actually seemed happier. When he wasn't holed up in some obscure part of the castle doing God knows what with Vexen, he had free range to do whatever he wanted. The problem was that he _was_ holed up with Vexen about ninety percent of the time. I put my heart at ease by telling myself that Axel did seem happier and that whatever he's doing with Vexen had to be better than the alternative with Xemnas... right?

The time I did get to spend with Axel was worth the wait, though. He's playful and joking and incredibly sweet and he's able to move around a lot more now that his injuries are all but healed. He'll probably always have scars on his back, but it could have been a lot worse. I'm so glad, of course, that no further physical harm has come to him since Vexen started his... experiment, but I'm worried about what else might be happening. Whenever I tried to ask him what's going on with Vexen, he'd just smile and say that he can't talk about it but he's okay. If he was being honest, then that's enough for me, but part of me still wondered what happens after Vexen comes to take him away.

I spent most of the time that Axel was away with Demyx and Zexion. They seemed to be getting along very well. It was a bit awkward at first, but they worked through it and are now quite happy with each other. It was interesting, to say the least, to be around them. Zexion's calm, collected intellect balanced out Demyx's hyperactive moodiness rather well. They could most often be found in the lounge area. Zexion would be reading one of his books, seemingly not paying any attention to Demyx, who would be blabbering on about something or other. Every so often, I would see him glance up from his book and smile at Demyx.

I spent the rest of my time with various other Organization members... or sleeping. I'd met just about everyone during my first few days here. Some of them did their best to try to make me feel welcome while others either just didn't care or, like Larxene and Xaldin, simply ignored me. Basically, if I wasn't with Demyx and Zexion (or sleeping), I was with Xigbar and Luxord. Apparently, they were intimately involved, though I didn't think either of them could actually care about the other. They weren't really the types to be bothered with finding their lights and regaining their hearts. Honestly, I don't think they really cared either way as long as they had a good time.

Currently, Marluxia, Xigbar, Luxord and I were sitting in the lounge area. Marluxia was fidgeting with a Rubik's cube, Xigbar and Luxord were playing a very heated game of poker, and I was sitting a safe distance away, remembering just how rough these games could get, watching things unfold.

"No way you could pull that off, Lux," Xigbar said, eyeing Luxord's cards. "You cheated!"

"Don't hate me cuz I'm better than you, darling," Luxord said with a wink. "You knew you couldn't win, but tried anyway."

"Maybe I could beat you if you played fair," Xigbar said, crossing his arms over his chest.

"No one can beat me at poker, love," Luxord said, leaning in. "Maybe you're just not as good as you thought."

"As if," Xigbar scoffed. "Shouldn't have let you deal from your own deck."

"Despite what you think," Luxord said, crossing his ankles on the table, "I don't cheat. I'm naturally gifted."

"Naturally gifted my ass," Xigbar said with a smirk. "I may only have one good eye, but my vision's good as ever. I saw that little switch you made."

"Oh, really?" Luxord answered, a grin spreading on his face. "So the cards you have stuffed in your right pocket don't mean anything?"

"That... uh..." Xigbar stuttered.

"I did it!" Marluxia suddenly shouted, causing everyone in the room, including me, to jump. Without warning, he shot up, lept over to Luxord, and held a completed Rubik's cube in his face. "You owe me twenty bucks!"

"Roxas!" Demyx shouted as he ran through the door, slightly out of breath. "We need to... Oh hi, guys. I need to borrow Roxas for a bit."

"What...?" I asked as Demyx grabbed my arm and towed me through the door.

"We're leaving, but we have to move fast," Demyx said, still pulling me along behind him. "Axel said to meet him in your room. Hurry." He pushed me in that general direction before heading off in the opposite.

"Where are you going?" I asked.

"I have to find Zexion," he said, turning around. "Go!" He started to continue on his way, but turned back around, freezing mid-step and going incredibly pale.

"Demyx?" I asked, taking a step toward him.

I felt a hand on my shoulder, the fingers almost digging into my flesh, as that voice I have come to dread said, "I have had quite enough of this."

"Xemnas," I said, sending a pleading look to Demyx that hopefully screamed, _RUN_!

Thankfully, it worked. Demyx looked from me to Xemnas and back before opening a portal and scrambling into it. Whatever happened to me now, at least I knew my friends would be safe.

"How far did you think you could go before we caught up to you again?" he asked, his breath warm on my ear. With his free hand, he captured both of my wrists behind my back. "Did you honestly think we would let you leave this castle _alive_?"

"It's better than staying here," I said, not even bothering to struggle.

"And running worked out so well for you last time," he said with a chuckle. He released my shoulder, forcefully shoved me into the wall across from us, and said, "I should kill you right now, but unfortunately you're still better use to me alive. At least until we find Axel." He chuckled again, his nose nuzzling my neck. "Watching the life fade from your eyes will take the fight right out of him, don't you think?"

I winced when I felt a sharp sting in the side of my neck. "What are you-"

"Shut up," Xemnas retorted, releasing my hands and backing away from me.

I turned around, my head spinning as I did so. My legs were wobbling and everything was blurry. I blinked, trying to clear my vision so I could see what Xemnas was doing, but it didn't help. Then the world tipped and suddenly Xemnas was standing sideways. I didn't even have time to realize that I had fallen before everything went black.

* * *

**A/N: Sorry it's been so long. I've had the flu. :( Not fun. Anyway, I know I left you with a cliffy, and I'm so sorry, but I don't think I can get another upload in until after Christmas. Family's coming down from New York. Much chaos ensues. Thanks for being so great! I wasn't even going to write this one, but after reading all the new reviews I just had to. You guys are awesome and I can't even say how much I appreciate your support! Luxord and Xigbar... kind of a last second choice, but it works somehow. Happy Holidays! Thanks for reading. Please review! :)**


	26. Chapter 26

**Summary**: The bullying that has haunted Roxas for years just became worse. After enduring a very tough break-up with Hayner, the whole school *mysteriously* finds out that he's gay. Will Axel be able to stop Roxas from harming himself when things just get too much to take? Akuroku. **Warning**: Involves physical/sexual abuse.

**Disclaimer**: I own nothing but the storyline!

* * *

The first thing I realized when I came to was that I was horribly uncomfortable. That, coupled with the fact that I seemed to have very angry, hammer-wielding gnomes in my head made sitting up virtually impossible. I tried opening my eyes, only to have them assaulted by very harsh white light. When I could finally stand to keep my eyes open, I discovered that I was lying with the right side of my face pressed painfully into a hard stone floor and my mouth taped shut. My hands no longer had any feeling in them whatsoever thanks to being tied tightly behind my back for however long I'd been here. The position was made even more uncomfortable by my knees pressing into my chest, my backside (thankfully) against the wall behind me. There was also a very loud, crackling roar originating from above me.

After coming out of the brain fog, I realized that someone was talking, quite frantically, not fifteen feet away from me. The roar had not ceased.

"It's already reached the upper levels," said the very strange and shaky voice. "We can't contain it anymore and Demyx is nowhere to be found. We have to get out of here!"

It was Xaldin who spoke next, "Get ahold of yourself and go join the others."

"Right," came the reply. "W-What about him?"

"Leave him," Xaldin snorted. I heard footsteps drawing closer to me, and then the sound of metal on metal.

"But he can't portal out of here. If we leave him, he'll die."

"So?" Xaldin asked. "Consider him one of the deceased. Now go before you join him."

There was a brief pause, then, "Okay." Then came the sound of retreating footsteps and a door creaking open.

Once the other man had left, I heard something scratching metal and Xaldin said, "Hate to be you, kid, but this is what you get for playing with fire. Enjoy the burn."

As I heard Xaldin leave, I moved as much as I was able until I managed to roll onto my right side. It was only then that I realized just how much trouble I was currently in. I was now occupying one of the smaller cells in the lower level. There were no bars, just a stone wall and a metal door with a small, barred window. There was also a small, barred window higher on the wall beside me, through which I could see my other problem. It seemed that the majority of the castle was now wreathed in flames.

My eyes grew wide and I struggled to free myself, but it was no use. I couldn't even budge the ropes. My body seemed to weigh a ton and wasn't cooperating with me at all. I tried to at least sit up, but only succeeded in almost dislocating my shoulder.

I exhaled sharply, my eyes beginning to water. I didn't know if it was from the smoke that was steadily filling the room, or my own despair. Why now of all times, when I finally had reason to live, was I going to die? The Organization had abandoned me. It was doubtful that they were going to attempt to rescue me, and no one I could trust knew where I was.

I could now see the glow of the fire through the window in the door. The only thing I had on my side right now was that the walls were stone and the door was metal. Maybe I wouldn't burn. Maybe the smoke would kill me first. Wasn't that how it was supposed to happen?

The heat around me was so intense I could barely stand it. Closing my eyes, I lifted my head as high as I could get it and slammed it back down onto the stone. I hoped I would knock myself out, at least, so I wouldn't have to be conscious when I died. All I accomplished, however, was pissing off the hammer-wielding gnomes.

Just as I was about to smash my head on the floor again, I heard the last thing I'd expected to hear right now.

"Oh shit, that's a lot of fire. Oh jeez."

Demyx.

"Shut up and put it out!"

Axel!

"I can't deal with all of it."

"Then just clear a path, dammit!" Axel shouted. "Roxas! Roxas, are you in here?"

I put my head down and screamed as loud as I could through the tape.

"I hear him!" Demyx exclaimed. "We're coming, buddy!"

"Where are you?" Axel yelled. "You gotta make more noise."

I inhaled sharply and put as much force as I could muster into calling out for Axel.

"There!" Axel shouted. I heard two sets of footsteps sprint toward me.

"Ah fu-" Demyx winced. "Hot."

"Move," Axel demanded. I heard him jiggle the doorknob, but the door was locked. In the next instant, the door flew open, crashing against the wall from the force of Axel's kick. "Roxas!" He ran over to me, kneeling to untie my hands. "Can you stand?" he asked as he ripped the tape away from my mouth.

"Yeah," I said as he put his arm around my back, helping me to my feet.

"Good," he said, giving me a quick kiss on the cheek. "Then let's get the hell out of-"

It happened so quickly, I didn't even know it _did_ happen at first. Axel just suddenly cried out, dropping to all fours with one hand clutching his chest. It wasn't until the blood started to drip out from between his fingers that I realized he'd been shot.

"Axel!" I screamed, reaching for him, almost losing my balance in the process while frantically searching the small area I could see outside the window.

I was about to kneel next to him when I heard a sharp crack. Axel gasped and used what was probably the rest of his strength to push me clear out of the cell. Demyx caught me before I could fall and from his arms, I watched the stone ceiling collapse.

For a brief moment, I couldn't breathe. Then I was screaming. "AXEL! Axel can you hear me! Please answer me! Say something! Please! Axel!"

"Roxas," Demyx said, pulling on my arm, just as another section of ceiling fell down not five feet from us. "Come on. We have to go."

I threw him a disgusted look and said, "No! NO! I'm not leaving him here!"

"He's still alive, Roxas," Demyx said. I could hear the unspoken "for now" without any trouble. "He... He'll be fine. We HAVE to get out of here."

"YOU DON'T KNOW THAT!" I screamed as he started dragging me toward the doorway. "We have to help him! He could be dying! Or... dead."

Demyx said nothing. Instead, he easily threw me over his shoulder and raced out the door. As soon as we were clear, the area around us blackened.

"Where are you taking me?" I demanded, my voice cracking.

"Home," Demyx answered, his voice flat.

A moment later, the moon was shining on me and Demyx was laying me down on something soft. I didn't even have to open my eyes to know where I was. Leave it to Demyx to bring me to the last place I needed to be right now.

I could feel Demyx watching me, but I would not look at him. Sighing, he said, "You don't really know what happened, Roxas. For all you know, the stones could have missed him entirely and he portalled out. He could be coming home any minute."

I knew he was trying to make me feel better, but I could hear the lie in his voice. I wasn't ignorant anymore. I knew as well as he did that you can't portal out of the cells. I knew as well as he did that Axel was dead by now.

"I have to go meet up with Zexion," he said, finally releasing me. "I won't be gone long, but will you be okay here?"

"Yeah," I lied.

"Okay, then... um..." I could hear him shifting his weight anxiously as he spoke.

"See you later, Demyx," I said, trying to sound sincere.

"Right..." he said with a nervous giggle. "Bye, Roxas."

I hesitated for a moment, then said, "Bye, Demyx."

I waited until I heard him close the door behind him before curling inward, losing control of almost all bodily function. I started shuddering, sharply inhaling and exhaling in heavy, shaky bursts. I screamed and cried until my voice was gone and my eyes went dry, Then I cried some more, laying there in still silence, barely aware of anything.

I opened my eyes for the first real time when I felt something steadily scraping my hand. I looked down to see a rather hefty orange and white cat rubbing against my hand.

"Freckles..." I said hoarsely.

He looked up at me and meowed. It seemed like a quite intelligent, questioning meow, so I answered, "Axel isn't coming back."

My heart pounded in my chest at those words. Saying it out loud... confirming the fact that I was never going to see Axel again... It hurt beyond words. Demyx told me he was taking me "home." Supposedly, home is where the heart is. If that was true, then I no longer had a home, because my heart died with Axel.

I should have known better than this. Just when I thought it couldn't possibly get worse, it did. It always does. Here, I'd found... something real... something worth living for... and now it's just... gone. Life wasn't worth anything anymore.

My internal conversation was broken by the sound of the not-so-distant Clock Tower striking midnight. It was as if that sound had decided my fate for me. Without a second thought, I got up and began to run.

* * *

Looking down at Station Plaza from the top of the tower used to be frightening and exhilarating, but not tonight. Tonight, I couldn't feel that rush of adrenaline, or the excitement that came with it. At this point in time, I was almost completely numb. The wind was cold and strong, threatening to topple me over. It was almost as if it was trying to tell me to get on with it.

I closed my eyes and stretched my arms out to my sides. I was crying again, but this time I was smiling as well. I felt peaceful... even happy. My lifetime of suffering was about to come to an end and I would see Axel again.

I took a deep breath, thinking of his face. He was smiling at me, beckoning to me. The image was so strong that I could almost hear him calling out to me.

"I love you... Axel," I said, sighing as I allowed myself to fall toward the ground below.

* * *

**A/N: I. AM. SO. SORRY. THIS. TOOK. SO. LONG! I promise I won't take nearly as long to update this time. It's just been so hectic since Christmas and bleh. Family. Life. Mental disorders and Zoloft. College stuffies and Wednesday night class. I killed the Trix rabbit with my cold, bare mechanical death claws. The list goes on. YIKES DON'T KILL ME. I left you... jumping off... a cliffy again but I swear I'll have the next (and perhaps last? I don't know) chapter up by the end of next week at the latest. LOVE AND STUFF. Never forget that you are awesome. Thanks for reading. Please review! :)**


	27. Chapter 27  To Be Continued

**Summary**: The bullying that has haunted Roxas for years just became worse. After enduring a very tough break-up with Hayner, the whole school *mysteriously* finds out that he's gay. Will Axel be able to stop Roxas from harming himself when things just get too much to take? Akuroku. **Warning**: Involves physical/sexual abuse.

**Disclaimer**: I own nothing but the storyline!

* * *

I had expected a brief rush of air, a sudden intense pain in my entire body, and then... nothing. What I hadn't expected was an extremely short fall, a sudden, searing pain in my shoulder, and then...

"I love you too, now get your ass back up here."

I looked up to see a dirty, teary-eyed Axel leaning over the ledge and clutching my arm in a death grip. I was so shocked, confused, and absolutely ecstatic about his presence that I was unable to react.

"Roxas..." Axel said with a slight strain in his voice. "Roxas, give me your other hand."

I obeyed without question, helping him drag me back onto the ledge. The moment I was safely up, he pulled me into a crushing embrace. Everything went black around us for a split second as he opened a portal to take us to the ground. Then he started to cry, almost as fiercely as me when I broke down not long ago.

My mind was lost and I couldn't comprehend anything that was going on at the moment, so I asked, "Am I dead?"

Axel pulled back to look me in the eyes and said, "No you're not dead."

"Then..." I said, still puzzled, "Then you're a ghost?"

"Roxas, I'm not dead either," he said with a bit of bleak amusement in his voice.

"But..." I said, not wanting to believe that Axel was really here and get my hopes up again. "You were shot."

He pulled the neck of his t-shirt down, showing me the ghastly wound on his shoulder, and said, "I'm lucky Xigbar likes me enough to miss."

"The ceiling fell on you, though." My hopes were now beginning to rise against my better judgment, just asking to be crushed again.

"It almost did," he replied, his eyes going wide for a moment. "One of the smaller bits hit me in the head. Knocked me clean out and left me with one hell of a bump."

My heart was racing at this point. It was too good to be true. "But..." I said, trying to dispel the cruel delusion once and for all, "...the fire."

"Roxas..." Axel breathed, shaking his head. He looked me straight in the eyes and asked, "Do you really believe that I can die in a _fire_?"

I scanned his face, letting all the truth and emotion I saw there wash over me and bring me to one, sharp realization. I could barely control my movements then. I literally tackled him, burying my face in his neck. "You're alive," I said through my heaving sobs. "Axel... You're really alive."

"Of course I am," he said, pulling me closer. "You can't get rid of me that easily."

"I don't want to," I replied with a sniffle. "I thought I'd lost you."

Axel paused for a moment, then said, "Please don't scare me like that again." He ran his fingers through my hair and continued, "When I caught up with Demyx and he said... he had left you _alone_..." I felt his breathing become unsteady and I could clearly hear the pain in his voice. "I saw that he was surprised to see me and when he explained... I could only imagine what you must have been thinking... what you were _feeling_. Then you weren't there when I came looking for you and I..." He took a shaky breath and I felt his tears fall onto my face. "I didn't know if I'd ever see you alive again.

"When I saw you up there, I was so relieved. But then I realized what you were about to do and... when you jumped, I didn't know if I could reach you in time. I thought I was too late." His voice diminished to a whisper as he stopped speaking.

I took a deep breath and said, "I'm sorry, Axel. I'm so sorry."

"It's not your fault," he said, smiling at me. "You're alive. Everything else doesn't matter right now."

Then came the last voice I wanted to hear, "Oh, I beg to differ."

Axel sighed and asked, "Didn't I kill you?"

"Hm," Xemnas said with that disturbing smirk of his. "Pathetic attempt."

"Whatever," Axel said, waving off his words. "Go away."

"'Go away'," Xemnas repeated. "You single-handedly slaughtered more than half of the Organization, destroyed our home and our livelihood, attempted to murder me, kidnapped a prisoner, among other grievous misdeeds, and you think you can tell me to just... '_go_ _away_'?"

"Uh huh," he replied halfheartedly. "You're disturbing our moment, here. Shoo, scram, skedaddle, get lost, fuck off, make tracks, go to hell, and otherwise _go away_."

Xemnas looked more than ready to explode at that moment and I was getting slightly nervous, so I said, "Uh... Axel... maybe you should..."

"No," he said, more to Xemnas than me. He stood up and faced our former overlord, never once letting go of me in the process. "I'm sick of this. I'm so _sick _of having to bow to his every command like some kind of circus freak. I'm sick of of having to wake up every day knowing that someone else controls my life. My very existence seems to have been under his control since it's beginning. Well, no more. I'm not taking any more orders from _you_!" At this point, I could feel fire in his fingertips as he continued, now talking directly to Xemnas, "I'm sick of you thinking you can control our lives, I'm sick of seeing your goddamn _face _every day but most of all, I'm sick of you hurting the only person I really love in this world just so you can have a fucking laugh!"

Axel stepped in front of me, his Eternal Flames appearing in his hands. I suddenly noticed Zexion, Demyx and, surprisingly, Marluxia, each with their respective weapons, backing us up.

"If you value your lives, you'd better stand down," Xemnas said, clutching his Ethereal Blades.

"Oh yeah?" Demyx asked. "You can't take all of us, and you don't have anyone else to run to!"

"I don't have to run," Xemnas said with a chuckle. "True, the five of you _could _eventually defeat me, but who would pay the price for that victory? You know that, even if all of you teemed up against me, at least one of you would die. Would you risk it?"

"Enough talk!" I shouted, summoning my keyblades, Oathkeeper and Oblivion. It felt good to finally use them in battle again. I ran forward, blades ready for bloodshed. I tensed, ready to block as Xemnas raised his hands.

"No!" I heard Axel yell as a blade zipped by my head, missing me by inches.

I was about to tell Xemnas he needed to work on his aim until I heard Demyx scream. I turned, wide-eyed, to see him crouched over, holding a bleeding Zexion.

"No, please..." he sobbed, his words barely discernible. "No... you can't... no... Zexion!"

"De..." Zexion tried to say, choking on the word, an ever-expanding pool of blood forming beneath him. "Demyx... I..." More blood soaked his lips as he coughed.

"Shh..." Demyx said, stroking the side of Zexion's face. "You shouldn't talk."

"No... I..." Zexion winced, but continued, "I have to... t-tell you..."

"Stop trying to talk!" Demyx said, his voice breaking. Dark tendrils were beginning to form on Zexion, burning him away piece by piece. "No..." Demyx said, a tear sliding down his cheek. "No, Zexion, no," he said as he touched his forehead to Zexion's.

"I love you," Zexion said as he looked into Demyx's eyes, smiled, and was no more.

Demyx fell forward onto his hands, his tears falling onto the ground, mixing with Zexion's blood. I saw him clench his fist around the blade that had pierced Zexion's heart. What happened after that wasn't so clear. All I know is that Demyx leaped up and, almost in the blink of an eye, was toe-to-toe with Xemnas. It took me a moment to realize that the blade that had previously been on the ground was now lodged in Xemnas' abdomen.

A moment later, Demyx was stumbling backward, clutching his chest. He looked... almost at peace. Xemnas, on the other hand, looked infuriated. He was staggering toward Demyx, a look of death on his face. I dropped my keyblades, to shocked to hold onto them any longer, and scurried to Demyx's side. Axel followed.

"Demyx!" I said, kneeling beside him. His wound didn't look as bad as Zexion's had, or even as bad as Xemnas' (who was now almost collapsed). He might have been able to pull through.

"At least..." he whispered, tears still filling his eyes, "I'm going too." He looked up at Axel and said, "Finish me."

"What?" Axel asked, taken aback when Demyx lifted his hand, chakram and all, and put it to his chest.

"Please," Demyx begged. "Axel... I want to be with him. Please, kill me."

Axel's eyes searched Demyx's for a moment, then he closed them and nodded.

"Thank you," Demyx whispered, closing his eyes as well.

"Axel?" I asked, looking from him to Demyx.

"Turn away, Roxas," he whispered, never taking his eyes off of Demyx.

"Wait," I said, reaching out to him.

"I don't want you to see this," he said.

"Roxas..." Demyx said, looking me straight in the eye. "It's what I want... what I need. You understand?"

I nodded, blinking tears away. I did understand, probably more than anyone else. There just... wasn't any reason for him to go on. After all, he was already dead inside. "Goodbye, Demyx," I said, turning and walking away from them. I heard Axel say something to Demyx, and then the sickening sound of metal slicing flesh. I waited until I heard Demyx ultimately fade before turning around, too shocked for tears.

"Axel?" I asked, reaching out for him. He was standing now.

"Guys," Marluxia said, drawing my attention. I had almost forgotten he was there. He gestured to Xemnas with his scythe. "He's not dead. What do we do with him?"

I went over, joining Marluxia next to Xemnas' now unconscious form. Axel stayed as he was. I looked down at the man I held so much hate for. It would have been so easy to summon my keyblade and deal the final blow, but I didn't want to see another death tonight.

"The wound is fatal," I said, gesturing to where Demyx had stabbed him. "Just leave him."

He nodded and said, "Then... I guess I'll leave you two alone. I wanted to track down Xigbar and Luxord anyway."

"Okay," I whispered.

"See ya," he said, opening a portal and stepping through it.

I exhaled slowly and turned to Axel. He was still staring down at the small blood stain where Demyx had fallen. I had no idea as to the thoughts that were currently swirling around in his head. I was sad and upset that our friends had died, but Axel... having been the one to strike the final blow... It would definitely leave him scarred.

"What can I do?" I asked.

He shook his head, looked up at me, and said, "I don't know." He exhaled and said, "You know... the last thing I said to him before... this..." He sighed, running his fingers through his hair. "I just wish I could take it back... tell him how grateful I am for getting you out of the castle."

"I'm sure he knew that," I said, trying to force a smile.

"I know but..." he said, looking back at me. His eyes went wide, then hostile. "Roxas!" he said, his chakrams appearing in a fiery burst.

Before I even had time to ask what was wrong, a strong hand was holding my hands behind me and a knife was to my throat.

"Never turn your back on an enemy that isn't dead," Xemnas hissed into my ear.

"I'll have to remember that next time," I spat, trying to struggle loose, which only caused the knife at my throat to bite into my flesh, causing a thin line of blood to appear.

"You let him go, Xemnas," Axel warned, his chakrams raised.

"Why?" he asked. "So you can finish me off? I don't think so."

"Okay," Axel said, his weapons vanishing. He raised his hands and said, "I'm unarmed. Now, let him go. I promise, if you do, you'll get out of here alive."

"I don't trust you," Xemnas said, wincing a bit, but never faltering. "I'm weakened just enough for both of you to be a lethal threat. Right now, he's the only thing standing between me and my potential demise."

"We're talking about Roxas," Axel said, a frantic edge to his voice. "You know what I'll do when it comes to him."

"Very much," he said with a smile. "Nevertheless, leaving with him is the only way I can guarantee I'll also leave with my life." He paused, then added, "And maybe... I just want the satisfaction of knowing that you know he's with me, that I have him restrained, and that, once my wound heals, I could be doing absolutely anything to him." He lifted the knife from my neck and caressed my cheek with the blunt edge. "And every day he's with me is another day you'll be asking yourself if he's dead or alive."

Axel glared at Xemnas, his entire form shaking, and asked, "Can I say goodbye to him?"

"Be my guest," he said, returning the knife to my throat and tightening his grip on my hands.

Axel walked cautiously towards us, making sure Xemnas saw everything he was doing, until he stood only inches away from me.

"I'm sorry, Roxas," he said, wrapping his arms around me, ignoring Xemnas altogether. I felt him slip something into my back pocket just before he pressed his lips to mine. Hopefully, Xemnas didn't notice. That was basically the last rational thought I had before I lost myself in Axel's kiss. Though it was frantic, and rushed, it was one of the best. It was filled with so much emotion, so much that words could never say. Neither of us knew if it would be our last, but both of us were determined for it not to be.

Axel broke the kiss, but didn't step away. "I'll find you," he said. "I promise. And when I do... whatever he's done to you, I'll make him suffer a thousand times over." Xemnas scoffed, but neither of us payed him any attention.

"Promise?" I asked.

He nodded and said, "Even if he drags you to the end of the world, I'll always be there to bring you back."

"I love you," I said to him, watching his image fade as darkness closed around me.

* * *

**A/N: First of all, I'm sorry for the delay. I would have had this up last week, but the screen on my laptop decided it would be fun to crack down the middle, so I had to get it replaced. Second, I know you were probably expected a "happy ending." Believe me, so was I. After Axel's rant, I was so tempted to write, "Epic battle ensues, Xemnas dies, and everyone goes home happy. The end." However, one of my friends who proofread the original monstrosity said, "Well you could end it such and such a way." I liked it how I had it originally, though, and would have submitted it that way had my laptop not failed me. Then, over the week it was being fixed, I got to thinking about what my friend had said, and I kind of ran her ending and my ending together and came up with THAT ^^ ! There may or may not be a sequel. I'll leave it up to you. (So review... or you won't get one! jk i luv uuus!) I'm still planning on writing this in Axel's POV, but that might be put on hold for potential sequel. Thanks for being so supportive. I love you and thank you all. Thanks for reading. Please review! :)**

**P.S. I cried so hard writing this chapter.**


End file.
